Mass Effect - Reflections
by Praetus
Summary: The galaxy is recovering in the wake of the Reaper war - nearly a year has passed and Commander Shepard awakens to a universe changed and teetering on the brink of uncertainty. Old friends have drifted and alliances are being redrawn. Can he find hope amidst the rubble or will everything that he built be crushed in another war?
1. Chapter 1 - Third time's a charm

**Author's Note: The usual disclaimer – Mass Effect is wholly owned by Bioware and EA. This is a bit of fluff and extra world building to expand on the fantastic universe created by them. Please feel free to send feedback and leave reviews – I will be editing as I go (I've done a fair bit on the first three chapters, but I am mortal and likely to miss a few things!) if I find any major issues / spelling errors or flat out contradictions.**

I hope you enjoy.

The first sensation was pain. He couldn't really put it into words, as one sufficed: _everywhere. _His limbs were aflame, muscles screaming, flesh prickling against cold air. The feel of drifting grit and the smell of smoke and charred flesh.

The second sensation was realisation: that _he_ was what smelled of smoked meat.

The third sensation was that he was _alive._ His memory was a blur - a white, transparent being, offering guidance. His bleary understanding, visualising through blood loss and several broken bones. His rejection as he saw through the lie.

The voice.

**We Are Your Salvation Through Destruction**

The pistol, heavy in his hand as he had pointed at the pipes, the sensation of movement behind him - the lunging, rotting form of a huskified Illusive Man lurching at him. The impact and those glowing yellow eyes amidst a face of blue-electric veins, the creature's lurch through the holographic "child". He had felt himself twist, the flash of agony spasming muscles as he had leveraged the sudden assault. He had seen the creature fly past, its own momentum inexorable. He had seen it impact the beam. The arcs of white light and the sudden impact of erupting mass effect fields - the Citadel and Crucible firing. The scream of denial and frustration _and fear_ from a thousand age-old abominations across the stars as their final ploy had failed. The feedback of one of their own falling into a galactic-band transmitter.

He had felt it, it his mind - the scrabbling grey-blue of the indoctrinated, their voices, seeing through this what they really _were_. The horror causing thousands of starships of gestalt, dissolved organics to cease their denial of their true nature and to truly _see._

The explosions of a thousand ageless entities committing suicide. Billions of voices shrieking in anguish and despair and _relief._

Falling.

And now pain. The rubble crushing his leg and the dusty air choking his lungs.

Pain but also peace.

And now a fourth sensation - movement. Rubble dragged from him, causing new symphonies of agony across his ruined form. Voices, barely recognisable and at the edge of hearing. Crying. The light streaming across blurred vision as he was moved. And slowly, ever slowly, the all encompassing blackness of oblivion.

They watched him. Countless faces. Some ruined and bleeding, others angry and confused. At their front, Chief Williams, her eye accusing. As he watched, her face distorted, her complexion taking on a grey-blue pallor, her eyes sinking into her skull, melting as blue optics forced their way through. Blue cables pushed to the surface of her skin, replacing veins and muscle. THe mockery of humanity snarled and _lunged_.

He jolted forwards, beeping echoing in his ears, the crackle of machinery and the hiss of a pump. He hacked and scrabbled as he realised something was obscuring his throat. Bodily he pulled the pipe from his mouth, vomiting as it cleared his lips. There was a loud, insistent noise, some form of alert? His vision blurred as figures crowded around him. He saw the frill-crest of a Marauder and lashed out, catching the thing a strike across a metal mandible. An arm slammed across his chest and he focused on a humanoid shape. He flailed against the husk, the machine noises and clicks overwhelming the senses. Beyond them he heard shouts and cries, which formed themselves into words.

"...hold him steady…"

"Get me that damn sedative…"

"Are you sure? We want to knock him out? After all this time…"

"...aw hell, by mandible, think he cracked it…" 

"..us Christ he's strong…"

He flailed again, but weakly this time, his breaths coming ragged. He saw something approach, holding a hypo, which he knocked aside. He managed a breath and forced the words out.

"Where… am… I?"

The pressure subsided. The figures still maintained a gentle pressure on him, but there was a cautious pause. His vision began to clear, but his eyes hurt like hell. Focus returned, slowly, showing the figures around him: A turian, clad in a white coat, nursing his cheek, two humans, holding his arms and an Asari. It was the blue woman who spoke first.

"Do you remember your name?"

She spoke slowly, careful, as one would to a child. He felt a flash of irritation, but it subsided quickly.

"John Shepard, Commander Alliance Navy, Spectre. Number 25145597."

Reapers didn't interrogate; indoctrinated might, but there was a caution there, a shock that could be seen clear in her face. He decided to ask again.

"Where. Am. I."

The Asari stepped away from him and buzzed a comm near the door - now his vision was back he could make out details - a hospital room, or similar - all clean white with holographic displays and medical equipment.

Quite a lot of medical equipment.

He heard the Asari speak again.

"Get me Admiral Hackett. He's awake."


	2. Chapter 2 - Reality Check

"Eleven Months."

Shepard's voice was a dull monotone. Admiral Hackett, to his credit, didn't waver. He offered a short nod.

"_Eleven _months? What the hell."

"You were in a bad way, Commander. We were lucky to have Miranda on site. Had to pull another Lazarus, near as dammit. The Krogan strike teams were doing clear-outs of any remaining Reaper ground forces, found you in the rubble near the spire. Managed to get you out of that field hospital and onto the SSV Orizba."

His mother's ship. Shepard managed a staggered, unsteady breath.

"My mother?"

Hackett managed a grin. "She damn near demanded you be placed on board. Still going strong Commander. She said she'd be along after this."

The Admiral sighed - he appeared to sag a little, looking smaller as he leaned against the wall. Such a public display of weariness shocked Shepard. He narrowed his eyes, but didn't speak.

"It's been chaos, Commander. It took us six months to reactivate the relay. Whatever you did knocked them for six. The Comm-buoys were part fried as well, meaning getting in contact with other parts of the galaxy has been difficult at best. By some miracle everything has held together. But we've got bickering starting already - Salarians threatening to strike Tuchanka, Turians threatening reprisals on the Asari for hiding the beacon on Thessia. Hell, the Quarians even declared the veil a no-fly zone for citadel races until the Council has reformed and is willing to negotiate. And with the Geth backing them up, that's a dangerous powder keg."

Shepard watched the Admiral, but said nothing. At this stage it all sounded like so much white noise. He'd done what he set out to do - stop the Reapers. This… this was politics.

"And to cap it all off, we've got to get a new Council elected, whilst dealing with the pirates and separatists from here to the Terminus System." The Admiral caught Shepard's querying look and grinned, quite a disconcerting expression, "No, the Council wasn't killed, surprisingly - most of the Citadel population survived, even with the Crucible firing. They were told to step down by their governments. A 'Failure to anticipate the threat and act on information received.' Some justice in the Universe after all."

Shepard chuckled, despite himself. He leant his head back against the wall and adjusted his seating position, before focusing on the admiral again.

"And my crew."

Hackett blew out another sigh.

"They're alive. Lawson's here, just outside actually. _Lieutenant Commander_ Taylor is currently acting as liaison to the various science teams salvaging the Citadel. Commander Alenko is on Council business. Joker's flying him out on the Normandy - T'Soni and Vega are with him."

The admiral leaned forwards from the wall and looked at the floor.

"The non-Alliance or human team members… well, they're all alive Shepard. Right now, I couldn't tell you where they are. But," he held up a hand as he saw Shepard lean forwards to speak, "I will find out for you. I think General Vakarian has departed the Sol system with the majority of Turian fleet and the Primarch. The Krogan are leaving as well. Urdnot Wrex was invaluable. The Quarians left about two months ago, as soon as the Relay began working again. I'll get my staff to prep files, to bring you up to speed."

Shepard sat there, slightly numb. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting: a crowd outside his hospital room? A three fingered hand clasping his? A permanent, silent peace from a death well-served? He managed to nod an affirmation, but there appeared to be something else on the Admiral's mind.

"Truth be told Shepard, you being alive is… awkward."

That shot home. The Commander tensed and tilted his head and managed a nervous chuckle.

"Awkward, Admiral? Do I owe back taxes?"

Hackett managed a snort of a laugh.

"If only it was so simple. No, Shepard, the issue is that, well, officially, you were declared _dead_ five months ago. You were initial a John Doe in a military field hospital, assumed to be one of the hundreds of N7s we had in London at the time. Your crew… well, aside from Lawson…. they think you're MIA." The Admiral massaged the bridge of his nose and Shepard saw how gaunt the man was looking, perhaps for the first time. The senior officer sighed and continued, "And, politically, your death helped. Martyrdom does a lot to unify people. It's clean. Defined. Makes people rally round. We're going to have to announce your revival carefully. So, I'd ask for discretion approaching your team, please. The communication buoys are pretty beat up still, so there's no guarantee that anything you send _will_ get through. The politicians are going to be begging to parade you or demanding your head as a scapegoat."

He saw Shepard's confused face.

"Oh trust me - the Salarians are gunning for us. Protests about the Krogan, some even blaming you personally for not killing the Reapers _sooner_. That's all directed at the Council at the moment… the former Council. But you… everyone will be watching you. You carry weight, your opinion will _matter_ Commander. And God knows you've earned some peace. So, I want to be careful."

Shepard nodded slowly, still processing it all. His head still felt pretty woozy, but he managed a tired retort.

"For a second there Admiral I was expecting you to ask me to go space myself."

"After spending all this time and money getting you better? I'm not Alliance procurement, Shepard. Anyway, this is going to be a lot to take in. I'll get you the dossiers. Though I imagine T'Soni'll be in touch before I'm halfway down the corridor. Damn useful woman."

Hackett straightened from his leaning position and struck a smart salute.

"And for what it's worth Shepard: damn fine job. We'll try to clear up the mess. Get some rest, soldier."

The Commander blinked and nodded, managing a smile. He returned the salute, albeit less crisply than his superior, the IV drip causing some issues. But the sincerity was there. He watched Hackett leave and sank back into the bed, staring at nothing.

So. They'd won. Peace across the galaxy - for the most part.

And what now? Truth be told, he'd felt his stomach twist when he heard - his crew were alive: good. But they had scattered. And the Quarians had left? His heart beat echoed through him, pounding in his head as he screwed his eyes shut. She thought he was dead. Eleven months.

_Jesus._

The door slid open again and he opened his eyes. Another navy blue uniform. Another admiral's tabs. But the face wasn't as stoic as Hackett's. Hannah Shepard made it two steady paces into the room before nearly falling onto her son, arms wrapping around his neck, tears coming freely.

* * *

It'd been three days, going by the ship's clock, since Shepard had awoken. He'd been provided with a terminal and an omni tool to use between his rehab. Hackett hadn't been wrong: his personal terminal had pinged as soon as it had activated, signalling a very short message, a little over two days ago..

_More lives than a Prothean, it would seem Shepard._

_Thank the goddess you're alive. We are on our way back._

_L_

_P.S. I am going to murder you with my brain when I see you again._

Shepard chuckled. Well, that was something to look forwards to. He minimised the message and began sifting through the news feeds, what few were able to transmit. It painted a grim picture, but not without hope. The fall of the Reapers hadn't transitioned into straight up infighting - the peace held. Though there were some interesting changes afoot:

The Salarians were threatening to withdraw from the Council, protesting at the overt Turian and Krogan alliance as well as the blatant abuse of power by the Asari Republics. Primarch Victus and Wrex were making good on promises it seemed, having managed to control the clans even whilst stranded in the Sol system, as well as direct disparate and stranded forces across the Galaxy. The Asari had been temporarily suspended from galactic politics, although there were still aid efforts funneling into Thessia, whilst an interim "Reconstruction Council" had been formed, based out of Arcturus station - Volus, Elcor, Quarian, Krogan and Geth had joined the Turians, Asari, Humans and even some Salarians in mapping out the way ahead.

Hope, but tinged with loss. Casualties weren't even being estimated - the numbers simply too high. The husks that were being recovered were being buried en-masse, as identification was near impossible. Everyone had lost someone. And yet, here he was. Alive.

It almost didn't feel fair - the universe out of balance. Not _neat_ enough. He'd tried to raise the Migrant Fleet (Which probably wasn't the right term for it now, he supposed) but to no avail - the comm buoys were still not _quite_ functioning reliably. The only way the others had managed to communicate to their homeworlds was via the entanglement communication devices and the Alliance didn't have one encoded for Rannoch - not since the Quarians had left. The extranet was still reliant on the buoys and the Mass Relay transmitters.

His mother had returned to the bridge, but she was making a point of dropping in every few hours, almost as if to make sure he wasn't an illusion. She had restored her composure somewhat, but he himself had broken down a bit as she'd embraced him. The relief, the sheer weight lifting away.

But now he had his life back - no overshadowing threat, no galactic conflict. According to the medics he wouldn't be fit for active duty for quite a while, possibly never: his left leg had been nearly crushed and his bones, despite being reinforced had fractured along multiple lines. Even after eleven months of constant nano-therapy and treatment, he would have a limp. His implants wouldn't help much either, several having been fried. Miranda had stated that some might be replaceable, but since the majority had been installed "during reconstruction" last time, it wasn't feasible to have a full service, as it were.

Hackett had swung by again, with the topic of future work coming up - at this stage, even the Admiral wasn't certain, with politics still playing on his mind. Shepard could tell that the old man was conflicted: wanting the best for "The Galaxy saviour", but also recognising the deep political pain that Shepard could become as an unknown. The question had been shelved until his recovery was complete.

Shepard looked up as the door hissed open, revealing a rather tired looking Miranda. She managed a wan smile at him and, to his surprise, slumped down into a chair beside the bed.

"You working yourself to the bone there, Ms Lawson?"

"Some of us haven't had the luxury of a year long sleep, Shepard." Her voice was strained, but still had a lilt of humour there. The Commander took it in good faith, despite the tactless nature. He reached out and patted her shoulder.

"I haven't had the chance to say thank you, Miranda. Again."

The former Cerberus operative reached up and patted his hand.

"No need, Shepard. Frankly, your mother has more or less covered that base _and_ given me free reign on the ship. eve ori's on board. We're _safe_ Shepard. For the first time in years, we're _safe_. And we have you to thank. A little bit of necromancy is the least I could do."

Shepard arched an eyebrow at the term and chuckled.

"A few new hobbies picked up there Miranda?"

Lawson smiled and leaned back on the chair.

"You aren't the only casualty recovering on board and we all have to do something to pass the time. A bit of esoteric reading never hurt. Plus the rules appeal to my bitchy nature and dress sense."

Wow, two bits of humour in one conversation. She _had _made progress. Miranda saw his surprised by appreciative look and laughed.

"Good to see you smile, Shepard. I wanted to let you know - the Normandy is currently docking. Brace yourself for visitors."

She stood and squeezed his hand, before walking out of the room, heading on her rounds. Shepard managed to get through a few more news reports before the door hissed open again, revealing a familiar blue face.

The Shadow Broker tried to look defiance and righteous indignation, but couldn't stop the grin from splitting her face. Liara moved quickly to his bedside and enveloped Shepard in a tight hug. Over her shoulder he saw Kaidan Alenko enter, wearing his dress down gear, followed closely by James Vega, Joker and the chrome form of EDI. All were wearing shocked but relieved grins on their faces.

"Damn _loco_, who owes you favours that gets you out of a suicide mission _twice_?"

Vega's hug was crushing, barely giving him time to inhale as the Asari let him go.

"James.. not.. so… tight… ribs."

Vega released him with a laugh.

"Not so tough, eh Commander?"

"Well, you know, having the Citadel drop on you takes the wind out of your sails."

That got a chuckle. Alenko extended a hand by Shepard dragged him in for a hug too.

"Good to see you Kaidan. Commander now, eh? I hope the Normandy's treating you well."

"Well, sir, someone kept it in good shape. Thank god you're alive, though. Damn near tore us up."

That was a sobering moment, but Shepard didn't dwell, couldn't dwell. He nodded, swallowing the lump, then turned a smile on Joker. He extended a hand and shook Moreau's likewise proffered hand carefully. The Pilot was just shaking his head in disbelief, but seemed to have something on his mind.

"Commander I… I'm sorry. We got your team but. I should've done something else. Tried to take out Harbinger…"

"Joker - I'm alive. Everyone else is alive. The big metal cuttlefish is dead." Shepard smiled gently, trying to get the Pilot to relax, "Frankly, I'm just so damn happy that you guys are still kicking. I hope you're not letting him mope EDI."

The AI smiled, before stepping forward to hug Shepard.

"Joker has been testing the limits of my tolerance Commander. It has not given him time to 'mope', as you put it."

That comment left the room silent for a moment. Vega's snorting laugh broke the spell as Joker went bright red. EDI smirked, wrapping an arm gently around the pilot's waist.

"Wow, wait until the Geth get a handle on innuendo. So, not that you guys aren't enough, what about everyone else? Four winds, as I heard it. And what have you lot been doing?"

Liara pursed her lips and gave a small shrug. If she noticed his rather forced cheer she didn't let on.

"Wrex is nearly back on Tuchanka, along with Grunt, I believe - after repairing the Charon Relay, the fleets had a handle on how to "Quick fix", as I think you would put it. Most of the major systems are connected and the interim Council is already in the process of moving the Citadel back to the Widow system. What was left of it, of course. Quite an undertaking. But it's making everyone work together."

Her smile was rather smug. Shepard could have hazarded a guess that she was pulling strings to ensure that said co-operation continued. Alenko followed up, continuing the train of thought.

"We've just been keeping things in order in Sol and into the Traverse. Removing any unstable elements. Hell, we even had Batarians advising us on counter slaving operations. There's one for the history books."

Liara continued: "I spoke to Garrus a week ago; they're en route to Palaven, the Hierarchy is still intact. Rebuilding is underway already. As yet, he does not know you're up and about. Javik is… no longer with us."

Shepard nodded, his mouth twisting into a grimace. He couldn't blame the Prothean - out of his time, his destiny fulfilled.

"At least he got to see his enemy defeated, his race avenged. Small comfort."

Liara nodded, then tapped her lip.

"Samara, I believe, has been… busy. She took her leave after we… gave up on you."

The silence was awkward. Shepard forced a grin.

"Hey, even the Alliance didn't know who I was. Don't blame yourselves. A planet of millions - I'm one guy."

Liara's faced snapped up, her eyes hard. He hadn't seen them like that since… since Illium, just after he'd awoken the _first_ time.

"You are _far_ more than that John Shepard."

He held up a hand placatingly, noting with interest how Kaidan had moved around to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Joker was nodding in agreement, however.

"She's right Commander. You were the one who got us all through this."

Shepard let his head flop back and exhaled.

"Tell that to Hackett. I _wish_ I was just another guy, to be honest. By the sounds of it, I'm a political hand grenade waiting to happen."

He leaned forwards, resting his hands in his lap. Liara smiled wanly.

"Unfortunately yes, Shepard. For a little while at least. You are going to be _quite_ the focus. Everyone is settling down. You coming back will be a reminder. Of loss. And of hope."

Shepard breathed out heavily, shaking his head.

"Big stuff. And here was me thinking 'retirement' and 'beach house'. So, the others?"

Vega shrugged, "Zaeed, Goto and Jack the Tatt are still on Earth, keeping order around the refugee camps. And Sparks is probably on Rannoch planning that big ass wedding."

Shepard laughed, but stopped as he saw the faces around him. He tilted his head and frowned. Suddenly no one, not even EDI, seemed to want to meet his gaze. He felt his stomach tighten, his heart lurch. Liara was staring daggers at Vega, who had the look of a man who wanted the universe to forget the last ten seconds.

"What. Wedding?"


	3. Chapter 3 - The Masks We Wear

Numbness - until now he hadn't really considered it a proper emotion - he'd been stunned, yes; caught in shock. Concussed, even. But never _numb_. His friends all looked so_ concerned_. It almost made him cringe, except he couldn't really feel anything. It had been, for him, two weeks since the beam, since he'd pushed her onto the Normandy as she screamed his name, her blood on his hands. Two weeks since he'd resigned himself to the end.

But what did he expect?

_Live. Build that house._

He forced a smile onto his face and shook his head. The Commander was back in a moment and he managed to fold his hands in his lap, looking at each of them in turn, as if to reassure them that there was _nothing wrong at all_.

"Wow, what does a guy have to do to keep a girl these days? Used to be so easy - a diamond and some poetry!"

He managed to swallow and wave away Liara as she moved towards him, concern in her eyes.

"Shepard, I know it's a bit of a shock."

He managed to exhale, a brittle smile on his face.

"Yeah, but hey… you're all alive. We're moving on. Frankly, that counts as a win."

James took that moment to be his usual diplomatic self:

"About that _loco_... sir. What happened? One minute we're taking these _pendejo's_ down one freaking husk at a time, the next… man, you shoulda heard it. Screams, just loads. Not just from the husks - all frequencies. And then the Reapers… just exploded. Damn near tore themselves apart. Even saw a couple _firing _on each other. I mean… not that we're ungrateful, but what the hell happened?"

Shepard shifted gears, feeling his mental processes temporarily derail. He breathed heavily and covered his face with both hands, dragging them down before holding them together at his chin. He shook his head slowly.

"It's not… quite clear. One minute I'm there. At the Crucible. Anderson… Anderson was dead. You know that. But the Illusive Man was there too. I think… I think we spoke. And then he was dead. And then there was something else - another AI, something the Leviathan mentioned. But it wasn't. It was another trap. It gets fuzzy - I can't really remember. And then Harbinger did his…" Shepard puffed out his cheeks and managed a weak shrug, "_assuming direct control…_ and then he was dead. And I _think_ it was him being thrown into the beam that did it. I _think_. I mean, Alliance intel has spent the last two days quizzing me."

Liara looked thoughtful, even EDI was at a loss for an explanation. Joker snorted and raised an eyebrow.

"So, Commander, you fried the big guy and it mate the Overlords go kablooey? Man, you got one hell of a right hook!"

Shepard managed a chuckle at that. He could almost feel the tension lift in the room. _Let them have their peace. It's damn well earned. For most of us._ He leaned his head back against the bedrest.

"Think it was something to do with the beam - some sort of transmitter. That's all the Crucible was, in the end. Thing we forgot was the message to transmit. At the end I think it was another trap, something for us to waste our time on, to drain resources on a last ditch hope. If we activated it, if somehow we made it, it should've deactivated all the relays, shut down our ships or something. But by flinging a genuine Reaper gestalt in there? Well, the brass think that caused a feedback loop. Hell, it's all technical to me. Something about "Seeing themselves"."

The Commander shuddered - the memories of those trillions of screaming voices silenced, echoing in his mind. He lifted his head to look at the group.

"So, I'm due discharge in a couple of days - you guys hanging around? I mean, what's the sketch? Not like I exactly have anywhere to stay yet."

Kaidan grinned.

"Well, the XO's cabin on the Normandy is free."

Shepard managed a horrified look

"Oh man, you and Liara bunking? In my bed? Kaidan you are a wrong man."

"Don't worry sir, your ships haven't been traumatised…"

"Thank god…"

"Yeah, we boxed them up before that happened. Your fish, well… different story."

Liara slapped Kaidan's wrist, but she was grinning. She looked a lot like her old self now - able to really enjoy life. _Envy_. He pushed the thought aside, turning his grin on Vega.

"And you aren't the XO yet?"

"Nah, _loco_, groundside for me. Doing N7. Been assigned to the Major for final field test. S'cool. I mean, not saving the galaxy cool, but still."

"Yeah, thanks Vega, so glad you can tolerate our cruise liner."

"Hey boss, wasn't me who turned it into a pleasure cruise!"

Vega ducked back as Kaidan shot him a look, but they both grinned. Liara clucked her disapproval and shook her head. Joker managed a roll of his eyes.

"Kids, eh, commander?"

"Oh you can talk, Moreau."

"Yes, Jeff, I believe what you just enacted was vaguely hypocritical, as you have vouchsafed to me several times about the Normandy being akin to "an asari pleasure palace". Which, I think you will find, do not exist." She paused and tilted her head, "Or at least not outside of certain parts of Illium, which you will _not_ be visiting."

Vega winced.

"Ooo, whipped _amigo_, you just got _told_."

Kaidan shrugged and looked back at the Commander. Something was evidently bothering him still.

"So yeah, I think we all owe you an apology - the Normandy was stranded for five months, knocked through the Charon relay by the blast. We got picked up pretty quick, after the Relay was done. Held it together in the end. But when we got back…. well, we didn't know where… or what…"

"Kaidan. _Kaidan_. It's ok. We've been over this. Nothing more you guys could have done - even liara's network was damn near useless after the Crucible fired. Now, it's damn good to see everyone. But seriously, I'll need a place to crash - Imagine the place on the Citadel got utterly screwed. Alliance'll give me a prefab down on Earth if I ask but… I don't know. So, if I can get a lift I'd appreciate it."

Kaidan grinned and nodded.

"Citadel was beaten up, but your place, hell knows how, survived. Should've been a sign really. We'd be honoured, Commander."

Shepard smiled, waving a hand in mock-imperious dismissal

"Now, you guys, go grab a breather, give me a few, I'll join you in the lounge. Feels weird you all in my bedroom."

The group filed out, each unashamedly hugging him before leaving. Liara was the last to go, pausing to turn. Her face was all concern.

"Shepard… I know you well enough to know what's troubling you."

He fixed her with a stare and a smile. It was almost _almost _genuine.

"We won Liara. And we lived."

And it sounded like the most heartbreaking news ever. She swallowed, managed a faint smile and left. The door hissed shut. His head slumped.

"We won. And we died."

* * *

He'd emerged about 15 minutes later into the communal bar aboard the vessel. And as he walked in he was almost blown over by the cheer that washed over him - damn near all the vessel's crew was crammed into the two tier communal area. At the front, his crew, sat around a sunken sofa area, his mother among them. Hackett stood to one side with a few other senior officers. He managed a small smile.

The rest of that day was spent receiving back slaps and hand shakes, hugs and not a few propositions from both women and men amongst the crew. He retreated to his small cadre of friends, even managing a few beers. He joined in several songs and a few mournful dirges - the victory spirit still ran high: there was a lot to be relieved about.

Halfway through his omni-tool bleeped and he stepped to one side, a call coming through. He grinned as he saw the originator. He flicked the acknowledge button and was presented with a familiar silver-blue profile. The Turian on the other end was apparently talking to someone off screen whilst waiting for the call to connect.

"...imarch wants us to hold at the outer marker until we have confirmation. Now get on with it, I gotta see what the Shadow Broker pinged me an anonymous extranet address for - High priority my ass."

He saw the face turn, eyes filled with bored irritation. An emotion that drained when he saw the face on the other end.

"Liara has one sick sense of humour."

"Hi Garrus. Yes I'm in a bar, but no, I'm not looking down at you. I think my score is a bit higher than yours now."

"Spirits." Garrus was staring. But his mandibles flared into a grin quickly, "Hey, you can't count _all_ the Reapers. That's cheating!"

"And with one bullet. Top that Vakarian."

The Turian barked a laugh - a sounded that trilled on two-tone frequencies. And he could hear the genuine amusement there, as if a weight had been lifted, "Damn Shepard, I shouldn't be surprised. But another year? Tali's gonna be…. ah."

Shepard's face tensed, but he forced a grin,

"Yeah, I heard. But yeah, anyway, you? Palaven? Got tired of us trying to cook dextro?"

Garrus looked eager to move the conversation on, sliding his usual charm into gear.

"It's your beer. Too warm. And poisonous. And the Krogan were beginning to get all antsy without their females - we were starting to look attractive."

"Yeah, nice try Garrus. Vorcha I could believe, but I'd give the Krogan more taste."

"Ouch, low blow Shepard. At least throw a Hanar in there somewhere. Seriously though, damn. I am glad you pissed of heaven and hell. Thought I'd have to do this crap alone. Again. And we know how that turned out…"

"Turned out pretty well from where I'm standing Vakarian. Don't forget that. Anyway, I'm heading to the Citadel in a few days. Apparently. Let me know if you want to swing by. Relays reliable now?"

"We're getting there. Thank the spirits for Krogan strength and Quarian engineering. Asari and Salarians haven't been making friends," Garrus' face looked tired again, "It's getting ugly, but the Primarch is on side with Wrex. At least the blue bitches and the reptiles won't get to come out swinging."

Shepard was jolted by the bitterness in his friends voice.

"Jeez, what did I miss? I got the potted history from Hackett…"

"Yeah, well, the Council. What's left of the administration - the Asari and Salarians want it back as-was. The Turians… well, we've had a change of heart. Amazing what happens when you see your historical nemesis take a few bullets for your family. Changes perspective. The Quarians, well… they're quite the little power bloc now. And they seem to have a bit of a grudge. The Council doesn't have the punch anymore - STG can't move beyond Sur'kesh, their relay is still being monitored. The Asari… well, they were hit bad. It's all changed Shepard."

The Turian brightened.

"And now I get to share all this crap with you. Again," he chuckled as he saw the Commander's expression, "Kidding, kidding. It's going to be a weird few years, Shep. Anyway, the Citadel…?"

The question he left hanging - the "You're sure about this" unspoken and unnecessary. Shepard shrugged and nodded.

"Good a place as any. Earth is… getting there. The Citadel I may as well face now. Get it done. Then we'll see. Gotta try to catch up with the others, get some… closure, perhaps. Think what happens next."

"Back to Spectre-ing?"

"Not sure, leg's pretty bust up. First things first - drinks, then career plan. Think I've earned some vacation, don't you?"

"Hell. Yes. Good to see you Shepard. Damn _damn _good. I'll comm when I get away from this bureaucratic stuff and I'm en route. I owe you that drink."

He felt a little bit humbled as Garrus flung up a genuine human salute, entirely seriously. He grinned, causing the Turian to snort, wink and the terminate the call. Shepard turned and re-joined the party, accepting another drink, another handshake and more welcomes than he knew what to do with. For now the world was a place of fun, relief and the _now_.

The night would bring the future and the fears. But for now, it was peace.

* * *

"You're sure I can't persuade you to stay?"

Hackett looked almost pensive - Shepard didn't envy the man. He looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. In a way, it was. Humanity's interim government, formed of a hodge-podge of Alliance officers, national politicians and the remnants of the Alliance Parliament. The Sol rebuild was paramount, with London being the shining beacon of hope for a blasted planet. Looking down on the world below he could see the vast bushfires still burning across the Amazon, the grey ash clouds covering most of Asia and Europe. They would rebuild but it would take time. There was still hope. And whilst his presence _might_ be a popularity boon, or some sort of morale boost, he just needed to get away.

"I think you'll find the politicians will be easier to handle without me, sir. As you said: I'm a reminder. And I would like to take some of that leave I've accrued. As long as I'm free to go. Last time I distinctly remember being under house arrest."

Hackett chuckled and held up a hand in defeat.

"Consider yourself thoroughly exonerated, pardoned and free to go, Shepard. Oh and it's not 'Sir' anymore. Thought I'd let the shock settle first. Parliament might be nervy of you; hell, I'm getting nervy of you." The grin widened as Hackett shrugged, "Shepard, you're a man who has died twice now. I don't want to be on your bad side. Anyway, the politicians are keen to recognise your achievements and I think get some support. As I said, not Sir anymore - you're Admiral Shepard now."

Shepard goggled, his face a mixture of surprise, shock and a slight hint of terror. Hackett grinned wider, but quickly pushed the expression aside.

"Don't worry Shepard, we won't be forcing you on fleet manoeuvres - it's more an honorific anyway. Pension, the medical plan. The perks. Alliance is cutting you some major slack - you're a big hitter politically and no one in the establishment wants to piss you off," he looked out of the viewport as a the dreadnaught drifted past a ruptured Reaper corpse, "Can't think why…"

Shepard leaned heavily against the bed and blinked. He managed a breathless laugh and shook his head. "Well si-... well, I'm honoured _Steven_." He managed a grin of his own as Hackett shot him a look, but it was a lot more relaxed than he'd expected, "Anyway, this is just leave. I need to check in, tie up loose ends. See how my Spectre status impacts anything, if it still does. If there's still a Spectre status to have. Council looks in trouble."

He ran a hand through his slowly thickening hair seeing Hackett's expression turn grim. The older Admiral shrugged.

"The Alliance will hold firm. We've already had a few asylum requests - Batarians, Salarians, Asari. They can see which way the wind is blowing, Shepard. There may be a reckoning coming. We weathered the Reapers, now we just have to steer cooler heads. I don't want to ask you to take that on - this is for politicians now, unfortunately. And I think you've earned the rest. Speaking of politicians, I need to go tell them you'll be leaving in the AM. Congratulations _Admiral_ Shepard and enjoy your leave. We'll have plenty of paperwork for you later."

Hackett chuckled as Shepard groaned, breaking out a snap of a salute which the former Commander returned just as sharply, even with a bit of a mock glare in his eyes. Admiral Hackett turned and left the med-room nodding to a familiar figure who strode in, a new set of dress blues slung over an arm. Shepard grinned.

"Admiral Shepard."

"Admiral Shepard."

His mother tutted and gently laid the blues down on the bed before offering a salute to her son. As his arm dropped she almost yanked him to her.

"Your father would be so damn proud of you John. I am so goddamn proud of you." She leaned back, her hands gripped his biceps, "You'll be Fleet Admiral before me. Can't be having that. I mean you already outrank me, it's _embarrassing," _She ran a hand over the new blues and turned her green eyes on him, "You're definitely going?"

"I have to mom. Got to face those demons, get them out of the way. And I think a mom supersedes any military ranking structure."

"Hmm, quite. And what aren't you telling me John? _Just_ those demons?"

He shifted uncomfortably and massaged the back of his neck, the sigh breaking from his lips heavy and full of pent up meaning.

"There's other things. So many other things. I don't know where to start. I mean, I'm alive. But… now what? I sound like a teenager - I watched my squad die on Akuze, I kept going. I saw Eden Prime burn, I kept going. I watched Ashley Williams die in nuclear fire and I kept going. I died, I kept going. I survived a suicide mission, killed a Reaper, destroyed a relay and I _kept going_. And now, well, with so much blood and so much lost… we won. I don't know what the next step is."

His eyes had glazed over and he shook himself from his reverie. A lump formed in his throat.

"Truth is, I had something to fight for in the end. But things have changed. I have to change with that. I just need… time," he held up a hand, "I know, it's been eleven months, damn near twelve now. But for me… it's been two weeks, if that. We never really had much time to talk, mom. It's difficult for me to really explain this."

"You need to breathe, have some time ashore. Without orders. Near the mark? How d'you think I felt after I first met your father? After he died? No where near as much pressure, I know…" he reached out and gripped her hand, squeezing it reassuringly: they both missed his father - his death. The fact that he had been hospitalised after Akuze and hadn't been there at Torfan had weighed heavily on him for a long time. It had weighed on both of them, but they'd gotten through.

"No Mom. Loss is loss. But," he let out a shuddering breath, "yeah, you're right, as usual. I just need to have some space. Travel without a mission, maybe. See what this life without an objective marker is all about."

Hannah pulled him in for another tight hug, then released him with a nod.

"Well, you deserve it John. But first things first. Admiral blues on, press conference. And then vacation. I'm taking the Orizba to the Citadel in two weeks to take over sentinel duties from the Turian Auxilliary fleet. They volunteered, but some of the Turians haven't seen Palaven for over a year. We were at least in orbit around our home. And then I need to make sure your administration is up to par, checking pipes for dust, bedsheets ironed. Can't have you getting sloppy just because you outrank me, young man."

She arched an eyebrow at his huff and mock salute.

"Yes ma'am. Hell, I'll even show you some of my favourite stores on the citadel… If they're still standing. So, vacation, blues, press conference?"

"John Shepard…"

"Ok, ok...I know an order when I hear it, Rear Admiral."

"Don't think you're too big for a reckoning young man."

Chuckling, he waved her out of the room and slowly started the arduous process of putting a half-lame leg into too-tight dress trousers.


	4. Chapter 4 - Home Truths

**(A little shorter, but I decided to split this one and the next to give them more identity as chapters - Shepard at work, as it were. I've tried to keep Shepard's oratory abilities intact [a la the trial on the flotilla] whilst also showing him to be really be invested in what happened. As always, let me know your thoughts!)**

The conference was a small affair - no vaulted ceiling here, just the cavernous shuttle bay of the dreadnaught. The press corps was pretty diverse - mainly humans, but at least two Asari, a salarian, Turian and even a Drell. And Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani. Shepard met her eyes and nodded cordially at her. She managed a wan smile back at him. Last time they'd met they had reached an accord of sorts. Never quite eye to eye, but never as brutal as some more seedy tabloids would have you believe. His appearance had caused a brief chatter amongst the journalists, as well as a few flashes from camera drones and omni-tool scans. So, that was cover thoroughly blown then.

He managed a quick glance around the room as a whole: an effort had been made - banners representing all the Council races were draped from the lifting cranes; the crew were lined up at the edges of the room in full dress uniform; the chairs were neatly laid out and over to one side there was a modest buffet for post-conference relief. And to provide ample opportunity for ambush by zealous reporters.

He listened as Hackett delivered the standard welcome, a quick update on the state of affairs - the trials ahead; the importance of _coming together_, what had already been achieved. Old platitudes, but important ones. _The galactic family_. He squeezed his eyes shut at that, stomach lurching, memories roiling for a moment. A cliff, a dusky sky and red sands, Hope - as if it was yesterday but now so very long ago.

And then his name. He started suddenly, the rank an unfamiliar addition. A gentle pressure on his hand brought him back to the present. He glanced and saw his mother nod. Standing carefully, he leaned against the cane he had been issued - his left leg still in a bad way - and took several deliberate and slow steps to the podium.

What to say? He'd been briefed: simple, to the point. The truth, as much as that was possible, Try not to rock the boat, he supposed.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is a pleasure, a privilege and a relief to be standing in front of you now." His eyes surveyed the room, only really recognising Al Jilani - no Emily Wong it would seem. A casualty? Likely. Another friend lost to a hideous and senseless war. He steeled himself and persevered, "I'll try not to repeat what Admiral Hackett has said. It's been nearly a year and I'm sure you've heard it all before. It bears repeating, though: we faced an enemy far _far_ beyond anything our societies have ever faced. We came through it. _You_ came through it. We have lost much. _So much_. But we are still here. And although I've only been up on my feet a few days, I can say I am proud to be part of the galaxy again. My regret is that I wasn't able to help. Yes?"

He pointed at a Turian in the front row. The man rose, his mandibles twitching in what Shepard recognised as the preamble to a question. The man's two-toned voice was higher pitched than Garrus' indicating a Turian just out of his juvenile phase.

"Admiral, it's clear that you are among the living again, but why the year long absence?"

"Injury. From what I was told, I was lost in the medical triage chain, listed as MIA and eventually KIA: that's missing in action and killed in action for those of you not yet quite up with the military speak."

The Turian nodded and sat down - a straightforward answer, like his audience would most likely demand. Another hand was raised; Shepard nodded to the questioner, an Asari. She gave him a cool look and raised her Omni tool to record.

"_Commander_, I hope you don't mind me calling you that, it's what we all remember, what exactly _happened_ during that final push?"

He managed to bite back the retort - it would have been out of character. And the rank was almost like his first name these days. Shepard managed a smile, but he morphed it into a vaguely confused expression.

"To be honest ma'am, sorry, I didn't _your_ name, it's very blurry. I remember heading onto the Citadel and triggering the device designated the Crucible. I am sure you haven't asked every soldier for a blow by blow recount of every fire fight that day?"

"Do you feel the number of soldiers committed to the assault in Lon-Don was a worthwhile tactical risk?"

He studied her for a moment and nodded slowly.

"It was our only viable course of action - as I am sure the freely available reports show, as well as witness testimonies, an assault on the Citadel directly would have led to an increase in casualties by 43.5% I remember the number because the Geth are _very_ precise on these things. A ground assault, it was decided, was the best method to both assist a very drained defence force and to prevent Reaper forces from reinforcing…"

"But don't you think you owe it to the families of those men and women to provide a more detailed account of what they were sacrifice-"

"That is enough!"

Shepard was shocked that it hadn't been him that had spoken. He was more shocked that it was Al Jilani who had rocketed to her feet. She fixed the Asari with a steel glare.

"Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund News. And don't you _dare_ insinuate that the _Admiral_ did anything less than necessary. I have given that man the _hardest_ time I can and not once, not _once_ did he demand anything. Shame on you, shame on all of you. Because of _him_ you're able to stand there all blue and smug."

Shepard coughed lightly and smiled at the zealous reporter. He managed a thankful nod, and then fixed his gaze on the vaguely stunned Asari.

"From what I understand, the final tally for casualties in London during Hammer's assault stands at 650,000 _estimated_. That includes Krogan, Turian, Quarian, Asari, Elcor, Volus, Salarian Free Volunteers and human, as well as other unaffiliated races. Everyone knew the choice here: die on your back, die mad under the Reapers, die with a gun in your hand or live with a gun in your hand. That doesn't include casualties inflicted during the occupation of Earth. Or the occupation of Thessia. Or Palaven. I believe that tally still hasn't been tabulated but sits somewhere in the low billions. Now, if I could bring _every damn one of them back_ by dying myself, I would, by the gods I would. But if you want to talk about debts, then every family still alive out there owes that to those men and women. Me, I was just the lucky sap who made it through. Me and Admiral Anderson, who died in the execution of his duty."

Shepard took a shuddering breath and loosened his grip on the podium. He watched the Asari sit down, cowed by the expressions of her fellows. A Salarian stood next and cleared his throat.

"Admiral, what do you have to say to those commentators that would accuse you of genocide?"

The question caught him off guard.

"Genocide? You'll have to forgive me, I am not quite up to date on the latest political ball games."

"Simply that some aspects of the community believe that by eliminating the Reapers you utterly denied any chance to rehabilitate the huskified victims of their assault; indeed, by wiping out a major synthetic _species_ you condone such actions. If, as rumours would indicate, the Reapers are, or were, the collective cultural remnants of previous species, you are in fact guilty of destroying entire histories, a great cultural crime."

Another shocker. Shepard was impressed and yet also utterly taken aback. He rallied, however - you don't talk down a giant ageless metal monster by being easily flustered. By women, yes, space monsters no. And _definitely_ not by journalists.

"All I can say to that is that I will face my detractors, if indeed there are any and that I will submit myself to any recognisable court that wishes to make the claim that eliminating an implacable, unknowable threat was a war crime. Sir, if I may be so bold, I would state that you are talking out of your _cloacae_." A delightful phrase from Kirrahe, and one which caused the Salarian to blink in surprise, "We were faced with an enemy that brainwashed it's victims, liquefied prisoners and offered no surrender, only subjugation. I would like to apologise if you, sorry, _members of the community_ were denied the privilege of becoming part of a genetic soup encased in alien metals, forced to relieve their dying moment for eternity."

The nervous laugh that rippled round the room barely defused the tension. Shepard pressed on, his voice clear, but low, almost a monotone.

"However, I and all those who served with me had been charged with saving as many innocent lives as possible. I would like to point out that the Reapers had signed no treaties, were subject to no galactic law, nor chose to engage in dialogue. I would also like to remind you, _sir_, that I was given explicit instructions from the Council and no less than nine leaders of various political power blocs to do my utmost to trigger the device that was seen as a "last ditch effort". We did not know if it would merely scare them off, fire some Chinese cookies at them or fry them to within an inch of their lives. And, frankly, having seen what a Reaper is like on the inside, I feel that what I did was a _mercy_ on those poor souls who fell before us. I am glad that we have the ability to ask questions like that."

He looked at the crowd and managed a friendly smile that _just_ avoided being a rictus.

"We are alive. So many are not, but it dishonours them to not do our utmost to cherish that we are still here and able to ask inane, thoughtless, questions, to debate morality. It's what me and mine are here for. Thank you ladies and gentlemen; I feel that I have said enough. I believe the Admiral and his staff will take further questions during the hosting event."

He pushed himself away from the podium and grasped at the cane. He limped back towards his chair as the reporters thundered into more questions behind him, quelled only by Hackett damn near shouting them down. He slumped heavily into the seat, clenching his teeth as pain hissed through his damaged knee. His mother's concerned face turned to him but he managed to shake his head, to keep her seated for a moment. He managed a tight smile.

"I think that went well."

"Fox. Chicken coop. I'm sure there're a few other analogies. But yes, quite a few noses out of joint I wouldn't warrant. But also records straightened. Well done John."

"Thank you Admiral."

A short summary and then came the tedious one-on-ones, the round of buffet drinks and finger food. He maintained polite conversation, but the various Alliance chaperones kept the majority of journalists at bay. Only Al Jilani got through. She held out a hand, chin tilted up. Shepard took it and pulled her into a hug, clearly startling the woman and a few other bystanders. He released her a moment later and nodded.

"Keep pushing as, Khalisah. Kept making sure we do the right thing for the right reasons. And before I forget - it's good that you're still with us."

She blinked, clearly slightly dazed. The reporter gave him a smile.

"You too, Admiral Shepard. You too."


	5. Chapter 5 - Cause and Effect

The rest of the afternoon had passed uneventfully, with the press dispersing after only an hour. He'd managed to get away with only a couple of statements and an apology from the Asari journalist. He had had the good grace to accept without snapping, which had surprised him. Now, however, he was moving to a much more pleasant duty. He stood in front of the airlock, his heart thundering in his chest. _Just like yesterday_. He remembered the first time seeing her - Joker leaning nonchalantly against a Cerberus bulkhead, a smug look on his face. He could see the sleek shape stretching out, visible through the portholes nearby.

"Ready?" His mother's voice was cool and collected, ever the admiral. He glanced at her and smiled, looking past her to Miranda, who had insisted on joining him on this. Her exact words had been _Someone has to brief Chakwas and make sure you don't jump into another suicide mission_. He gave her a nod and turned back to the door, shifting the grip on the cane in his left hand. Part of him resented it, never really liking that he had to rely on external support - he'd always prided himself on his resilience. However, Miranda had pointed out his reliance on a team, which was similar. He had shot back that he couldn't upgrade the cane's sidearm or engage it in an interesting debate on the ethics of history.

And yet it was a comfort as well, a tacit reminder that he was here. The pressure against his palm, the feel of support. He'd have preferred another type, but that thought was pushed to the dark place at the back of his mind. Something to deal with later, something to plan about when he could think clearly and in peace. Or something he could ignore and hopefully never have to address again.

He let out a shuddering breath and felt Hannah's hand on his shoulder. She thought he was worried about _this_. If only it were that simple. Eyes locked straight ahead, he adjusted the new Admiral's cap atop his head and stepped forwards as the airlock slid upwards.

A two tone whistle announced his arrival, followed by an accented voice bellowing:

"Admiral on Deck - Company, 'ten-SHUN. _Pre-_sent ARMS."

He stepped through as dozens of feet clanked against deck plating. As he entered the corridor behind the cockpit he couldn't help but smile. Crew lined the thoroughfare all stood at rigid attention, their hands raised in salute. In front of him Vega grinned lazily, arm raised in salute, his dress blues clearly under a lot of strain over the man's ridiculous bulk.

"Ship ready for inspection, _sir_."

Shepard leaned slightly on his right leg and pulled the cane under his left arm, like a baton of old, before slamming a crisp salute of his own.

"Thank you Lieutenant Commander. Please, stand the men easy. The Captain?"

"Captain Alenko is in the CIC ready to brief you, sir. An honour to have you aboard."

"You're loving this aren't you."

"Hey, not every day you get to make the great Com-_Admiral_ Shepard get all dressed up. Not in my usual day-plan, _loco_." Grinning, James presented another salute, returned by Shepard, before turning smartly to the crew. "At EASE! Stand _easy_."

The hands dropped, the crew slammed to at an ease pose and relaxed. Shepard nodded, satisfied then peered into the cockpit at a still-seated Joker, EDI sat in the co-pilot's seat. The pilot braced up in his chair and nodded.

"Welcome aboard, sir. Hope you don't mind if I don't stand, might take a while."

He chuckled - Joker was actually a little embarrassed!

"Stand, or rather _sit_ easy, Joker. Ignore the gold braid, never was much one for formality, you know that. Good to be back aboard. She still handling well, or is she now too much for a now average Alliance pilot.

"Ooooh them's fighting words Co- Admiral. God dammit sir, not fair. I'd break my hand _and_ get tossed in the brig." Joker chuckled, "Still handles like a dream… the ship too!"

EDI looked across at him sharply. Shepard snorted and turned away to avoid further shocks.

"Carry on… or rather, wait until I'm out of earshot _please_."

He heard Miranda greeting the pilot behind him, their old formality long lost - there was the hint of a teasing note in her voice now when she spoke. He proceeded down the concourse away from the cockpit, towards the CIC, cane clicking against the deck plating. He nodded at every crew member, spared a word, a thank you, a hand-shake, until he reached the large holographic map. Kaidan Alenko came to attention and performed a crisp salute: Shepard was getting bored of this now. He returned it with a mock-steel glare at the Captain..

"Don't tell me you're going to pull this official crap too?"

"Only for the Camera's sir. I see Al Jilani is accompanying us."

"We've come to an accord. You'll probably get the reruns later on ANN," he looked around at the crew and nodded, "Thanks for this, Kaidan. I mean that."

"Ready to say a few words?"

"When am I not?"

"Point taken. Talking my damn ear off to get me to explain about BAaT down in the mess. Don't know how I handled that boss."

"Mental scarring, deep denial and a pathological urge to outdo me? Well done on that by the way."

Kaidan chuckled and gestured to the podium of the CIC, which raised over the holographic image of the Normandy and starmap. He hobbled onto it, watching as the crew filed in to listen. There'd be a few at duty station in engineering and the cargo bay, but most were here. Regardless, he keyed the shipboard PA system.

"Ladies, Gentlemen… Vega. It is an _honour_ to be back here again. This is going to be the second speech I've done today, but this one is for me. Selfish, maybe, but I wanted to say thank you to all of you. Each and every one. You have given so much and you continue to give. I am proud to have served with you and damn proud to be allowed back on board, considering the crap you put up with in the past!"

That got a couple of cheers and some laughs. He waited for them to subside and look across the room.

"I heard about your little Gilligan's island period, lost in the wilderness. I cannot imagine how that must've been. The fact you all held together, pushed through and brought this hunk of rust home is a miracle and a blessing. Everyone sacrificed so much, but for me The Normandy and her crew have _always_ led from the front, always survived the odds. You are the reason I'm still here, getting me through stuff that should've killed my team and I over and over again. And if there are gods out there, ones _not_ interested in galactic obliteration, then I want to thank them letting me get back to just say _thank you_. Now," here he removed the cap from his head and leaned against the railing as the applause rattle dutifully along; he swore he could see a couple of the crew sniffing, even Specialist Traynor, her mock sarcastic facade cracking a little, "I distinctly remembering there being a bar aboard. Rear Admiral Shepard has advised me that her crew will be overseeing duties for the rest of the day aboard ship. Who wants a beer?"

The cheering and applause could be heard all the way down in engineering.

* * *

Shepard roared with laughter and slapped his leg, which caused him to go wide eyed with pain, which just got more laughter from the crew, Chakwas included.

"And then you said 'but why _four_?'" Donnelly elaborated, as Gabriella glowered. She smacked his chest as the Scottish engineer draped an arm around her.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that he was talking about… those. And I didn't expect that to mean it was a proposition!"

Shepard wheezed, wiping his eyes. He prodded Donnelly.

"So, you were all ready to jump in and defend her honour?"

"Oh aye, totally. Would've brought the scaly bugger some ryncol first for being brave though!"

Another smack, but he just kissed Gabby's forehead. She blushed and muttered something under her breath. But she was smiling.

"I see your point. See what you missed out on Adams - young love, blossoming against adversity…" he watched the elder engineer roll his eyes, swigging from a bottle.

"A horny Krogan and a tattooed psychopath…" elaborated Gabby, with mock nostalgia. She glared at Donnelly and grinned wickedly, "'Course there was that time Jack managed to…"

"Ah! No, we dinnae need to go _there_ - Ah've still got the scars from the cloth burn."

Shepard pushed himself to his feet and wobbled. He grinned as he steadied himself, waving away their concerns.

"Look, just because I had the Citadel drop on me _doesn't_ mean you lot to treat me like I'm a glass statue. Now, enjoy, I need a top up."

He limped to the bar and eased himself into a seat, nodding gratefully as Gardner passed him a beer. The cool alcohol was a welcome respite, a chance to to wallow in a _good moment_ with no concerns. Before, any socialising had been done against a backdrop of war, or imminent destruction - moments of peace snatched against chaos. That always lent a sense of manic desperation to proceedings; or at least a "throw your arms in the air" kind of dance. Now, though, in this place aboard what had once been his ship? Now it was a sense of peace, of family and friends. He smiled as Miranda chatted animatedly to Traynor, the woman utterly oblivious to the stare and rapt attention the British Specialist was giving her. Or maybe she was. He noticed Miranda's thigh brush Samantha's knee a couple of times and she was certainly _orienting _herself against the light.

"Admiring the view sir?" He glanced up at Kaidan's wolfish grin as the Captain eased down into a stool next to him.

"It's like watching a hunter and prey playing out. Can't decide which is which though."

"Things do change. Why isn't she staying on Earth? Thought she had a sister."

"Apparently Oriana is helping in a refugee camp in Sydney. Plenty of security, lots of resources and the promise of Miranda's wrath should any harm come to the girl. She's got a couple of Krogan guards. But really, not much to protect against down there - the odd separatist or fanatic, maybe some husk remnants, shielded from the transmission." Shepard took a swig and saw Kaidan shift, "Something on your mind?"

"Do you think there're any left, Shepard? Any that survived?"

The Admiral shrugged, "We killed most of them. Sovereign was just one and we killed it with an unoptimised fleet. Now… now we know what to look for. But I don't think the _ships_ are left. Maybe an enclave of indoctrinated. Maybe some husks, or a destroyer, lost and alone. But so long as we hold together, no… they're gone." Kaidan nodded, seemingly reassured. Shepard patted his arm, "And if something does emerge, something does come back from the dark… we beat the damn fleets at the height of their power. They aren't invincible. And they know we know that. Any that are left… are insane and trapped."

He saw the man's curious expression and suddenly he felt the urge to change the subject, to avoid those memories, that light _the voices_.

"Kaidan, I want to thank you. I know this is damn near borderline me coming aboard. Feels like I'm taking over. Appropriating your ship for a lift."

"I feel the same," Shepard jolted slightly, but raised an eyebrow, relaxing as Kadian chuckled, "How d'you think I felt when I took command after you were… gone? Felt like I was wearing someone else's clothes, someone else's skin. Still do to an extent. This will always be _your_ home Shepard, as much as any of us. So, don't feel bad. You've even got your cabin for the trip. _And_ we cleaned the sheets for you, boss. So, thanks are unnecessary. For pulling our asses out of the fire, for having our backs… a lift is the least we can do." He took a swig, "It's why we're also giving you some beer and food. I think that makes us even."

Across the room, Traynor was glassy eyed as Miranda had leaned in to whisper something in her ear, hand on the woman's knee. The former Cerberus operative had pulled away with a grin, before damn near gliding across the room to talk to someone else, before vanishing out of the room. The Specialist had smoothed her shirt nodded to herself, looked around and positively _sprinted_ from the room. The pair of officers chuckled. Shepard raised his bottle and clinked it against Kaidan's.

"I'll drink to that."

* * *

_A tower of blue-veined skulls. It moved, becoming a walking spire of tendrils. Each skull fixed their three-socketed gaze upon his face. They screamed - a deep, blaring horn of a noise, undulating with higher pitched tones. Blood oozed from the walking monstrosity, bubbling beneath its hulking form. It strode forwards, smashing against indistinct towers. dissolving shadowy figures beneath it with another echoing shrieking bellow._

_He staggered under the onslaught. He tried to run, but his feet were bogged down amongst a pile of dessicated corpses. The face of a collector oozed to the surface of the pile, a chitinous hand grasping at his wrist. Another bellow dragged his panicked gaze upwards. A tendril closed down on him, threatening to crush him. As it drew inexorably nearer, the tower of death roared again, a reverberating sound; the skulls at the tentacle's tip drew apart, revealing a shatter, purple visor…_

He shot awake, sucking in deep, ragged breaths, the pistol clutched in his hand, pointing at the door. There was nothing there. The room was dark bathed in a blue glow from the fish tank, still fully populated. _They kept the fish_ he'd thought as he had staggered, limping unsteadily, back into his old cabin.

But there was still a noise - not a bellow, but an insistent _beeping_. He saw the orange light of his, no _Kaidan's,_ personal terminal flashing. Though it probably wasn't his place, he got to his feet, planting bare skin against deck plating. Carefully he edge along the bed, using the coffee table, then the pillar of the display case to ease his aching form up to the raised office area. Dully, he realised the pistol was still in his hand, but he seemed unable let go of it. Surely Kaidan would've rerouted all messages? Or Liara would at the very least. Which meant it was likely for him.

He keyed the acknowledge button, noticing that his hand was shaking as he pressed the button. He was still staring at it as the voice emerged from the speakers.

"You complete _bosh'tet."_

His gaze whipped up, meeting a purple visor and slitted silver eyes. She was shaking herself. He could tell. Not quite as much as him. He saw her pause, evidently taking him in. But whereas before her next question would've radiated concern, now her voice was clipped and angry.

"A year. You ran off and left me and now you waltz back after a year, you selfish _selfish_ man. Have a nice time? Get some Asari pregnant?"

He had _never_ seen her like this. Now he saw her he could take in more detail - her once loose purple cloth was now a tight wrap, darker in hue, nearly black. Her suit, as she leaned back, was more military now - Admiral markings, utility straps more uniform across her chest, armour as well it looked like.

"Coma,." he managed to breath out.

"How _convenient_."

He shook his head and frowned, utterly utterly lost. And angry as well.

"Yes, well, dropping off an exploding space station kind of ruined my day."

"Really? It fucking ruined my _life_ you inconsiderate human."

"What?"

"And now you're back, waltzing back like some conquering hero. You selfish ass."

He ran a hand through his hair, feeling his fingers come away wet with perspiration. A _really_ bad dream then. His thoughts were fogged by fear, stress and not a little bit of alcohol.

"Well, can't have been that bad. I hear congratulations are in order."

He saw her stiffen, her helmeted head tilting in what he knew was her "Oh now I'm _pissed_" face. He felt a little twinge of bitter victory there.

"_Yes_. And at least he hasn't abandoned me when I needed him. Someone I can actually build a future with." She practically spat the words at him. He leaned back slowly, the death grip on the pistol somehow _tightening_. He heard it scrape across the desk. Now she saw him properly, not the fuzzy ill-lit version, hunched over a terminal. She saw the etches on his face, the still-present exhaustion, the tracery of scars and still-not-healed stitches. The clear shine of sweat on his form. And the pistol. The twisted head straightened, clearly confused and, for a moment, she tilted forwards, concerned. He saw her hands drift together briefly, before she forced them out of view. He snorted, suddenly more tired than he'd ever felt.

"I'm glad it was a quick resolution for you. Let me know where to send the card. Good night Admiral Tali'Zorah."

He punched the disconnect button, cutting off her retort, then keyed in a block on incoming calls.

Only now did he realise his breathing was sharp and shallow. He forced himself to relax, a trick he'd learned during N7 training, during those long sniper assessments. But it didn't work. He staggered to his feet, vision blurring. He stumbled, falling against the cabin door. With a yell he launched the pistol at the model display, shattering the glass. With a choke he slid down the door and sagged, dry heaving for tears that wouldn't _couldn't _come.

* * *

After what seemed hours, he pushed himself to his feet. Like a man on autopilot he limped to the storage locker and pulled out a set of slacks from his meagre pile, as well as a shirt. He glanced at the time display - only ten minutes since she'd called. Wow.

He lurched through his door, onto the elevator, barely noticing the descent. He stumbled out on the crew deck, eyes fixed on the lounge. A few crew were slumped in the mess hall, he could hear their snores. He felt a hand grip his bicep and he turned, a snarl on his face. He met a calm stare from a serene blue face. She nodded slightly and pursed her lips in sympathy. He could see Kaidan lingering behind her, shorts and tee his only garb. He managed to make a couple of connections.

"I see I'm not the only one getting late night calls."

"I'm sorry Shepard. I am not sure what happened. Communication links are very tight, we barely had comms with Rannoch. But what you're about to do is… not the right course."

He managed a shrug, but it felt forced.

"Seems like a good fallback. It's how she handled her issues once. Learn from the master, maybe?"

Liara gripped his shoulders. Slowly she shook her head. Her eyes were softer now, soft like they used to be before all _this_. Before war had robbed them all of the wondrous ignorance and innocence. He buckled and sagged, near impacting the deck. He saw Kaidan moved, but pause as Liara held up a hand. His shoulders shook as suddenly, the weight of _everything_ came home to rest. Arms enveloped him, as he breathed raggedly into a shoulder, the grief too big to bear not allowing him release.

"All dead. All dead. And no matter what I did we all _lost_. And I can't bring them _back_. Pressely, Javik, Anderson, _Williams_. All those people on Earth and Tuchanka and Thessia. And now… now Tali. Is there nothing _nothing_ I can make that lasts? That isn't _tainted, ruined, destroyed?"_

He clutched at her, felt her rise and pull him up with her. Other arms gripped him, Kaidan helping him. They limped to the XO's cabin, where he was sat against a sofa. His friends hovered nearby, then sat down near him. Kaidan ran a hand through his sleep-ruffled hair, looking at his clearly broken former Commander. Through it all he'd never seen the man break, never seen him really falter. He had let the man down once before. Not again. He leaned forwards, resting his arms on knees.

"I think we better explain what happened on our… Gilligan island."

Even through the haze of despair and pent up grief and loss, Shepard managed a weak chuckle. Liara massaged Shepard's hand across the small table. Only now did the commander note how the place had been redesigned into more of a living space, rather than an office. Always picking up the little things. Stops the big things getting in the way. He took a shuddering breath, must've been the fiftieth that evening and leaned back, nodding. His mind was a jumble, but he marshalled himself, shoring up his old blocks; but now he knew they were so so fragile.

"Right. Let's do this."


	6. Chapter 6 - Repercussions

**OK that was cruel of me. And a really rather deep moment. Unfortunately, you don't go through harrowing events, near death comas and the loss of a loved one with only a smirk and a doffed cap. PTSD a bit? But Shepard is a fighter. Down, not out. Keep the helpful feedback coming guys – thanks to Nightstride for pointing out Kaidan's rank – Major (Equivalent to Captain aboard ship). ME3 he is a Major, but I've decided to go with Captain for when they're on the Normandy (Kinda like the Quarians referring to Shepard as "Captain" on the Flotilla.) Once all this is done, I'll do a major blitze before marking as "Complete".**

**We've got perhaps another 3 plot chapters, depending on how much I can squeeze in, as I don't want to just keep you guys hanging with "Shepard's conga of daily chores and tribulations".**

* * *

_She had screamed all the way to the med bay. Garrus had practically been holding her together, the shrapnel having shredded her suit. It had taken Liara and Kaidan to hold her down, as she had tried to scramble for the hangar doors. The sedative administered by Chakwas had reduced her thrashing to mild, twitching spasms. Her screams had becoming whimpered sobs. And she still struggled to get away. Garrus had watched as the Normandy roared away from battle, seen the slight figure hit by the bea, bowed his head and offer prayers for swift passage to the spirits. His heart had been heavy as he staggered to the med bay. She had lain there, silent, not looking at him. They had sat in silence, hearing the general alert sound as the Admiral announced that the Crucible was firing. She had looked up then, hope apparent. And then the ship had lurched, alarms blaring._

_They had found themselves on a marked, but unmapped garden world. Their comms had been on and they were only able to receive traffic. News had been scant for the first week, even rarer after that. Tali had been on her feet after two, once the fever had subsided. She busied herself in the engine bay, becoming withdrawn, utterly focused on getting the ship repaired._

_And then Traynor had, in stunned shock, announced that Shepard was MIA, suspected KIA, during the assault on the Citadel. It took two days for her to get over the concussion._

_Tali had confined herself to the engine room after that, her work more rote and by the numbers. She emerged once and had drunk herself into a stupor after frying another coupling. Gabby and Donnelly had fled the engine room at her rage, with Tali stalking to the bar. Garrus and Liara had tried to calm her down, figuring older crew might have more luck. Her response: to lean towards the Turian and say:_

"What about Garrus? I mean, I'm free, you're free. Whaddya say? We're going to die here. He left us here. Left us behind. Why not go out on a high note, you ugly bosh'tet."

_Liara had laid her out with a single punch. Tali took it and had lain on the floor, whilst her two friends sat with her, crying together in their grief._

_After that Tali had worked in silence, a machine. The Normandy was fixed after three months, back in contact with the Alliance and back in the Sol system after another one._

_When they arrived they all visited the site, but it was more a gesture - the site had been swept. The field hospitals had no records and they didn't know where to start before the various chains of command had torn them apart - the migrant fleet had recalled Tali to help with engineering, the Alliance taking Liara and Kaidan and the Normandy, Garrus becoming first advisor to the Primarch. They had held a final ceremony aboard. Tali had placed the nameplate on the wall and stormed off the ship, not even stopping to bid farewell to the crew._

_And during that time no one had gone to Shepard's room. It had been too painful._

_Liara had kept in touch, watching the crew as they went about their routines. She spoke to Tali, but the conversations were short, brusque. They met aboard one of the temporary shipyards in Luna's orbit, which is where she met a formal young Quarian name Jin'Draxen vas Tranlor. The introduction had been stilted, but Tali had seemed a bit more friendly - he was helping her as a liaison from the Live Ships. Apparently a distant relative of Dar'Xen, according to her research. But they had spoken in friendly terms and it had seemed like Tali wanted Liara's blessing._

_But Shepard had been spoken of in bitter terms, even by Jin. There was a block there now - grief turned to anger. And Jin seemed protective of the Fleet's youngest Admiral - a hero to her people. Shepard was the Man Who Had Left, someone who had fled the battle and left them all with pieces to repair. Vash'Tot nos Krik as Jin had put it - a half finished job. Tali had nodded along._

_Liara had barely spoken to her since then, as the Fleet had begun to leave, heading on the long trip through the Relay network, back home. She had assumed command of the Civilian fleet and the Geth Auxiliaries, due to her intimate knowledge of the Geth networks and the realities of engineering. Admiral Daro'Xen had remained on Rannoch with Admiral Raan and Admiral's Gerrel and Koris had to handle the Heavy and Support fleets._

* * *

"When we got her call she was damn hysterical." Kaidan shifted uncomfortably, not meeting Shepard's eyes, "She was hurting, boss; more than any of us that's for sure. And we didn't really _get_ it until she'd gone."

Liara shook her head sadly.

"Her grief consumed her. Utterly. We thought it would pass. We… misjudged. She had no one, Shepard. None of us could really empathise. We had lost a friend. She had lost her world."

The Admiral sagged and let out a mirthless chuckle.

"And I lost the woman I... loved. Would've been better if I'd just pushed her away maybe?"

His sank his head into his hands.

"And I just hung up on the woman I broke. Fucking _brilliant_."

He felt Liara patting his shoulder and heaved another, shuddering sigh. Lifting his head, he managed a weak smile.

"My advice Kaidan - don't let this woman out of your sight," he looked at Liara and she could see his eyes were wet; his face was rigid, jaw nearly locked, "But my consolation is that at least she's… happy. She's moved on, right?"

He leaned back on the sofa, aware he was a bundle of nervous energy now, flipping between mania and lethargy. Kaidan moved over to place a hand on Liara's shoulder.

"Jesus, I feel like a lovesick puppy. Not felt like this since… since Akuze. Since dad. Shit, I'm having a breakdown in front of you guys. Some Admiral, hm?"

Liara smiled and Kaidan arched an eyebrow.

"Frankly Shepard, I think we're both surprised you didn't go postal before."

"Oh, reminds me - I owe you a display case. Pistol, glass… apparently not a good combination."

"Ah, was going to redecorate anyway. Could be worse…" Shepard managed an arched eyebrow. Kaidan smirked, "Could've been the fishtank."

The tension drained: Shepard laughed. He laughed until the tears ran, finally breaking through. He heaved between laughs and sobs, choking slightly until a backslap brought him wheezing to a stop.

"Jeez, I need to… need to get this out. Phew. Thank you guys. Shouldn't be loading this off on you. I mean, for you guys it's been a year. I get three weeks and my first bit of news is that the woman I want… wanted to spend the rest of my life with is getting _married_ and that people are moving on. I feel like a dinosaur. A relic."

Liara pursed her lips and frowned,"Definitely not. I'm an archaeologist remember - I would recognise an antique if I saw one."

He smiled weakly, "So, what do you advise I do. I _want_ to leave it. I _want_ to just… hide it. But I have a feeling that if I do… it's going to hit me when I least expect it."

"Yeah, that it might… not just the trauma Shep. The guy, Jin - he's, ah… he's the Quarian Council nominee,"That brought a look of surprise. Shepard groaned. Kaidan grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck, "We were going to brief you en route."

"Yeah, this will bite me. Great, so I have to play nice with the ex's new man. _Brilliant_. Why couldn't I have stayed _dead_."

He leaned his head back and groaned. His stomach was in a bad place, his head a worse one. This had been, really, the first time he'd look at that thought - _marriage_. Or whatever the Quarians had. Bonding? Clan welcomes? A wake? Well, without proper decontamination on the wedding night, maybe. He smirked inwardly at the maudlin though. Slowly he got to his feet.

"A fair bit to think about. Don't worry guys; I'm not going to the bar. Get a few hours shut eye, then we can head for the Citadel. Looks like I'm going to have to face a few demons."

Liara and Kaidan nodded, exchanging an uncertain look. Shepard flashed them a reassuring grin and hobbled from the room, wincing with every step. He made it up to his room, studiously avoiding the shattered glass, before slumping into the bed. The Admiral (The title still sounded hollow in his head) leaned his head against the wall and gently thumped it backwards a couple of times. The Universe had a twisted, sick and ironic sense of humour at times.

Part of his brain told him to grab his gear, hijack the Kodiak and run to somewhere, _anywhere_. To hide. Like he should've done on Akuze. Like he should've done after Virmire. On the Citadel, after Omega, after _Earth_. Hide and let the Universe forget about him, let it move on, let it grow and scab and drain the poison. Let it heal.

But the louder part of him said _hell no_. See it through. For good or ill, see it through.

He banged his head against the wall again and swore, then brought up his omni tool. He kept it short, to the point. He read it, but didn't press _send:_

Admiral Tali'Zorah nar Rannoch

_I apologise for the abrupt nature of our conversation. It has not been an easy few months on anyone, least of all yourself. I have only just been made aware of the realities of current events and I am still out of my depth. I wanted to be able to pass on my heartfelt congratulations. It is good to see that life continues on and that what everyone achieved is still being built upon. I wanted to let you know what I am pleased you have found a future worthy of your achievements._

_I do not want this to be difficult. I will likely be working closely with the Council for an interim period and I wish for our interactions to be professional. I owe you that and more. Meagre as it sounds, it was never an intention to be the cause of suffering and I can only apologise for that._

_For your sake, I will keep our interactions minimal and to the point. Should you require anything, either from the Alliance or the Council, please do not hesitate to contact me._

_Yours respectfully,_

_John Shepard_

_Admiral_

_1st Fleet Auxiliary_

_Systems Alliance_

He stared at the text for some time, jaw working silently as he weighed the decision. Would this build a bridge, burn it, or lay landmines for future interactions? Cut the ties and let her move on properly perhaps? She had moved on, obviously, but he needed to defuse the anger there. Was it hate? Too strong a word. Resentment? He couldn't tell. What was happening was a knife in the guts, but… he was a soldier. A professional. And he had a job to get on with.

Get it done, see it through.

Get out.

The N7 way.

He pressed "send"


	7. Chapter 7 - Homecoming

**So, some advice taken! I've played around with this one in my head, done some editing. Let me know your thoughts.**

* * *

The journey to the Citadel was uneventful - he had bid adieu to his mother, saluting her in the airlock, embracing her one last time with promises to cook her dinner once he'd got the Citadel apartment sorted, that'd he'd be back _without _a fleet of mind-flaying spaceships next time he came to visit.

He spent the voyage going over reports of rebuilds, Spectre requisitions and numbers (via Kaidan) and looking through the various newsfeeds. He had yet to receive a reply, but after the revelations of that unpleasant evening he wasn't surprised. He hid his pain well, but he knew all too well that feeling of grief, how it was an abyss you walked along carefully. He had considered an explanation in detail - how the Alliance had hidden his survival whilst he was in a coma, how he had tried contacting the fleet, but that the comm buoys were so saturated. But logic wasn't really a factor in this.

They were two days into the journey, waiting for a relay to spin into activation, whilst Shepard was training. Down in the hangar bay, he railed against a punch-bag, trying to favour his injured leg, to build up strength. Miranda watched nearby, checking readings on a data-pad. Vega was leaning against the weapon bench, watching carefully. Miranda had sighed and approached the Admiral, who continued railing against the sandbag.

"Shepard."

_Thud. Thud thud. Thud thud thud._

"Shepard… hello?"

_Thudthudthud. Thud. Thudthudthudthud._

"Shepard!"

_THUD_ - the sandbag snapped from its restraint and split, spilling the contents across the hangar bay. At the back Steve Cortez, shuttle pilot in residence groaned as yet another chore for the day reared its head. Shepard, breathing heavily, turned a wincing gaze on Miranda.

"Yes, Lawson?"

"You need to ease up. I know we said constant physical therapy is a must, but you're pushing your knee too hard, not to mention your scapula. Tear that again and it'll strain your right arm too much," she sighed and shook her head, "I hope Chakwas is right about those supplies at the Citadel - we may need to replace the whole leg."

Shepard blinked in surprise, "What?"

Miranda had the good grace to appear awkward, but she was soon businesslike again, "It's the joint - the cybernetics there haven't just fused, they've fragmented. It's wearing at the bone. And the meshing is too deep - we can't replace it. Looks like you'll either have to slow down or we're looking at a replacement sooner rather than later. We can clone you a limb, Admiral, but it may take months. We need to cool down on the therapy."

Shepard limped over to a crate at the edge of the ad hoc gym and sank onto it. He nodded his thanks as Vega tossed him a towel, which he draped across his shoulders. Easing his left leg out slowly, he grimaced.

"I want to argue with you Miranda. But yeah, it's not brilliant. News keeps getting better - no active duty for me. Desks and paperwork. Universe loves throwing me curveballs.

A cloned leg though…?"

"We wouldn't be cloning a whole body of spares, Shepard, just the limb. We definitely do not want a repeat of the last cloning debacle."

"Yeah, the Citadel sounds damaged enough. Plus don't need you and Jack getting into another near catfight. Traynor'd rip her a new one," Vega barked a laugh and Shepard allowed himself a smug smirk as Miranda _blushed_, "How is that going anyway?"

"None of your business, Admiral. If you had forgotten, I'm not Alliance, so it _isn't_ fraternisation."

"So, pretty serious then."

Lawson sighed, shifting her weight onto one hip and tilting her head with pursed lips. Shepard grinned again.

"Doesn't work on me - not British. Glad to see the Commonwealth nations forming a good partnership though."

Grunting he got to his feet, just as the tannoy sounded. Joker's voice came across with an update:

"Admiral, we're passing through the Relay, eta in Widow System 10 minutes."

Shepard sighed, "Great, slow down so I get a chance to drag my crippled form to the cockpit."

"Welcome to my world Admiral!" crowed the pilot before shutting the comm. Shepard mumbled a few unsavoury comments and retrieved his cane, managing a steady pace to the lift, Miranda following like a fussing mother hen. Vega watched them go and sighed, turning back to weapon cleaning. He heard Steve approach and turned back again. The man was watching the elevator doors.

"What's up with the Admiral?"

"What, you didn't know his leg was busted? _Damn_ amigo I don't want you flying me again if your eyesight is _that bad_."

Cortez shot him a withering look.

"Not that, Vega. He looks… broken. His eyes. Like he's going through the motions. I mean, it's great having him back, but last time I saw him like this was just after Tuchanka."

"A _chica_,_ amigo_. Bad times. My fault, kinda dropped it on him. Just gotten from bad to worse. But he'll keep going. Hell if I know how he does it. I'd have emptied Afterlife by now."

"What, Vega - you getting all misty eyed and heartbroken?"

"Can it Esteban. I got a romantic soul!"

"Really? What, hoping to get some resale value out of an unused product?"

Vega snorted and turned back to the bench.

* * *

Shepard whistled under his breath as he watched the once grand Citadel drift into view through the nebula. It was humbling and horrifying at the same time. The five Ward arms were a shattered remnant of their former immense size: several fragmented pieces held together by vast scaffolding arms and interlaced structures.

The Presidium ring was three unfinished curves, similarly held together. The Council tower was half the size, a broken reminder of that day. The last day of the war.

"Where're we docking Joker?"

"Presidium hasn't got much working yet, I hear. We're heading to our old Ward bay. Still intact."

Shepard saw the fleets as they drew closer, gathered around like a swarm. His military senses tingled as he observed the formations. He drew a slow breath.

"They're formed _against_ each other…"

Miranda, standing next to him, arched an eyebrow. Joker exhaled slowly, looking up at the Admiral.

"Yeah - but look at the formations - Geth and Quarian lined up with Alliance ships, Krogan and Turian vessels in a defensive sphere… the Asari and Salarians have got their own fleets above a ward each."

"Marking territories already. Great. Who's pointing what at who?"

EDI chimed in at that point, "The Alliance and Quarian fleets are watching the Asari. The Turians and Krogan are more focused on the Salarians. The Geth are evenly spaced between the Presidium and ward arms. Civilian traffic is flowing as normal."

"So the synthetics are doing a better job of peacekeeping than the Council races. Brilliant. What about remnants?"

"No other races have fleets present in enough numbers to validate a threat to any party."

"OK, so it'll just be the biggest, nastiest idiots fighting it out," Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, "_Fantastic._"

* * *

The dock hissed open revealing a relatively clear concourse - the Citadel still hadn't fully repopulated: too many bad memories about the place. According to extranet reports, Keeper activity was reduced or simply non-existent in places. Slowly he made his way off the vessel, Kaidan, Liara and Miranda a respectful, but nervous distance behind him. Part of him was grateful, yet another part of him railed at his fragility. He noticed a certain hush and glanced up at the higher tiers of the neighbouring concourses and groaned slightly. Whilst the population wasn't as high, there were still _plenty_ of people and refugees. And it seemed like they were all crowding the balconies to stare down at him. He took a step forwards and was nearly buffeted by the wall of sound that hit him as every damn person began cheering.

"Oh _hell_."

Kaidan stepped up next to him, flashing a grin.

"Got time for several hundred thousand autographs?"

"I'll just claim I'm a decoy and that you're me with a newer face. They'll buy that."

"Ouch, nasty. No need to worry Admiral. We've got your back. Called ahead for a car."

The man was right - a sky car zoomed into view and settled on a pad nearby. The group made their way over, trying to ignore the constant chants of "Shepard, Shepard!" The slamming door dampened the noise somewhat as they took off. The Admiral glanced out the window, watching the Normandy, settled in the docking cradle amidst the Ward port concourses, as they flew away, deeper into the slowly growing ward.

So, celebrity life. That was interesting. Not something he'd _really_ had to deal with before. And he wasn't sure he wanted to start.

His thoughts drifted to the station itself - it wasn't the test he'd expected; the political realities had somewhat lessened the dread of flashbacks with more pressing concerns. And yet it was more sadness than fear he felt looking at the place. Whilst it was a testament to survival, a weapon turned against its former masters. The mass relay to dark space made their Achilles heel. But also a grave and a memorial. Anderson had died here. _He_ had nearly died here. That was a thought he brushed away, turning to look over at Kaidan Alenko as he piloted the car.

"Alenko, quick question. Captain or Major?"

Liara peered from the backseat and looked at her lover, "Yes, that is a question I've been meaning to ask. What dictates the terminology?"

Kaidan looked nonplussed, "Er, it's both. I mean, I'm both. I mean, you were a Commander, Shepard, but ranked as Lieutenant Commander. And then you came back and…"

"Yeah, you outranked me, apparently. But I wasn't Alliance then and now I'm an Admiral. So, point moot. But which do you prefer."

Kaidan sighed and gave Shepard a sidelong glance, "I am not going to start giving my rank as a first name, unlike _some_ people, Commander." Shepard chuckled but gestured for Alenko to continue. The man shook his head and grinned, "Fine. One the ground it's Major, as per Alliance Marine Corps ranking. On board ship, as the ranking naval officer, it's Captain. Personally, Major sounds tougher, but makes me _old_. Captain, much more enigmatic."

"I'd forgotten you were a romantic."

"Thank you sir."

Miranda smirked and interjected, "Shouldn't you be asking Liara? She's got to put up with you posturing the most."

The Asari inclined her head at Lawson and nodded.

"Miranda makes an excellent point. Captain it is. Makes you sound… dashing."

"Please, let me out of the car first before you two start embracing eternity, ok? Reckon we could survive from this height Miranda?"

"As Jacob used to say - the risk, but the prize!"

Shepard stared at the grinning former Cerberus operative, "Ok, what the hell did you do with my cold eyed merciless revenge machine of a former XO? And please, _never_ do that accent again. I am never getting that image out of my head."

They were still laughing as the car settled outside of a still near-pristine apartment block. Shepard looked up as he levered himself out of the car, eyebrows arching in surprise.

"Wow, I was expecting it to be a little more… bullet ridden."

"First thing they fixed, apparently, in this sector of the ward at least. All the way up to Shin Akiba. Look over there."

Shepard groaned as he spotted a small mountain of flowers, synthetic and genuine, piled around a makeshift shrine. It had been set up in the communal garden in front of the building.

"Seriously?"

"You touched a lot of people Shepard."

"Not the ones that mattered, though," the Admiral murmured, as if to himself. He shook himself and reached for his grip bag.

"Ah, we've got these, Shepard."

He grunted, but gave no further protest, limping his way towards the front of the building. Miranda watched him go and turned to the other two.

"You are sure it's wise to give him the box _now_?"

"He'll need his stuff back sooner or later. We were going to on the ship but… never a good time. At least here we can do damage limitation. Maybe. Lots more to distract him with."

"Good point. Come on then, before he starts yelling."

* * *

Shepard was waiting by the lift as they manhandled his few possessions into the building. He frowned as Kaidan walked past with a large grey box, but decided to say nothing as they ascended to his apartment. Formerly Anderson's apartment.

"Y'know, maybe I should've gone to Intai'sai…"

"Because hiding on a sun blasted planet with no views is going to really help your disposition, Shepard?" Kaidan adjusted the box in his arms, "No offence Admiral."

"You know, I do have a first name."

"Yes. Commander. Don't know why you changed it to Admiral. Doesn't have the same impact boss."

"Har har."

The door dinged open and revealed the corridor to the apartment. Stepping into the hall, Shepard froze and stared incredulously at his front door. A Turian was stood there, apparently muttering to himself, standing at an odd angle. Shepard advanced and his face broke into a grin.

"Garrus! I didn't recognise you without a set of half-blasted armour!"

The Turian grinned back at him, mandibles flaring in genuine pleasure. The man seemed to have a new scar on his chin, a rather uniform purple. Strange, he hadn't noticed it over the vid comm. He hobbled forwards, eliciting a tsk from his old friend.

"I hope you're not going to be using that as an excuse when I kick your ass next time, Shepard?"

Garrus was still stood oddly, in a kind of stood. Now closer, he could see the scar more clearly. Not a scar: another tattoo? Face paint.

"Yeah, yeah, legitimate handicap. Not that it isn't good to see you, but I thought you were on Palaven. And what happened to your chin?"

There was also a strangely familiar scent in the air. Garrus shifted and he looked… embarrassed? Shy? Proud?"

"Hey Shep!"

There was a shimmer in the air, followed by the crackle of a disintegrating cloak. A familiar hooded figure appeared, arms wrapped around Garrus' neck, hanging from his back like an overenthusiastic child. Familiar eyes glinted above a chin adorned with a purple stripe.

"Kasumi! Don't tell me, Grunt's hiding in a pot plant."

And then he noticed something about _her_. Blue markings on her face, covering what was visible of her cheekbones. Shepard paused, and then looked from the thief to the detective.

"Seriously?"

Kasumi grinned.

"Seriously?!"

Shepard ran a hand through his hair, turning to look back at his other friends, who were all trying to avoid his gaze, grinning like idiots.

"_Seriously?!"_

"So, ahem, yeah. Citadel. Honeymoon. Surprise?"

* * *

Five minutes later they were all gathered around the kitchen unit, drinks in hand. Shepard slapped Garrus on the shoulder.

"You thought I was going to be _pissed_? Garrus, only think I'm annoyed at is that I missed it. C'mon, fill me in."

"Well these guys knew. Half expected them to spill like a bunch of Volus with the threat of foreclosure. But it was… on Earth. Met Kasumi after we got back. I was assigned to help in the refugee camps whilst the relay was repaired. Kept finding things going missing. Tracked it down to an abandoned warehouse district - nothing there… but some signs of _amateur_ distribution."

Kasumi, her hood down by her shoulders now, tsked and swatted at Garrus' arm. He rumbled in his throat, a low-level chuckle, and she sighed, fixing her gaze on Shepard.

"It's what you get for working with children - they don't know to clean up after themselves. Anyway, I saw that it was this guy following me so I decided to have some fun."

And what had followed was two week chase which ended silhouetted against the river Thames, by a broken Tower bridge.

Shepard supped his beer and looked between the two.

"Rather fast for a wedding?"

Garrus ran a hand over his crest and scratched the back of his neck.

"We may have been seeing each other on and off since, well… the Collectors?"

Shepard blinked.

"_Really?_"

Kasumi shrugged, "You were rather preoccupied - kidnapped humans, suicide run, return from the dead and a certain engineer," Shepard winced, but Kasumi just nodded sadly, "Not the best of times. Sorry Shepard."

"No, no, it's fine. Can't have eggshells every time she comes up. She was rather a large part of the last three, four years. But I can't believe I didn't spot it. I mean, I barely saw you guys in the same room! And the party here!"

"Cloak, Shepard. Plus Garebear here is rather light on his toes when he wants to be."

"If _anyone_ makes a comment about reach, I'm going to bottle them," muttered Shepard, fixing Garrus with a glare. The Turian pointedly ignored him, and leaned down, gently touching his forehead against Kasumi's. Shepard had to admit, it was a rather sweet sight. And this from a man who could choose which freckle to drop a mass accelerator round through at 1000 metres.

Kasumi turned her head again, maintaining contact with Garrus.

"Anyway, Garrus found me some books during shore-leave before we hit Omega that second time. It kinda started there."

"And finished in London when I pulled her out of Terra Firma riot."

"Both hopeless romantics. How'd the day go."

"Well, my family only, really. Sol really took to Kasumi."

The thief smiled and rested her head against Garrus' shoulder, "So many Turian babies. So. Sweet. They made me feel welcome."

Shepard smiled at his friends, glancing over at Liara, who was leaning back against Kaidan, the man's arms around her waist. Miranda had a rather smug smirk on her face.

"Well this is ridiculous sappy. Something has got to explode soon, surely? No? Right, let's crack open another few beers and you can tell me what's in that crate Alenko."

The Captain chuckled and gently moved Liara to one side. The small party made their way to the main seating area and draped themselves across the sofas. Garrus sprawled on one, Kasumi folding herself neatly in his lap. The way she never seemed to be more than an arms width away from him was heart-wrenchingly sweet. Miranda perched on an arm-rest, whilst Liara seated herself demurely on the adjacent sofa. Kaidan retrieved the box from the entry hall and placed it in front of Shepard, before sitting down next to Liara, spreading his arms on the sofa backrest.

Shepard looked down at the box and frowned, "So the one guy who's got the busted leg has to sit on the floor to open his present. You're a cruel commanding officer Alenko."

"Learned from the best." Garrus nodded from the other sofa.

"It's what I was on mission for. Glad you were listening Captain. Or is it Major?" That got a groan from the others, followed by a "We've been over this!"

Shepard sighed and gently levered himself down to the floor, with much use of the cane. With a grunt he finally came to a rest, and then flipped the sealed lid. His breath caught as he began to pull items out.

"You guys saved my shirts. And my ships," he smiled gently taking the multitude of individual boxes out, placing them to one side. "Dog tags too, good good. Would hate to forget my name. Hoodies, clothes. Surprised you didn't put my fish in here!"

"They come with the Ship. And Joker isn't giving that up any time soon."

"Fair point. Right, weird Leviathan sphere… and my helmet." Shepard regarded the item carefully, as if handling a bad memory then placed it away from the rest of the items. Kasumi chuckled.

"It's like a kid at Christmas."

"I'm glad you're amused, Goto."

"Vakarian."

Shepard glanced up and grinned as the couple realised they had answered in unison. The thief just smiled and somehow curled up closer to her new husband.

"Sweet. Now, what el… ah."

He fished out a picture frame. His gaze rested on it for a while, before he licked dry lips and placed it gently down on the floor. Face up. He looked over at Alenko and leaned back on his hands.

"Thank you Kaidan. All of you. Why didn't you just, I don't know… get rid of it?"

"Wasn't ours to get rid of boss. And we knew you'd have been pissed."

He managed a half smile and looked at them all.

"You never gave up hope did you?"

There was silence for a moment, everyone lost in thought. Liara spoke first.

"We always hoped, Shepard. But the Alliance said nothing. But until we saw a body, we had to pray."

"And I wasn't feeling any supernatural over watch," Garrus's mandibles flexed slightly, "I wasn't about to think you'd buy me a drink first. No Shepard without Vakarian. And I was still kicking."

Miranda shifted and gave a haughty smile.

"I had faith my modifications would carry you through. I did design them after all." Her smile softened, "And if they didn't, well, you'd come out swinging, I believe is the term."

Kaidan nodded slowly, "You're damn hard to kill. I'd… doubted you before, John. Wasn't going to bet against you again."

Kasumi propped herself up on Garrus' chest, her head tilted.

"And I still needed to be a bridesmaid. You aren't getting off that easily."

Shepard laughed, but there was a slightly hollow edge to it. He stopped at her expression.

"You're serious aren't you?"

She gave a semi-shrug, "As you are fond of saying - there's always hope. And Tali hasn't invited me to this wedding, so you're my best shot." Her eyes twinkled mischievously. For some reason, Shepard felt reassured.

"You are an odd one, Kasumi..._Vakarian_."

Kasumi turned her head to gaze at Garrus. She hummed to herself and made a few strange noises, almost a cross between a growl and a purr. Garrus chuckled. The Admiral blinked.

"You learned _Turian_? Wow. Garrus, she is a keeper. The good kind."

They chuckled, the conversation flowing easily, along with the beer. After a few hours, Garrus and a thoroughly comfortable Kasumi were passed out, wrapped in a blanket on the sofa; Miranda was in a deep sleep on the second, out for the count. Upstairs Shepard leaned against the spare room's door and bid his friends good night.

"Have you two set a date yet? Seems to be the done thing."

Kaidan shrugged as he pulled off his shirt. The shower from the en suite was just audible. "Nope. But… I want to. Soon. Once we've worked out where we all stand. Spectres, Alliance…"

"Grab it while it's good, Alenko. Keep her close, I told you that already. Anyway, sleep well. Tomorrow is going to be an education to say the least."

"Heard loud and clear boss. You ok, John?"

"Been better, Kaidan. But been a hell of a lot worse. Today did me good. Thank you."

He nodded to his old friend and turned, hearing the door click shut behind him. Slowly he limped towards his room, mind clear for perhaps the first time in days. His omni-tool beeped.

_ETA 4 days. Meet then._

_Tali_


	8. Chapter 8 - Congressional Theory

**And we're into a bit more background plot. Yes, I'm torturing you. The next chapter will introduce HIM... so hold with it and keep that feedback coming.**

* * *

The next morning had come with the smell of roasting bacon (probably vat grown) and coffee (dragged from the pits of hell). Shepard had emerged from his room more rested than he had felt in several weeks. The message had been short, to the point. But. But. She had signed it without honorific, without formality of naming. That, for some reason, allowed a kernel of something to sit in his chest. He wondered if he might just be hungry. And whilst he was rested, he was also restless.

Four days. Probably three now, factoring in comm buoy delays. And quite a bit to do before that: first, breakfast. Then, the Council. He hadn't received an official missive from them, other than from the interim human Councillor, a survivor of the Systems Alliance parliament, some wet behind the ears politico named Davies Charlestown. Shepard made a mental not to have Liara do some digging.

As he descended the stairs he couldn't supress the smile as he caught a glimpse of Garrus, lying on his front, snoring, arm hanging over the edge of the sofa. Miranda was likewise draped, her sculpted form a tangle of sheets and bed hair. The part of human he recognised as human did a swift appraisal.

"I saw that," grumbled Miranda, yanking the sheet up over her head, eyes still shut, "What the hell time is this Shepard?"

"07:30 Galaxy standard time."

"I hate you and regret the day I fired several billion credits into you."

"Could be worse, I could be the **Harbinger of your awakening**."

She groaned at his abysmal impression and tried to bury herself deeper into the couch. Garrus snored on. Rounding the corner he found Kasumi operating the stove. She grinned at him and in the clear light he was able to make out the face paint clearly - a mirror of Garrus'. She was wearing a robe - he decided to refrain from asking where she'd found it. Probably rifling through a storage room. Or another apartment.

"Morning Shep. You look perkier today."

"Oh it's bound to go downhill. May as well make sure I don't end up with a deficit."

"Good plan. I take it the Major and Liara won't be joining us yet."

"Yeah, I don't want to be next door to their room when they wake up. I can only take so much cute."

Kasumi grinned and fished a pot from the sit, pouring him a mug. He frowned around the kitchen and arched an eyebrow at her. She grinned brightly.

"Turns out I'm _quite_ the homebody. Garry's a mean cook, too, but I find it helps set the day up."

Shepard leaned backwards and took a moment to just enjoy the normalcy of this. He eyed Kasumi for a moment, a question forming in his head.

"I'll be honest, never really saw you two as the ones to do the deed first. He's my best friend and I can't believe I utterly missed it," He held up a hand placatingly as she turned to point a spatula at him, one hand on her hip. She tilted her head to one side and grinned.

"Yeah, as I said last night - you were distracted. And Garrus and I were… well, it was about friendship. We have a lot in common, albeit on different sides of the fence. He's kind, he's awkward, he pulled me out of the fire so many times… how could I not love him?" She tilted her head to one side and offered a shrug, "When some Turian wounded were all set to tear down a camp of _children_, to get some material for a fire, he shouted them down, shamed them. He was rubbish at getting to the point though. Luckily, I wasn't."

She hummed cheerfully, briefly turning back to the stove to serve up a plate of bacon and eggs, before flicking a few items over in a second pan: dextro food, he realised. Shepard shook his head.

"Wow, blindsided me. Always thought you were there to perv on Jacob."

"Oh I did for a bit. Then Garrus and me had a long talk after you'd stolen all of the dextro alcohol from the lounge. He was so formal, so awkward! But he asked me about… stuff. He wanted to talk. I was glad of the company. And then I realised I was glad of his company. After the mission, after we all went our separate ways, he messaged me with some book suggestions: Turian mythology. And it rather grew from casual moments of brow touching in the lounge to…" she waved her hand at her face and _giggled_, "this! I'm thinking of getting them permanently marked on. Rather fetching?"

Shepard nodded, his face a mask of mock appraisal.

"You sure it doesn't clash with the purple?"

"Oy, Shepard, stop flirting with my wife…"

Garrus stepped into the kitchen and thrummed a morning at his mate, leaning down to touch his brow to hers. She grumbled something back and swatted at his talon as he reached for the dextro pan.

"Talons off - you're going to eat like a civilised bird man."

"Fine, fine! Sleep well Shepard? Did Kasumi sneak in to rifle through things? She better not have."

John chuckled and shook his head, "No, she hasn't gone through my drawers this time. Just saying, bit blindsided by this. Very happy though. Glad you both found some peace."

"Yeah, me too Shepard. I think she's happy. Human faces are so hard to read… she could just be using me for my hundreds of connections and extensive family…"

"Yes, because moving up the Turian hierarchy is a MASSIVE motivator for me," Kasumi rolled her eyes and served food for herself and Garrus, before turning the heat down on the oven, "So, eat!"

They ate whilst standing, sharing a few words, catching up on eleven months of time lost. A louder-than-needed clatter from upstairs announced that the other two house gates were "official awake" and thus coming down. This got a "Considerate of them!" from Kasumi and a series of grumpy curses from Miranda who trudged into the kitchen with sheet wrapped around her like a shawl.

"Someone had a bit too much last night."

"Ridiculous. I am genetically perfected to not be an easy date."

"Yep, definitely too much."

Shepard placed his plate down on the side, nodding as Kaidan and Liara entered the living room. The cavernous space felt warmer today, filled with friends. Part of him dreaded their leaving, having just an empty space, with nothing but his thoughts. He was so used to having people only a bulkhead away, down a corridor. Solitude he associated with wetwork; rainy hillsides and a snipers scope; the black expanse above Alchera as he had slowly, every slowly, suffocated in his suit.

"Shepard? Lost you for a moment there boss."

Kaidan waved a hand in front of the Admiral's face, eliciting a brief shudder and a smile from the man, "Fine Alenko, just thinking about next steps. I'm going to head to the Council. You guys are welcome to crash here as long as you need."

Kaidan nodded, exchanging a brief glance with Garrus who gave the most imperceptible of nods, "Well, I've got to check in up there too - no doubt you're going to do something Earth shattering. may as well get front row seats."

Garrus chuckled, "I'll join you on the Presidium later. I owe Kasumi for breakfast, plus some overdue shopping."

"Didn't want to intrude on your honeymoon, Garry," Shepard grinned, "You guys have a hotel?"

"Nah, we're vagrants. Of course – we're booked into one in Shin Akiba, one of the few that actually has utilities too. But I reckon we'll be spending some time here. If I'd know you were alive, would have just expected to crash anyway."

Kasumi nodded and leaned against her husband. Miranda looked at the couples then at Shepard, turning like a large white traffic cone, "I've been working for the past seven months solid, so bugger the lot of you, I'm going back to bed."

She turned and trudged towards the stairs, grumbling about "sofas" and "shotgun". Garrus frowned, "But you don't use a shotgu-"

"_Figure of speech you pillock."_

Kaidan glanced at Liara and seemed about to say something, but Liara glared daggers at him, "Yeah, best not... mention… yeah. So, Council chambers!"

Shepard gave them both a look.

"Great. Spare bedroom broken in at least. The day gets better."

He ignored the blushes and headed back to his room to prepare. A good start, but he had a feeling it was going to be a long day.

* * *

_G - So, what's the plan?  
__  
L - Keep an eye on him. M says he is still in recovery and Chakwas has spoken to her about his stress levels inhibiting his recovery._

_G - KV and I will hang on the Presidium._

_KG - need to get my initials changed on this ap. SQUEE!_

_K - keep the channel clear guys, will have record on should we have issues._

_L - I doubt he'll do anything rash._

_G - He's meeting the Council for the first time since we beat the Reapers. The new Council._

_L - Point taken. Is he armed dear?_

_K - Does he need to be?_

_L - Another good point. Please try to minimise collateral damage. KV (Yes, rather adorable) can you get in close when they arrive?_

_KV - Was the Silver Coast a walkover? Of course I can._

_G - Hey, wasn't all you. I helped._

_KV - Yes, you were the perfect image of a busy body police officer. I almost bought it._

"What's happening then Captain?"

Kaidan glanced over at Shepard as the Admiral piloted the sky car towards the Presidium ring. He found his grip on the arm rest wasn't as tight as usual: The former Commander's driving was less erratic than usual.

"Just Liara, sending me a to do list. Shadow Broker stuff. Sometimes I wonder if I'm merely a roll in the hay with good connections."

Shepard snorted, but didn't pursue the matter. A lot of his friends on the Citadel at the same time? All a bit too pat, even if he had hitched a lift with three of them, with a plus one still aboard ship. But he wasn't going to complain. He turned his thoughts professional.

"So, brief me. You've got the most up to date information on the Council - what's the layout, what should I expect?"

"Honestly? Chaos. The communiques we were getting from them were contradictory at best. There's no single policy and there isn't what you could call an actual Council. It's a lot of representatives all arguing they deserve to be members, with the Asari and Salarians holding the traditional line, the Turians taking a back seat and everyone else demanding fair representation."

The Captain rubbed his chin and blew out a sigh, "The original Council members are dead or retired - Sparatus stepped down, but Tevos and Valern died during the initial evacuation of the Citadel, whilst the Reapers were moving it. The new Turian Councillor is Victus, so you've got an ally there. The Salarian Union sent Esheel - she's pretty hardcore, pro Salarian, protectionist. Traditional Dalatrass. But there's complications there - a few Salarian colonies have seceded and have sided with the Krogan on a lot of issues. Worst is Irissa, the Asari delegate. Stone cold. She is not a fan of yours, sir, blames you for Thessia falling."

Kaidan took a breath and tilted his head back to think. Through the windshield he saw the Presidium come into clearer focus, the car angling into an access tunnel that would lead into the verdant park areas of the ring.

"Ok as for the, WOA! Shepard, Truck!"

The Admiral twitched, then glared at Kaidan, "Very funny, Lieutenant."

"That's Captain…"

"Don't push it then."

"Received… anyway, the Krogan representative is Urdnot Kraal. Warrior but very shrewd. Wrex picked him specially for this. Not your average Krogan: shoots after asking the questions, usually. The Hanar have Delindanier - not a lot of impact there. Quarians… well, you know. Not a lot of info on him. Son of a live-ship Captain, excellent engineer, but very conservative. Accepts the Geth but is very traditional. Very tied into fleet traditions."

Shepard frowned, "Always thought the civilian Quarians tended to be a bit more laid back."

"There's more to him… he is related to Daro'Xen, after all. A bit of a collector apparently, anything of interest, tech wise, but now has expanded that. A few Quarians have gone on a bit of buying spree now they have a planet with more room to use. But yeah, he's quite a strict one. Haven't had much from him, other than the odd salvage request for 'studies'. And then the Elcor have Jorl and the Volus have Barla Von."

The car descended in silence for a moment. Shepard brought it to a halt on the pad near the base of the ruined Citadel Tower.

"Barla. Von."

"Yep. Apparently went into politics after the Shadow Broker mantle changed hands. We know he knows a lot, has his own little network, but he's a cautious one these days. He wasn't on the Citadel for the past two years, left during your brief period as a tax dodge…"

Shepard sighed and looked at Kaidan, "Nice - way to rub in the fact I was dead, Captain."

"You can't be that bothered sir; you just promoted me."

"Right, fine. You armed? Think we'll need to shoot our way out?"

"They're politicians, sir."

"That's what I mean. Dangerous."

"Got my pistol."

Shepard frowned. Kaidan was in dress blues, as was he. A much better impression than combat armour, though he wondered whether he could even move in a set anymore. Plus combat armour tended to be undermined if you needed a cane; but he always felt a bit more, well, him, when in full rig. He patted his hip, where a mag-locked Carnifex was strapped.

"Shields and a pistol. Can't be too careful."

Kaidan sighed, but nodded, flicking his own shields to "active". Shepard nodded.

"Right. Let's go face the music."

* * *

The Council had taken up residence as close to the top of the ruin as possible - old habits died hard it seemed. As Kaidan and Shepard rode the elevator up towards the highest floor, they took in a view that was achingly similar to the first battle of the Citadel - pristine promenades marred by rubble and twisted metal struts. Verdant green parks with the twisted, burnt husks of dead trees scarring their layout.

"It's bad out there."

"But getting better."

Shepard grunted. How many times had he been up and down this damn lift? Hell, he'd walked up the side of the building, gun overheating as waves of Geth were mown down. He remembered Garrus calling out numbers, a laughing Tali flinging herself into the fray. He should've been worried at that, but the fact that a nearly two kilometer long sentient dreadnaught had been attached the the building and they were racing to stop it doing something very bad had meant he'd allowed for a little desperate mania. He remembered watching her move, back then. At the time, he'd thought he was just "keeping an eye on her", covering a squadmate. It was only as he drifted away in the blackness of space that his last thought had been. "I'm going to miss her."

The elevator shunted to a sudden stop, shuddering briefly, stirring him from his reverie. He gave Kaidan a sideways glance and they both hurried from the creaking machine. The doors hissed shut and they could hear the sing-song sound of metal under tension, settling again.

"And this place has definitely seen better days."

The floor was a large lobby, with several raised balconies on either side, very similar to the old Council chambers. High above, the tower was open to the elements, the tell-tale shimmer of a mass-effect shield keeping the vacuum out. The very top of the tower was layered with construction crews moving amongst jagged struts, going about the business of normalising the utter mess of the place.

It was crowded, the various representatives having departmental offices on various levels. It seemed that some of the people were just milling around, lost. There were queues everywhere; people still trying to find lost family; property requests; salvage agreements; enlistment. It was never ending. Most looked like refugees, with only the clothes on their back. Shepard swore under his breath.

"And it's still this bad?"

"And this is the more civilised part of space. The Terminus systems have only just gotten reconnected to the relay networks. It's… pretty bad out there."

Shepard stopped and shook his head, collecting his thoughts. Right now, there was just a lot of anger, frustration. He briefly wondered if he should've taken that offer at the end, trap or not… could he have made things more bearable? Reduced the casualties? Fixed things quicker?

But for how long? keeping life going, some sort of pet for the demons? A deal with the devil was a poor arrangement.

He tapped his cane against the floor and continued onwards, trying to ignore the stares; trying to ignore the fact the crowd parted in front of them. A pair of Krogan bowed to him, their crested, heads dipping, their huge, humped frames bobbing with respect.

"You didn't have to headbutt them this time."

"Oh you heard about that did you."

"That and the fish."

A Geth inclined its mono-occular at him, the lens zooming closer. The synthetic stepped aside, offering a nod. The Admiral could hear the murmuring building as people began to turn, to point him out.

"Let's hurry this up. I'm assuming big double doors with a lot of C-Sec?"

"That'd be it."

Shepard limped faster. There were three figures ahead, atop a short flight of steps that led to the entrance to the conference room. Two Salarians and a human; he nearly goggled - Armando Bailey.

The trio turned as they approach, and all of them _definitely_ goggled. Bailey spoke first.

"God damn Shepard, you keep doing this. Another tax dodge?" The officer grinned and Shepard noticed that the man's left arm was now metal. He gestured to it and smiled.

"Things get a bit dicey?"

"Darn straight. We were still fighting and trying to get the damn civvies outta here when the Fleet turned up. Made it off before you lit this thing up like a firecracker, but not before a Brute gave me his personal attention. Nice trick with the Relays. I won't ask how you did it, don't want that special Spectre magic to run out. Here for the Council?"

Shepard nodded and glanced at the two Salarians, grinning in recognition, "Kirrahe?! Jondum! Damn it's good to see you two. Small Universe." The two Salarians nodded, smiling, their large eyes flicking with rapid blinks. Kirrahe spoke first.

"Commander… or rather, Admiral. I am afraid you're about to run into the same problem we have. C-sec have been told to deny entrance to the Council chambers until deliberations are complete. We wished to voice our… concerns."

Jondum folded his arms and nodded in agreement, "Indeed. The Salarian councillor does not speak for all. This cannot go on without proper representation."

Shepard exhaled, looking at the two of them, "Interesting. For a second there I was expecting you two to be on different sides, with a request that I find some optimum solution to your issue. Can't think why. Is this true Bailey?"

The C-Sec Commander sighed and shrugged, "We were asked to keep the peace. Prevent a bullrush, protests, that sort of thing. 'A sense of decorum' as the Asari put it. They're trying to build a government, but they're treating everyone's request for a voice in the only way they know how: shouting it down."

"Not very patriotic Bailey."

"Not much of a patriot. Seen too much to buy that horse-crap," the Salarians looked mildly puzzled but seemed to let the comments slide without query, "The status of the Spectres is… in dispute as well, which is why Jondum is still outside. I can't let everyone with a claim for independence in, or a comment on Council policy. I make an exception, we get a panic."

Shepard nodded.

"Yes, I see your problem. Y'know, Commander Bailey, I think you need to delegate this issue. Look for higher authority. Like, perhaps the large number of people behind me with relevant concerns over the large fleets out there all pointing at each other."

Shepard smiled as Bailey looked out at the crowd, all now watching them. The Admiral patted his shoulder, "We're not causing trouble, we want to remind the Council what matters. I think a few… select representatives should be able to have oversight on the political ramifications of this discussion?" He gave the man a wry smile. Bailey cocked his head to one side and nodded slowly.

"I think you're right Shepard. Due process in a democracy must be observed," Bailey grinned nastily, "I was asked to ensure the peace was kept, after all, in the spirit of democracy. Any recommendations?"

"Well, I was going to go pay my respects, I think it only fair that we take adequate representation, supervised by your men."

Looking over at the nervy C-Sec officers, Shepard noted their composition for the first time - A few Turians, humans, Salarians; but now C-Sec appeared the boast at least a couple of Quarians, a Krogan and a Geth. Shepard managed to contain his surprise, merely glancing across at Kaidan who offered a small shrug. Bailey noticed their looks and grinned.

"Ironic, isn't it? We've got representatives from everyone except the Hanar, but in there they're looking to tear each other to pieces," he sighed, "If I'm going to get fired, it better be for a good reason. So, recommendations?"

"Well, I don't believe the independant Salarian colonies lack representation. And it is only right that the public get a look in on their future. But I'll need you to keep the rabble rousing to a minimum, ok Shepard?"

The Admiral grinned and walked past the ageing cop, "Bailey, what do you take me for? Wait. Don't answer that," he paused to look at the the Salarians, "Coming?"

Jondum stepped forwards and fished a datapad from a clip on his belt, "Before we enter, Shepard, you should be aware of this. Things are not good. There is a reason our worlds have split from Sur'kesh."

Shepard frowned and flicked through the pad's electronic pages, skimming. His eyes widened and his jaw set, "Well now. This is not good. Bailey, change of plan. Rabble rousing is back on the menu, as well as full on riot control. We are definitely going to have to be careful here. I'd advise you get whatever available men you have on alert and on station."

Bailey looked uncertain but nodded, gesturing to the Geth officer, which approached. The pair moved off into a huddle. Shepard handed the pad to Alenko, his face set. Kaidan glanced through it.

"Ah hell."

"Yep. Now, who wants to try to explain that to the Krogan Councillor? Volunteers? Oh, just me then. Kirrahe, see if you can't round up some public spirited citizens to make sure we have an audience. Jondum, Kaidan, let's go do the Spectres proud."

And with that Admiral Shepard, Hero of the Citadel, Survivor of Akuze, Killer of the Collectors, Nominated Praetor of the Victory Fleet and pissed off Spectre limped over to the double doors and flung them open.


	9. Chapter 9 - Home Truths

They had appropriated an old conference room, which had been cleared. In the spirit of egalitarianism the councillors were arranged behind desks set in a semi circle. However, the Asari and Salarians had occupied the "apex" as it were. The Turians had messed up this show of solidarity by taking a position that placed the Krogan next to the Asari. The Quarians and Geth sat opposite, next to the Salarian. The Humans were next to them, along with an Elcor, whilst the Hanar representative hovered serenely between the Volus and Turian.

Shepard only had a moment to take all this in as he slammed the double doors open. The Councillors all froze, quite a tableau: some standing, arms raised, paused mid-gesture. Only the Krogan and Geth appeared utterly impassive, sat still.

The semi circle was array so that any entrants would walk into its focus, akin to the Admiralty board for his trial on Earth. Well he was damned if he was going to be intimidated. The Admiral limped forwards, gaze sweeping across the group.

"Councillors. Well now, I hope that I'm not interrupting."

The Asari councillor, Irissa, drew herself up imperiously and gazed down her nose at him.

"What is the meaning of this intrusion? How _dare_ you interrupt these negotiations! Commander Bailey! Remove this miscreant!"

Shepard drew his head back in mock surprise. He half turned, leaning on his cane and looked at Kaidan, who grimaced, then turned to look at Jondum, who averted his gaze, focusing on the ceiling. Shepard turned back to the fuming Asari. He chose to ignore the fact that Victus, the Turian, and Kraal, the Krogan, we also trying to avoid his gaze. But they were grinning. The human Councillor looked positively _ill._

"Miscreant. That's a new one ma'am. I mean, I'm an Admiral. I've been called bosh'tet, asshole, _dead_ a few times. Mostly I'll take Commander, though."

He let that sink in. He took a sour bit of amusement as her face shifted through various emotions. To her credit, she maintained eye contact for a good minute before tearing her gaze away. The Salarian Councillor watched him like a snake, however. She spoke up next.

"Ah. _Shepard_. To what do we owe the pleasure? We all heard you were dead."

"Sorry to disappoint, Councillor. Thought it best to report for duty, see what else needed fixing. Because it all seems a bit lax."

All of them were looking at him now. Probably fuming, some of them. He took his first glance at the Quarian, Jin. The man was tall, nearly as tall as him, with a very well tailored environment suit - black and gold, with a cloth that looked more like a toga than anything. His eyes flicked back to the Salarian who had cocked her head, then travelled over the rest of them. No one said anything.

"Well, I was expecting a rebuke. Something. I wake up out of a coma in a bright new dawn and yet there're still refugee camps, pirate raids and squabbles going on."

"The realities of the universe Commander…" interjected the Asari. Shepard cut her off with a snap.

"_Admiral_, Councillor. Spectre, if you want to be precise."

She coloured and glared at him, "The Spectres are no more, you cannot hold that over this Council."

"And who decided that? This Council? I see a lot of politics but very little galactic unity. I saw three fleets ready to go to town in orbit around this station. Not very unified. I hear the Terminus systems are a bloodbath - not a lot of political will. I hear a lot of things. And the Spectres are either deactivated, which means this is a unified Council with genuine authority to both make and enforce those decisions or the Spectres are still extant, which means I am still looking for someone to report to. Because all I see here is a committee. Even your own species aren't represented fairly."

The Asari recoiled as if slapped. Shepard looked at them one by one.

"Now, you can try talking to me like I'm some lap dog. Some sort of thing to be unleashed. You have had a year and all you can do is argue about the status quo?"

The Salarian representative, Esheel peered at him then, "Stability _is_ important. We have tolerated these upstarts, but we need to go back to business as usual. A familiar setting, so the wounds can heal. We are rebuilding, refocusing…" she stopped, shocked, as Shepard interrupted again.

"Yes, spending vast resources on a space station in a nebula away from major trade lanes, to rebuild a government which ignored the threat that wiped out several billion sentient beings. Excluding races who made sacrifices and contributions far beyond what some members of said government were willing to commit. The same government who had hidden vital knowledge that could've given us a far better advantage earlier."

The Admiral smiled thinly. Behind him, several more people had filed into the hall, led by Major Kirrahe. Shepard moved then, pacing awkwardly with his cane. He moved towards the Hanar, walking slowly, but steadily.

"I saved the predecessors of this Council. I threw hundreds of human lives at a manifest _monster_. It served to do what? Nothing. I died. And still nothing was done. We delivered proof of the machinations of the monsters. Nothing. I lost friends, got crucified by my own people. Still nothing. And then when the devil was at the door, your people cried out and you claimed it was an isolated threat."

Victus frowned as Shepard clicked behind him, speaking up, "You go too far commander. That was not us…"

"I don't go far _enough_, Councillor. Because you are all making the same mistakes again. Repeating cycles of behaviour. Not _learning_."

He fished the datapad from his belt and made a show of reading it. He had paused behind Kraal, then looked over at the Salarian Dalatrass. She had shared a very quick look with the Asari, who was practically shaking with rage and who took that moment to speak,

"I think it best you leave…"

"As I said, I see no Council, thus no one to order me. And if you are the Council, then it is my duty to make you aware of activities that threatened galactic stability. Now, a man who was simply bound by _duty_ would, perhaps, hand this data to Urdont Kraal here.. .and then I think every Salarian in this room should get a ten minute head start. Or even if I gave it to the Turian Councillor… I think he might find some interesting reading. Or maybe the Quarian Councillor, Jin'Draxen vas Tranlor. Or the human."

He slowly slid the pad back onto his belt. Every eye watched it like it was some precious jewel. Except Esheel, who looked at it like it was a blade. Shepard clicked on, passing by the Asari. He met her gaze and found nothing but anger there. He stopped and exhaled.

"For what it's worth… I am sorry about Thessia. You have endured much. But in enduring, you have grown strong."

Her gaze twitched, her eyes suddenly searching his, "I don't need your pity human…"

"No, but you need our help. And it's hubris like that that will kill us. All of us."

He walked away, past the Dalatrass, who froze at his passage. Past the Quarian, whose eyes had never once shifted from him. Past the Geth, whom he tapped on the shoulder.

"Don't try wirelessly hacking it, sir, thank you," tension wavered as a few chuckles erupted from the small audience. He walked past the Elcor, who bowed slightly, then returned to his original spot before the Committee. Kaidan and Jondum had stood stock still throughout it all.

"Now, you don't have to listen to me. I'm one man. But You are _representatives_ of your people. You will _have_ to listen to them. Not to the past. Yes, they want stability. But they want a future too. The status quo is smashed. Every day that a Geth helps a Quarian build a house; every time a Salarian stops some idiots of their own species repeating history. Every time a Krogan and a Turian share a war story. Every time a Batarian finds themselves being treated by a human doctor. We can't fall back, because that's what nearly killed us. Now, I'm going to sound arrogant here, but I think _maybe_ you should listen to me _this time_. Because it won't be some diabolical metal crustacean that wipes us all out… it'll be us."

He exhaled and leaned more heavily on the cane.

"And you guys _still_ haven't offered me a seat. You never change. Gentlemen, we should leave these fine people to their debate. _Councillors_, I would draw your attention to the people behind me. Think of them as you talk now. Be better. Do your duty. This is bigger than just a species. Remember what this place is about. Not what it was. Or you can explain to everyone out there why we're at war. _Again_. Do this in the light. No more secrets."

Shepard pushed himself to attention and saluted, then turned and limped out of the room. The crowd parted, again, letting him through. Behind him he heard Victus clear his throat.

"I think that is a good point for a recess…. I think we should reconvene in an hour… outside."

The murmurs of assent were lost as he descended down the steps. Kaidan and Jondum walked on his flank. The Captain looked about to speak but Shepard shook his head. A voice, distorted by a modulator brought him to a stop.

"Impressive, _Admiraaal_. I can see why she liked you."

Shepard forced his grip to relax as he turned. He offered a smile at the Quarian Councillor. The man was drawn up in a straight-backed, regal pose. All authority and gilt. His robe was draped over an arm, very much like a toga. He inclined a head in response to the Commander's smile, "If you would, Admiral, I wish to speak with you. It is a private matter." The accented voice was smooth, but clipped; the natural Quarian accent haughty and imperious from this one. Without waiting for a response, the man turned and strode away towards one of the side corridors, evidently where the offices lay.

Shepard chewed his lip for a moment, lost in thought., then he turned to Kaidan, beckoning Jondum over as well, "See if you can't find out what the status of the Spectres is - numbers, MIA, casualties. Extant assets. Requisitions. This is a small reprieve - the Council will be a bit more cautious now, but I want the Spectres to be impartial here. We're not going back to wetwork and internal assassination. I think they'll play ball for a bit. Keep me updated. Kaidan, see you back at the apartment. Jondum, damn good to see you again. Come along, we have some good vodkas."

The Salarian grinned, "I'll bring Kirrahe. I'm sure he'd love to retell that "Hold the line" story to you again, Admiral. Good luck with the Quarian. He's a bit of a cloacae."

Shepard chuckled, then looked at a patch of empty air.

"And as for you Kasumi… don't you have a honeymoon to be on?"

With a nod, Shepard turned and headed for the showdown. Behind him, Kasumi decloaked, much to the shock of the two Spectres.

"How the _hell_ does he do that?"

* * *

The office wasn't what he expected. For one, the large, golden statue of Saren, situated behind Jin's desk was a bit of a surprise. He could tell the man was smirking under his visor. Shepard had practically frozen as he'd entered the Councillor's office.

"Berkenstein. We recovered it six months ago from a caved in vault. I think it is quite the likeness to the man. A reminded, as you so eloquently put it, against hubris. Wipe your feet if you would. If you feel the need to expel bodily fluid, there is sanitiser on the side."

He watched the Quarian look him up and down. The thin, snout like helmet cocked to one side and he heard the man snort slightly. Shepard glanced around the room again. It wasn't bad decoration per se. It was just… too much. Every surface had a bauble, or some form of statue on it. Some technical parts were arrayed on a bench nearby. He flicked his gaze back to Jin as the man spoke again.

"You are… ineffective, Admiral," he gestured languidly with one hand, "Your leg appears deficient. It limits you."

"Oh I don't know. I managed to get through death. This will just mean bed rest for a month, tops. And it's not like my gun arm is out."

"Quite. Quick to resort to violence."

"Were you in the room ten minutes ago?"

"Threats, nonetheless. You are a danger, Admiral. You should realise this. I do not support the reinstitution of the Spectres. I feel I owe you this honesty due to your… history with my wife."

Shepard managed to remain stock still. He watched Jin sink into a chair, silvery eyes focused on him, "Your candid attitude is refreshing."

"I see no point in dancing round an issue. I will not brook further interference in sovereign Quarian affairs. If you are a Spectre, then this is an order, if you are not, then it is an official request from one embassy to another - we will be able to live without Commander Shepard. You have been thanked. You are no longer required. Whilst I appreciate you "standing up", I think you would call it, for us lesser races, we need no help from you. My wife and I are quite capable of ensuring the future of our race on the galactic stage. And now, with the Geth at our side, we will not be pushed around."

The voice was so, so calm. Almost amicable. But still that clipped edge. Shepard tilted his head and forced a tight smile. He knew this for what it was: _stay away_.

"Well, Councillor, that is quite the request. I merely took the opportunity to point out the mistakes of the past. I am sure you are more than confident in your own abilities. And those of your wife. She is incredibly gifted in many areas."

A bit of a low blow but he saw the man's neck flex: their elongated forms and their reliance on body language made them poor poker players, despite the masks, "Yes. Indeed. Admiral Shepard, I will be requesting the Council not re-activate your Spectre credentials. You have served well enough and achieved much. But the galaxy has moved on. We need new tools for the future and we must discard older, broken utensils. Efficiency is paramount - this is what my father taught me and what Admiral Tali'Zorah understands. The Quarian people are moving into a new, influential era. They must be confident in themselves. Without crutches that will weaken their self worth. I am sure you understand. Now, I must prepare for the next session."

He stood and walked around the table, eyes still fixed on Shepard. The Admiral inclined his head, "Of course. Your people now have a future. Something to build on."

"Do not misunderstand me, Admiral. My people are grateful. But we will move forwards. We repaid our debt to you. You have your home. We have ours," the man paused to stand next to him, gesturing to the door. As Shepard turned the Quarian laid a hand on his shoulder. Shepard stiffened visibly at the touch. He cursed himself internally. Jin spoke again: "My wife will be arriving in three days. The ceremony is to be held in the Quarian quarter in the Presidium. Family only. I will not have her troubled during this time - it is an important moment for our people. The Heroine of Rannoch will bond with the most influential ship-clan, bringing a new era of peace for us. I will not tolerate a threat to my people's future, Admiral. Please understand."

"If you want to threaten me Jin, just do it. I'm bored of quasi supervillain talk. The last thing I would ever do is jeapordise her happiness. But let me say this now. Make sure she is happy," He was shocked by his own brutal honesty. In the Council chambers it had been necessity and careful, controlled fury. Here, he nearly spat the words through clenched teeth. He brushed the Quarian's hand from his shoulder, "Fine, Rannoch for the Quarians, I get that. Hell, I'll even tolerate the minor put downs and vaguely amusing comments on my prowess. But you would do well to stick to your promises. I had never heard of you until this week. Think how low down my priority list that puts you."

The Quarian blinked in surprise. Shepard realised he was leaning forward chest poking the man. He straightened back and looked the sputtering Councillor up and down, returning the gesture.

"I am a Councillor, how dare you touch me!"

The Councillor practically staggered over to the shelves, grasping for the hand sanitiser, determined to get _clean_, desperately wiping at his visor and gloves. Shepard watched for a moment in vague horror and surprise, as the Councillor scrambled to clean himself off.

"Don't worry, you don't need to worry about me getting in your way, Jinny. I'll see myself out."

Shepard turned and stalked out of the office, leaving a flustered and cursing Quarian behind him


	10. Chapter 10 - Reckoning

**Not sure how well Jin comes across - I won't tell you how to interpret him. Hopefully his attitudes will speak for themselves.**

**I have corrected some former chapters - notably Commander Bailey's rank. Someone also pointed out Barla Von actually being on the Citadel, but I think I can take a few little liberties. I appreciate it it though, as I may go back and fiddle a bit!**

**Also, I have put a forum up should anyone wish to discuss the story outside of the confines of "Reviews"**

myforums/Praetus/5250952/

* * *

**"Reckoning"**

Shepard stalked his way towards the elevator, his pace surprisingly quick for a man with a cane. Admittedly he winced with each step, his teeth grinding against one another. He hadn't realised how much the man had gotten under his skin. He had overreacted, been _unprofessional_. With the "Council", he had been making a point. With Jin, he wasn't sure what he had been aiming to do. He didn't break stride as he spoke to the air beside him.

"Kasumi. I am fine. You don't need to keep following me."

The Japanese thief shimmered into visibility next to him, keeping pace. Her frown, coupled with an arched eyebrow said she disagreed, "You look like to you want to smash someone into the deck plating. Haven't seen you like this since the Migrant Fleet…"

He stopped so abruptly she had to spin to face him. The Admiral exhaled slowly through his nose and nodded slowly, "I think you should go spend the afternoon with your husband. I need… some time to think. Please.

She gave him a searching look, then nodded slowly, "Alright Shep. But we'll be back this evening. You don't get rid of us that easily. Can't believe you tried a coma to shake us off."

She winked at him, did a little flourish and was gone. Chuckling ruefully, Shepard entered the elevator and descended the tower. He leaned back against the wall and took a few breaths to clear his head; the thoughts kept boiling away, as he analysed the reality of the situation:

A Quarian with an even bigger terror of dirt that normal? An engineer and farmer - well, farm ship engineer - at that! A hoarder? A contradiction? An authoritarian? A perfectionist with severe territoriality issues?

And it came back to the same question: _why?_

What made a man like that appealing to her? Someone who took joy in simple things, who was fascinated by intricacy? Who questioned and chased and revelled in all things new? What was it about a slow moving stoic conservative that made her go "Let's get married"? It had sounded political, but Jin had seemed protective. Of what? The ceremony or Tali?

Well, she was going to be here in three days - always best to go to the source in these things.

The doors slid open and he walked out, teeth still grinding as he walked purposefully to the skycars. First things first.

Time to get stupidly drunk.

* * *

_L - What do you mean you left him alone?_

_KV - Exactly that. He's a big boy Liara._

_L - In a bad place, Mrs Vakarian._

_G - Still liking the sound of that._

_L - Focus_

_G - I know Liara. But he isn't made of glass. He won't do anything stupid_

_Kaidan Alenko has joined the conversation_

_K - So, where is he?_

_L - We do not know. Kasumi decided to let him wander off._

_K - You haven't got a tracker on him?_

_L - I wouldn't do that._

_K - You've got one on me._

_G - Busted Liara._

_KV - HA!_

_L - Not the point._

_James Vega has joined the conversation_

_J - Guys, someone might want to head to Midnight_

_L - Vega, what's up? Why the club? Impromptu dance off?  
_  
_J - One of the crew reported seeing the Commander in there._

_KV - Admiral_

_K - Admiral_

_G - Admiral_

_L - Admiral_

_J - Whatever. By the sounds of it the man's on a mission._

_K - He's not trying to dance is he?_

_J - No sir. Just trying to see how long his liver can last._

_Kaidan Alenko has left the conversation. Liara T'Soni has left the conversation. Garrus Vakarian has left the conversation. Kasumi Vakarian has left the conversation._

_J - WHAT? When were you going to tell me scars?_

One of the blue ladies had laughed at the joke. He had managed to smile in a winning way, gesturing with his glass. Another blue lady had laid her head against his shoulder and whispered something he couldn't quite make out, but sounded a bit strenuous. But maybe worth exploring. He had pursed his lips and nodded slowly. She had laughed as well.

And now he'd bought the bar another round and was standing with glass raised.

"My name is Commander Shepard and this is my favourite place on the Citadel!"

He sank the shot, along with a Turian, Salarian and three humans stood next to the bar. At the same time they all hissed and bent double before slamming the glasses down on the bar. The crowd cheered. The music thumped. He swayed gently, gesturing for another round. Another blue lady smiled sweetly at him. There was a brief commotion and she was replaced by a face that was only slightly blue and more silvery. And pointy.

"Don't fancy your chances… wanna drink?"

"Spirits, he's bad. Did Miranda say how much his tolerance was effected without all the implants?"

"Only mobility. His digestive supports should be fine," ah, now this one was blue. Pretty, "My eyes are up here, Admiral."

"Nah, _Commander_. 'S me. Wanna drink? They serve them here. Good too. Sir! A round of drinks for the people!"

The barman glanced between the Admiral and the new arrivals.

"Which people?"

Shepard turned to the bar as a whole, "ALL the people!" Another huge cheer.

"Right, definitely had enough. Good hearts and minds strategy though,"

"Not the time Garrus."

"You sure? I mean, free drinks, good compan- ow!"

"Try it and your next job at home will be as chrome linings on all our furniture bird man."

"Sorry dear."

Shepard watched the strange show but smiled as the barman handed him a frothy looking green mixture. He raised it at the newcomers and went to sip it, but found his hand empty. A diminutive oriental lady had just taken it off him. He frowned at her.

"You're sort of blue. No tentaclics though. Nice blue. And purple. I like purple. Love purple. Used to like black a lot y'know. Really got purple," He blinked, wondering why his eyes were wet, then turned to the barman, "Got anything purple?"

Hands gripped his shoulders and he felt arms hoist under his elbows. There was the sensation of movement but his legs weren't moving. The barman was becoming smaller, the cheering crowds chanting and waving as he disappeared backwards from the throng. He managed a wave and fist pumped the air.

"That was nice. Where's my purple?"

His head lolled and he began to snore.

* * *

The pain was very particular. Centred just behind his eyes. There was a general soreness around his general temple region and just around his head. The stomach didn't feel particularly brilliant either. Not much of him did. Shepard managed a groan and tasted his mouth. Which was a mistake. There was a handy bin nearby at least, which his flailing hands found nearly instantly.

After a few moments he managed to gain control again. and coughed briefly. He took stock: he was somewhere warm - always a bonus. He remembered buying a round. Maybe more than one. That may not have been as good. So, either he'd made a big mistake last night or…

He managed to open his eyes, a move that had pros and cons. The pro was that he confirmed he was in his own bed. The con was that his headache got worse.

"Fuck."

"Yeah, that sums it up. How you feeling boss?"

"Ow."

Kaidan leaned on frame of the bedroom door, grinning, "Never thought I'd see you like this again. You haven't been this bad since training."

"You didn't see me af'r Akuze."

"I heard. And you passed out faster. This was impressive. I'd avoid checking your credit account 'til you get some breakfast."

"Ugh."

"And Councillor Victus wants a word. So does Councillor Descartes."

"Who?"

"Geth Councillor. Forgot to mention her yesterday. Didn't really know much."

"Yesterday? What time is it?"

"0530. You spent five hours drinking solid. Miranda says you'd be dead without those implants. Thank god for Vega and crew on shoreleave."

"Everyone knows?"

"Yep. Got a vid too. Garrus and Kasumi have gone back to their hotel. Liara is on the Normandy dealing with a few things; so's Miranda."

"So you're baby-sitting," Shepard tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but didn't quite succeed. Kaidan seemed to not notice.

"Just making sure you don't do something stupid. Like drunk dial. Or go to another Council meeting."

"I'm fine Kaidan. But thanks. You been awake?"

"Yeah, but I'm good."

"Take a break. Any coffee?"

"Kasumi finished it yesterday morning. I'll go grab some. You sure you'll be ok?"

"Just need a shower. And some water. And to die. I'll be fine. My cane?"

Kaidan pointed at the bedside table and moved to help the Admiral as Shepard rose. He was waved away and watched as his commander limped towards the shower.

"Great, slept in my dress blues. Classy."

"Could be worse. Could've slept in something blue."

"_Thank you_ for that tasteless reminder, Alenko. I defer to your experience on that front."

Alenko huffed as a dress jacket caught him full in the stomach, followed by shirt and trousers. Shepard disappeared into the shower, his muffled voice just audible.

"Do me a favour and get those laundered."

Kaidan rolled his eyes but turned back as he heard a cough. Shepard leaned around the door and sighed.

"And for the record: thanks. I probably owe you guys."

"Not at all John. I think we're just working our way up the list of debts owed. Give us a few more months, then you'll owe us."

Shepard snorted and ducked into the shower.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Shepard was towelling his hair off, searching the kitchen units for something to eat. Mostly flat-packed foods to be rehydrated, he needed something fatty and with plenty of carbs. Something to soak up the extra vodka and whatever else he still had swilling around in his stomach.

He heard the door chime and sighed, leaning into the hallway, "Doors unlocked Kaidan. Come on in."

Shepard returned to unit checking, but a moment later the door chimed again. Sighing, he brought up his omni tool, which he had retrieved from the bedside table with his cane, and keyed the 'door open' command. He heard the door clunk open, then click shut. Footfalls in the hall, approaching the kitchen. His omni tool bleeped and he glanced down at the message.

01001000

01000101

01001100

01010000

Shepard didn't pause to think. He just dived to the side and backwards. Which was why the shotgun blast tore a hole in the kitchen top and not his gut.

He hit the ground palms first, keeping off his damaged knee. Left leg straight he pushed his bent right leg down and moved around the kitchen's centre isle in in a crouch, pausing in cover as another blast slammed over the edge of the centre unit to where he had dive.. His assailant was six feet away, following his path. Good - they weren't adapting to his movements, which meant they would be….

He kept moving around the unit, anti clockwise, but rose and swung the cane , gripping it by the base, heavy handle whirling like a club, to where he expected the attacker to be.

He caught a glimpse of a silvery shell, painted blue at the torso, in the process of leaning around and aiming at where he had been. A flash-light head jerked up to focus at him just as the cane connected with it.

The geth spun with the blow, landing against the drawer units in the small, semi circular kitchen. Shepard inhaled and broke into a limpin jog towards the stairs. Damn him leaving his pistol in the bedroom. But he hadn't expected… his gut shifted and he threw himself to the side again as a blast hit the stair bannister - it was adapting. Hit hit the floor and scrambled into cover behind the sofa. Another blast ripped through cushions and he scrambled to one side.

It's aim was a little off: he must have jarred the visual scanner. His omni tool bleeped again:

01001000

01000101

01001100

01010000

The Geth moved forwards, its steps heavy on the wooden floor.

_"Shepard…..commander."_

The voice was strained, the emitters crackling.

_"Sh-sh-sh-shepard."_

He grunted, forcing his injured knee to bend as the threw himself up and over the second sofa. He caught a glimpse of the geth taking aim at where he been; he saw the unit jerk, pulling the shotgun right.

Away from him.

The blast shattered the window. It would've taken his leg off at the knee otherwise. Shepard rolled awkwardly as he braced himself against his now only unruined sofa.

_"He-he-he-help me."_

He brought up his omni tool, scrolling through apps, grunting as he found the one he needed. The one Tali had given him all the way back on the first Normandy, because his standard ap was "too cumbersome". He pressed the activate key, dialing in a timer, then, using his cane, pushed himself to his feet, flinging his left arm out to point towards the geth.

It was only nine feet away, shotgun levelled at him. But the weapon was practically vibrating in its hands, the fingers resisting the trigger. That became moot as the omni tool glowed, transmitting. The shotgun sparked in the Geth's hands and the synthetic dropped it. The flash-light head remained fixed on him as the Geth jerked forwards, its arms reaching out, still shaking, towards his throat.

Shepard swung the cane from right to left, glancing against the Geth's wrist. It grabbed, but missed as the Admiral pivoted on his right leg, using the swing as momentum. The Geth went past and tried to turn, but it was now off balance. Shepard twisted the cane mid spin and, using his momentum, jabbed at the synthetic's side. The machine stumbled and he followed through by launching himself at it. Shepard caught it around the waist and rammed it against the wall, just above the mock fireplace. He released the Geth and moved away heading back towards the kitchen and, by extension, the front door. As he limped forwards he bent to scoop up the shotgun.

Any organic would've taken cover, popped the heat sink and run the reset cycle on the weapon. Any normal Geth would've done the same. He had no spare heat sinks, but you could always improvise. He cracked open the reload port, letting the heat hiss out, then keyed an override.

Something heavy caught him in a tackle, bringing him painfully to the floor. Metallic hands scrabbled at his neck whilst a heavy weight pressed down on his back, pinning him. But it was automatic, no real leverage. As he felt the pressure built at his throat, as his vision grew spotty, he managed to leverage the shotgun backwards over his shoulder. He pulled the trigger.

There was an electronic noise and a spray of white, viscous fluid. The weight disappeared, one of the arms dropping next to him, the other slipping backwards sharply, leaving a gash at his neck.

Panting Shepard rolled over and coughed. He could taste blood, but his vision was clearing. The Geth lay slumped against the opposite wall of the kitchen cum hallway. It twitched, leaking which transfer fluid from it;s left shoulder, where the arm had been neatly severed by a very close proximity shotgun blast. The weapon lay, smoking and burnt out, nearby.

Coughing, Shepard dragged himself over to the unit and began running a diagnostic. He saw the "eye" rise to look at him.

_"Shepard Commander… Admiral. Please. Run. Get away."_

"No, you're wounded and clearly in distress. Not going to leave you here."

_"This chassis is still at 73.5% operational capacity. You have temporarily disabled several runtimes. I estimate another 109 seconds before hardware adapts and the primary objective is reinstated."_

"And what objective would that be?" He grinned as the synthetic's arch of flaps, which helped the Geth "express" (quite the popular mod amongst the now-free synthetics). It was the equivalent to a human's incredulous stare.

_"To kill Shepard, designated as "THREAT" by any means necessary. Overriding all protocols."_

"What's your name?" The unit cocked it's head.

_"This one is… Delenne."_

"Well Delenne, I don't like leaving a man, woman or anyone else behind. You're wounded. Is there anyway I can delay the reactivation without killing you?"

_"83 seconds. No. You would need to wipe the memory core, terminating my runtimes. Please, sir. Run. Or kill me. You must."_

Shepard grimaced and ran through a couple of functions on his omni tool. The Geth jerked and "frowned", "What did you do? I cannot feel sensors on the epidermal level? My HUD has been limited."

_"Sorry, got to work quick. I've anaesthetized you. Because this is the only way to keep you alive. Until we can help you. I'm sorry."_

Shepard struggled to his feet and limped to the kitchen.

_"23 Seconds. What are you going to do sir?"_

Shepard rummaged around in a draw and returned, carrying a filleting knife. He had a pale, gaunt expression on his face.

"Look away."

* * *

Kaidan pushed open the door, bags held under one arm, "Got you some Brazilian imitation. not the kick of a New York synthetic but…"

He froze as he saw the scene. Shepard slumped against the kitchen central counter, a towel clutched to his neck. The floor was stained white by Geth fluids. A synthetic lay on the floor, spasming gently. Along its arms and legs the artificial musculature was laid out like threads. The look Shepard turned on him chilled him in a way he hadn't thought possible.

"Sir?"

"She was sent to kill me. Against her will. I've disabled her sensors. I had to sever her joints and manipulators." The Admiral''s voice was dull, heavy, "However, it meant I had to disable everything except core functions. I'm no tech master. Brute forced it. She's blind. Can't move. Can't hear. Whilst the program tries to make her do things."

"Jesus."

"I've got my omni-tool running support diagnostics. Get Bailey. She's one of his. Keep it quiet: there's something else."

Kaidan approached and squatted down next to Shepard. The Admiral brought up an analysis of the malignant code running in Delenne's subframe. Then he brought up a comparison box. The codes matched nearly exactly.

"What is that, sir?"

"An overload subroutine. Fries most electronics, shorts systems. But targeted it can just overrun firewalls… or code that defines autonomous action."

"Why do you have a version?"

Shepard's voice was hollow, "It's Tali's."


	11. Chapter 11 - Conspiracy

The apartment had become chaos - C-Sec teams picking over everything: the shotgun, the impacts, the Geth "blood". Bailey had been roaring blue murder when he'd arrived: one of his team bleeding out on the floor: it made no odds to him what species they were, just that they were wounded.

He'd faltered in the face of Shepard's dead eyed stare. He'd gotten the potted, edited version of events: hacked unit, still aware, code altered. Resisting. Shepard had asked they keep it quiet: no idea what other countermeasures there were - if whoever had sent her thought she'd failed, was there a remote wipe? What if they were listening?

Shepard had managed to disable the wireless comms traffic, so Delenne had been isolated. Bailey had brought in a med-tec team and instructed them to keep her to local networks only. As the wounded Geth had been gently lifted onto a gurney she had managed to reached out, her damaged limbs offering only restricted movement. Shepard had stood then and taken her hand.

_"Thank you, Shepard Commander. For seeing me as more than a machine. I have managed to localise a cache of corrupted data…. it may prove useful."_

He had felt her squeeze his hand, before the techs had wheeled her away. His omni tool had blipped with the received data almost instantaneously. He'd forwarded it to EDI immediately.

The rest of the team had arrived then. Shepard had sat, staring into the middled distance whilst Bailey argued with Kaidan over procedure, Liara paced, Garrus and Kasumi whispered and C-Sec swept. Vega had turned up and posted several marines unobtrusively around the complex. Surprisingly, they were being quite subtle.

After twenty minutes his omni tool had beeped. After quickly scanning the information Shepard had stood suddenly and turned to look at the arguing humans.

"We tell the media the bare minimum: shots fired, Geth officer down. No reports on my status. Yet."

Bailey looked about to argue but paused, "What're you thinking, Shepard?"

"We don't want to give the enemy absolutes. Word gets out Geth are shooting me? We'll have a riot. Me shooting Geth? The Council will answer questions. Say C-Sec believe the officer was wounded and is now "inactive", injuries sustained whilst interrupting an assault in my apartment complex. Keep an eye on her. Whoever compromised her may try to retrieve her. As for me… I'll stay here. Send a coroner vehicle round the block. That may distract people. We have a few hours grace."

Kaidan watched his boss carefully and nodded slowly, "Giving us time to do our thing."

"That usually means gunfire and explosions in the wards. Great," grumbled Bailey.

"No. This time we go subtle. The data Delenne sent me is a transmission signal. A couple of directed streams. So, we have two base stations - a transmitter which sent the signal and a monitoring station. Probably for failsafes."

He brought up the tool and opened a data pack. Kaidan squinted.

"Wait… that's _outside_ the Citadel?"

"Yeah. EDI thinks a ship or something else in the nebula. Something the fleets aren't aware of or…" he grimaced, "one of the ships in the fleet. The signal has been bounced around but she's traced it to these co-ordinates."

Garrus leaned closer and gestured to the second signal.

"And here?"

"Warehouse in the wards. Most likely the base station. Probably a temporary base."

Bailey frowned, "Tricky - a tac-team'd be spotted. So many damn alleys and access routes down there. Especially with the construction."

"Then we go in quiet. Can you give me a couple of good guys?"

Garrus snorted and flexed his mandibles, "Don't be stupid Shepard. You're barely standing. And you said yourself - you don't want to tip them off. Kasumi and I can take this."

The thief rolled her eyes, "Oh, really. We can can we? Do I get a say?"

Garrus fluttered his mandibles and turned a look on her. She smiled softly, "Oh alright. But you have to give me a backrub at least afterwards," she nudged her husband, "As if I could say no to those eyes. Or you Shep."

"Guys, this could be dangerous. And you're on your honeymoon."

The pair of Vakarians exchanged a look. Garrus shrugged, "Well, we've mostly spent it testing her flexibility… trying out the new weapon mods should be a change of pace."

"Exactly. A little more sedate," Kasumi nudged Garrus again. Shepard blinked and shook his head.

"More vodka, please. Right. Still leaves the ship. Kaidan, I hate to ask."

"We can find it. Liara, Vega and I should have no issue."

"And Miranda can stay here and make sure our idiot Admiral doesn't go letting any more assassins in the front door." Operative Lawson strode into the living room and fixed a stern glare at Shepard. Her catsuit practically creaked under her pose. Samantha Traynor was stood a little behind her, trying to divide her gaze between the vision that was Miranda and a worried look at Shepard. The Admiral grinned.

"I think my hangover cure works better."

Miranda smirked, "Slightly reduced risk of death with mine."

Shepard waggled his hand, palm down.

"Penetration chances?"

"Let's not go there Shepard," Traynor had practically gone beetroot, "We'll set up in here to co-ordinate. I can give the impression of distraught girlfriend for media types. Keep the opponents guessing."

Shepard nodded, "Right. Bailey, if you could lock this area down. I'd ask you to be ready to support if Garrus gets in trouble."

The human nodded. Shepard looked at his motley crew and gestured, both hands, towards the door, "Let's do this. Find out why someone wants me dead then. I'll field any calls from the Council, keep things quiet."

"And if it was one of them?"

"Then either I accuse all of them or pretend I'm a paranoiac who wasn't here. Hell, I'll make something up. It's the Council - they'll know I'm still alive."

"You pissed off the Dalatrass…."

"A rogue synthetic trying to kill me? Not subtle enough for Salarians - too many variables. Right, go, let me think. We need facts, people."

Kaidan hung back as the rest dispersed, "You haven't mentioned the Quarians."

"Why should I, Captain?"

"Because… well, the obvious."

"What should I think?"

"That Tali is an Admiral who fought the Geth above Rannoch and was there as their specialist. That she'd have given any countermeasures to the military, which would have then become standard issue? She was damn good."

Shepard nodded, "And I have to keep thinking that. Otherwise I might believe that my ex tried to kill me with a Geth."

Kaidan nodded, then cracked a weak smile, "Gotta admit, damn ironic way to go."

Shepard stared at him, then barked a laugh, "True. Go on, get out of here."

* * *

"Citadel control, this is SSV Normandy SR2, requesting permission to clear the dock for standard shakedown calibrations."

_"SSV Normandy, this is Citadel control. Received. Please stay within markers - we've got unchecked debris out there. We don't need to add you to it with a collision."_

"Received, will maintained beacon contact. Normandy Out."

Joker looked over his shoulder at Captain Alenko, grinning as he engage the thrusters, clearing the docking clamps in a smooth movement, "Like old times, eh Captain?"

"Not enough. At least the Commander would get the blame before."

EDI looked from her position in the co-pilot seat, "That does not seem conducive to a trust based hierarchy, which the military is predicated upon."

"Precisely EDI. Now everyone gets to blame _me_ when it goes wrong. Get us to those co-ordinates. I've got a feeling we're looking for some of that debris."

"Aye aye Cap'n."

* * *

It was another warehouse district - clearly a repository for boxes. Garrus hugged the cover, adjusting himself carefully.

"Finding the armour a bit awkward?"

"Hey, I've spent most of the past couple of weeks out of it."

"Hmm?"

"And definitely _in_ something more comfortable."

Kasumi glided past him and peered around the edge of a crate, before turning to drape her arms around his neck, "Charming, Mr Vakarian."

"I try, Mrs Vakarian."

They touched brows, then broke apart, eyes scanning the towering crates. Squatting, Kasumi brought up her omni tool.

"That's the place. No guards. None visible at least."

"None on thermal either. So, either hidden, or we're about to hit a load of hibernating mechs."

"Didn't we kill enough of those last time?"

Garrus fluttered his mandibles in chuckle, shaking his head, "Not going to tempt fate. So, let's scope it out. I;ll take the high ground, get some overwatch. Get close… but not too close. Ok?"

"You worry too…"

His hand closed on hers, "No. I worry _enough_. I'd rather you weren't here but I know there's no talking you out of it. And there is no one I'd rather have around."

She smiled and sighed, "Why did I fall for the damn _hero_? C'mon Casanova. Let's get this done. They did the deed, I bet they've bugged out."

* * *

"Definitely not just debris!"

The Normandy swept up in a graceful arc, shifting around the wreckage of a former dreadnaught, tangled amidst the shattered corpse of a Reaper Destroyer. beyond sat a squat construct: a small space station.

Kaidan, clad in armour and fully kitted with weaponry growled under his breath, "Seriously? How the hell is there a fully armed fortress here? How did no one notice?"

"Uh, no idea. Less talking, more evading the _thanix cannons_?!" Bright lances of searing metal flashed through space, narrowly missing the weaving vessel, "How the HELL does it have Thanix cannons?! That's my trick. Please, Captain, let me open up on them."

"No, we need to get on board. That place is obviously not up to any good."

"Ya _think_?"

Kaidan ignored him and strode back through CIC, bracing himself as the vessel weaved through the dense debris at the very edge of the Citadel control zone. He knew how that place had gotten there, or at least suspected: the Citadel had taken weeks to move. Plenty of time to setup an advanced station. The debris field was what remained of the Citadel defense fleet, which had been wiped out when the Reapers had arrived to retake the massive space station. It would've been childs play to set a station up, hidden amongst the wreckage. But to what end? He tapped his comm device.

"Liara, Vega, get the marines on the shuttles. We're going in hot. Joker, make some volleys at them. Aim to miss. We're going to use the debris field to get a boarding party in there. EDI, see if you can't scramble them."

_"Understood Captain. They are using very advanced algorithms. They are familiar. Salarian, Quarian encoding. Geth modifications. I will do my best."_

"That's all I ask."

Kaidan stepped out of the elevator and jogged to one of the shuttles. Liara pulled him on board.

"No, you stay here."

"As you would say, like hell I will. You may need my…"

"You aren't a tech. I'm a biotic as well. We have a squad of marines. I need you to oversee things here and keep in touch with Shepard."

"Kaidan I will not be ordered around…"

He kissed her. She blinked in surprise, "Liara, I will be back. I'd like to be able to ask you something when I do. So, please, let me do this. This is a combat situation, we can relay what we need. EDI can remote hack. But I need you here, safe… ish…. to understand what we're seeing objectively. Now. I need to go."

Liara had blushed and blinked then nodded and stepped off the shuttle. As the door hissed shut Vega's voice came over the comm.

_"Damn, that was one hell of a proposal Brains."_

"Brains. That the best you can do Vega?"

_"Hey, I capped out at Scars. Good on you. The doc looks happy."_

"Heh. Right, cut the chatter… let's ride the lightning."

The shuttles blasted out into the vacuum.

* * *

"'Bug out', riiiight. What did I tell you?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise tempting fate was a couples issue!"

_Crack_, "Another one down. How many you see?"

"Two mercs on the left, got me pinned. Three mecs coming your way.

_Crack_, "That's one merc on your left. I'm relocating, keeping you in sight."

Mercs. Always mercs. Probably just being paid to set up equipment and press the "on" button. Not easily traced and expendable. Kasumi heard the pings of mass effect rounds against her cover and took the chance to activate her cloak. She sprinted from cover, the merc still trying to suppress where she had been. She ignored him and vaulted over into the cover of another pile of crates, giving excellent oversight of the three LOKI mechs trying to climb the cargo containers towards her husband.

"Not today."

She keyed her omni tool which transmitted an overload code to the middle-most mech. The humanoid droid spasmed and exploded, knocking the droid behind it off the container, where it smashed onto the plasteel floor. The furthermost droid she sighted with her pistol and cracked out two rounds into it's head. The machine shuddered and collapsed, exploding as soon as it had hit the floor. The mercenary nearby spun trying to identify her new position, but jerked as a round bisected his head. His corpse slumped to the floor.

_"Nice play. Thanks for the cover."_

"Likewise. Shall we take a peek at what they were guarding?"

She saw him emerge from cover and descend the crates. Even now, she couldn't help but admire his movement - birdlike, yes, but coiled like a predator. He was contrast. Gentle, yet sharp. A guardian angel.

"You're staring."

"And?"

"Not complaining. C'mon."

They advanced carefully into the warehouse, the external yard now clear. It had been tricky getting here, through a maze of docking ports, cargo bays and haphazardly stacked containers. This place looked a little better organised. The containers were neatly lined up against a side wall. There were smaller supply crates piled near the entrance. Garrus twitched and his eyes narrowed.

"This isn't a temporary base. This is a staging area."

Kasumi ducked down into cover with him and frowned, "What?"

"Look at the layout. Large kit and equipment over there: probably vehicles. Bulk supply. These boxes, near the middle and entrance: surplus supplies like ammo, weapons, armour. Ready to issue as people go out the door. Another warehouse probably is going to be used as a barracks. Up ahead, see there, where they've stacked those containers: dividers. What's guessing the HQ is there?"

Kasumi looked around, "Bit empty for a military post."

"Could have been used by Cerberus last time, now just being recycled by the mercs. Or C-sec during the defence."

"Yeah, not many guards."

"Tempting fate again."

"It's why you love me."

"True."

They advanced cautiously, using the larger container as cover. they could hear a voice now.

"We lost transmission an hour ago. The monitoring station has reported contacts as well - the Normandy."

_"Well, to be expected. They're clutching at straws. He is no doubt dead. The threat eliminated."_

"And you're sure she ordered this?"

_"What does it matter. You work for me. I work with her. He would have become problematic. And this is a perfect test. You have the data?"_

"Yes. Transmitted to the ship for her review."

_"She will be here in a few days to oversee the final implementation. Have you got the connectors running?"_

"As I said before, it is slow going. The Keepers try to undo the work, but we're getting good at stopping them."

_"And your problem?"_

"If they get past the outliers they won't be getting past us."

Garrus leaned out and took in the scene: a Turian was addressing a terminal - the voice was distorted, the screen obscured. The number of desks and terminals indicated an operations room - but why hadn't they bugged out? Surely they knew they'd been compromised? Had their guards been spread further out? Looking to ambush at the edges? Piss poor strategy.

There were other mercs: at least twelve, half of whom seemed to be playing cards. One stood atop the containers at the far end of the warehouse, sniper duty. The other fice were arrayed at the edges of the room. He leaned back.

Kasumi looked at him, arching an eyebrow, "We keeping score?"

"At least twelve. I can take the sniper. Probably drop another two. We'll need a flash-bang. Try to take the commander alive. And don't fry the terminal."

"On three?"

"Yep…. THREE!"

* * *

The shuttles hugged the wreckage whilst above the Normandy dived and slice with her own Thanix cannons. There was a blossom of flame from the station as a turret erupted. All the weapon systems of the structure were trying to track the fast moving frigate.

They closed in, keeping low against ragged metal and jutting Reaper. Then they broke into open space, rocketting forwards at full burn. The point defence towers opened up, but it was too late, the shuttles dived and spun. The station was small, just an outpost, so it wasn't bristling, like Omega. The Normandy had done her job.

They angled for the docking bay, the doors of which were sealed shut. A flash of burning metal from another attack run by the Normandy removed that issue. The twin shuttles roared into the breach.

Inside it was a mess of flame and wreckage. As the shuttle doors opened the marines piled out, slamming themselves into cover, avenger rifles trained on access doors and hatches. Kaidan bailed and signalled to Vega.

"Secure the LZ. Get up to their control tower and lock this place down. I'll take a squad to the bridge, find out what the hell's going on here."

The marine nodded and started ordering the squads. Six marines secured the hangar, barely fit to even be called that. Three more jogged to the access door that led to the raised control room. There was a brief retort of gunfire, followed by the comm message:_ "Clear. Blue Suns. Tango down."_

Kaidan gestured for three marines to follow him. They approached the main hangar access. A marine placed a charge and backed off. After three seconds he triggered it and the squad swept into the bowels of the station.

* * *

"Shit shit shit."

"You ok?" Garrus ducked briefly as another burst of rounds clattered off their cover.

"Yeah just my shields. How about you?"

"The Armour's fine. We got six of them at least."

"I think I winged a seventh."

"Yeah, that was the commander." Kasumi just shrugged. Garrus chuckled.

"So, pinned. No high ground. We need to negate their numbers. Thank spirits they don't have a Krogan. Blue suns. Prejudices die hard."

He risked a glance and ducked back, then looked at Kasumi. She smiled and triggered her cloak. His optics tracked her as she practically vaulted up the larger crates. At the apex, she rolled into a prone position and then opened up with her SMG. The mercenaries fire faltered as they realised they'd been flanked. A burst of sparks followed by a shocked cry indicated an overload of someone's shields. Garrus popped up, sighted and squeezed the trigger. Another merc dropped. As he ducked back he saw a second man fall, clutching his neck.

Four. Easy.

"You haven't won yet you bastards!"

_"What's the crazy asshole doing?_" he heard his wife mutter.

"What?"

_"The commander, he just did something to a terminal. Self destruct?"_

"Shit. I'll cover you, we need to get out."

"Oh hell. It's not a self destruct…."

He saw a container open across the room, one of the larger ones. He knew from the sounds that Kasumi could see a second one somewhere. In the shadows within, single, white optics began to light up.

* * *

Alenko spun through another corner, his squad methodically clearing the narrow rooms and access ways. This was the most simplistic of stations he'd ever been on, more a relay hub than anything. It remind him of the old Close Quarter Combat training they'd run through in basic. All prefab and featureless rooms. They'd passed several server rooms and an empty computer lab, but so far they'd encountered one surprised Blue Suns Batarian who had barely had a chance to swear. Several storage rooms had yielded nothing. Vega was holding firm, where the mercs had staged a counter assault, with only a squad strength.

Now they were at the bridge. The door here was a lot tougher. Three charges.

Kaidan stood back and counted down on his hand. As they reached one he flexed with his mind and pushed. The charges detonated and the biotic force he had added to the mix took the door into the room. The surprise was palpable from the Mercs inside. Gunfire errupted, but it was haphazard. Kaidan and his squad waited, then surged forwards, Alenko forming a barrier in front of him to deflect cover fire.

They moved in, taking cover behind the consoles near the door. After a few short moments, the bridge was secure, the station commander on his knees, hands in the air.

"We surrender! I demand amnesty!"

Kaidan frowned and commed Vega, "Bridge secured. How is it down there?"

_"All green boss. Counter attack neutralised."_

The Captain turned back to the station commander, "So, how about you explain what a load of mercs are doing aboard a military grade space station…."

The man smiled nervously, typical of human mercs when they realised the gig was up, "We're just a monitoring relay. Secure comms from a Citadel address. We just guard the computers. Got a suit rat somewhere who keeps tabs on things, makes sure we get paid. We get commed weekly by some woman, voice all distorted. Don't ask don't tell, y;know."

"So you're working, quite happily, in the dark for someone you don't know?"

"Hey, they pay's good."

_"A shame you won't be alive to spend it. Really you get what you pay for."_

The voice was distorted, modulated. It had an edge to it. Kaidan frowned. It had a tell tale modulation that screamed Quarian, "Who is this?"

"Someone you should not have underestimated, Captain Alenko. First Shepard, now you. Two Spectres in one day. Quite the little score I am racking up. This day is turning out very well. I think she will be pleased with the results."

"Who?"

_"Not your concern. I will leave you in the capable hands of my associates. Please try to die in a dignified manner."_

He heard the station comm go dead, just as his suit radio crackled to life.

_"Boss we got hostile. Four shuttles just hard landed down here. We got Geth and Loki mechs, as well as some merc. Platoon strength, heavy fire. One wounded, no fatalities. We are doing a firing withdrawal to your position. We will try to hold the corridors. Plan boss?"_

Kaidan tried the wide band to the Normandy, but cursed - the comm links were jammed; he hit his personal comm, "Hold position as best you can. We will come to you. We need to get to the shuttle bay for a hot evac. They seem to want this place intact."

He hoped EDI had the sense to realise it was an ambush. Outside, through the bridge viewport he could see movement which made his heart sink: a cruiser, camouflaged amongst the wreckage, moving into cover position. He looked at the prisoner, who had an expression of defiance and fear on his face.

"Knew they were coming?"

"We have contingencies… But they're using the Geth drones… those haven't been tested," he stopped abruptly. Kaidan smiled grimly.

"You're going to help. Get those turrets back online. Simmons, Rasheel, head to Vega's position, reinforce him. Janeson, you're with me, cover the prisoner. Let's light this puppy up."

* * *

Kasumi dived into cover, sliding to a halt against a container. Rounds pinged off of the crates and she swallowed air. Panting, she pinged her comm.

"Garrus… where are you? _Garrus_."

There was a loud retort, followed by the distinctive noise of a Geth having a serious problem. There was movement above her and garrus dropped down from a cargo container. His armour was scratched, but he looked otherwise unharmed. The Turian grunted with irritation and tossed his sniper rifle to one side, unholstering a pistol.

"Out of thermals. You ok?"

Kasumi smiled weakly and nodded. Garrus cursed, "Sorry about this, Kas. Not much of a honeymoon. Shouldn't have dragged y-"

Her fingers went to his mouth, "Shut up, idiot. We both owe Shepard. I chose this. Hell, without him I wouldn't have you…. so, less regret, more killing Geth."

Garrus risked a look around their cover, then glanced back at Kasumi, "There's something off. These geth aren't working _smart_. They're working like LOKI mechs."

"Yeah, no weapons either. Still the mercs out there?"

"Yeah, three left now, but a couple of the Geth have picked up weapons. A few more are heading for those crates we passed… they're learning slowly. But if we can work fast, they won't be able to catch up."

She sighed and popped over the cover, firing twice. Another Geth dropped, but there were at least twelve advancing slowly towards them. it was creepy - they lurched as much as walked, like zombies from an old vid. She ducked back with a frustrated hiss.

"The mercs are moving to flank us."

"Thought so. If we suppress and move right, we can get out the back. Then it's a fighting withdrawal through the containers. I'll comm Bailey, get us some support."

"Withdraw to where?"

"Anywhere away from fifty or so Geth?"

"Point… any more mercs?"

"Probably, but it's been light here. I think they pushed their guards out too far in the district. They were expecting heavy attacks, not infiltration. Cocky. Right, lets go. Make every round count."

They nodded to each other and rose, weapons brought to bear...

* * *

Shepard paced in the apartment. On the vid screen Councillor Victus watched him carefully.

_"As I said, Admiral, I'm glad you're alive. but there's rumours about what happened. Some are saying you murdered…"_

"Do you believe said rumours?"

_"No. But you don't exactly have many friends on the Council. They'll take every advantage to disrupt what you achieved yesterday. A day is a long time in politics."_

"The Asari must be bored as hell then. Well I'll tell you this much: someone is going to a lot of trouble. What happened here could have caused… problems for the whole Council."

_"You rate your death quite highly."_

"Seeing the state of the universe after you lot thought I was dead a second time? Seriously though… it's more the nature of the incident. Please inform the Council I will have a full report in two days."

_"I'll try to mollify them. Esheel is being unusually quiet. That means STG probably have you under surveillance."_

"Maybe. But whose STG?"

_"There was another matter Shepard… the Spectres. Officially, your status, indeed the status of the whole organisation, is under review. We saw what happened with Saren and the Council feels that the risks and _threat_ of the Spectres, particularly at this time, gives the organisation too much potential for abuse. Power grabbing. I admit I am on the fence. I can see the good, but we all know the history with the Salarians and the League of One. Saren. Tela Vasir. there are many variables where it can go wrong."_

"True. And I would agree, Councillor."

Victus looked surprised, briefly, _"Really? After yesterday I thought you would take full advantage. To keep the peace…"_

"That's me. but what happens if I have a bad day? Or I do die. Will my replacement be the same/ To what standard do we hold stability? Until the Council is unified and has such an idea, we Spectres are… dangerous. But we are also stability of a sort, recognised. I'm not sure of the answer to that Councillor."

_"I think _you_ are the answer Shepard. We need to… redesign the Council, the government. The Spectres, ironically, are the most famous aspect and probably the most likely to be judged by action. I think your opinion there would hold sway. I have put a motion towards the Council suggesting reformation of a number of areas, suggested structures and I have recommended you for the new post of Inquisitor."_

Shepard flinched, his mouth twisting into a grimace, "Yeah that title isn't going to sure how well it translates for you, but inquisitors have a bad reputation in human culture."

Victus shrugged, "_I will let you decide the rank. it is just an honorific. The Council would like your recommendations by the end of the week. And I thought you should know, in a sign of good faith, the Turian fleets have begun patrolling with the Asari. Outside of the nebula as well… trust is being rebuilt… we just needed a dose of reality."_

"You had plenty of that, Councillor. But I'm glad you've all started to take notice of it. good day."

The screen flickered off, but flashed to life again, revealing a monocular flashlight visage. Shepard blinked and frowned.

"I don't believe I accepted a call…?"

_"Councillor Descartes, Admiral. A pleasure."_

"Ah, Councillor. I apologise for not introducing myself to you yesterday."

_"I understand. You had an urgent requirement to forget."_

That was rather close to the bone. This one was either learning diplomacy still, or had a very good grasp of it, "Yes, indeed. What can I do for you Councillor."

_"Explain. Why was a member of my species harmed and why was I not informed?"_

Oh great. A geth with attitude, Shepard looked contrite and nodded slowly, "My apologies Councillor. We are still piecing together what happened. I did not want to start a panic or allow rumours to…"

_"A panic. You assume that the Geth would riot? And rumours are already spreading. You are accustomed to the chains of command, you should ha-"_

"I didn't want people to riot against the Geth. Councillor, I can understand your frustration. Most people would have killed her and not bothered to even call C-Sec. As I said yesterday, I am not going to go charging in to watch everything you have built to collapse."

The Geth on the other end of the vid link reared back, eye flaps raised in surprise.

_"Her?"_

"Yes. Her. is that an issue?"

_"No. It removes all issues. I would have preferred alerting to this incident. But… we trust you, Admiral. I was remiss. I should have trust our Progenitor's faith in you."_

"Legion was… a good friend. A surprising friend. You should be proud of him."

_"Every day. We were... worried. This is new to us, still. I would like to see her."_

"I will talk to Commander Bailey, set it up. We have to be careful… we believe she was compromised. I am still trying to find out by whom." He added quickly as he saw the Councillors occular widen, "And I will bring them to justice. I promise you."

The Geth nodded, _"Thank you, Shepard Commander."_

There was a commotion near the kitchen and Miranda entered. She looked frazzled.

"Shepard, we have a problem. The Normandy has lost comms with Kaidan and Vega. And Garrus and Kasumi are pinned down by Geth…" she trailed off as she saw the vid screen. Shepard kept his face neutral and looked at the Councillor.

"Are you aware of this, Councillor Descartes?"

_"This is troubling. We have no runtimes engaged in active combat. No reports of distress."_

"Then it looks like we're seeing round two. Councillor, I will be moving on this, please excuse me. I will report when i know more." He terminated the link and looked at Miranda, "Brief me."

She was suddenly all business, "Garrus and Kasumi are pinned in the warehouse district, total number of hostiles unknown. But considering the number of containers in the warehouse… a lot. kaidan and Vega boarded an unidentified station but are now stranded," she consulted a datapad and huffed, "There's a cruiser class vessel, mercenary registration, engaging the Normandy, The debris is preventing a clean fight, otherwise the Normandy would be able to disable it. Several fighters as well."

"Options?"

"Commander Bailey is attempting to support Garrus, but C-sec have run into outliers in the warehousing district - probably sentries. There's a few outposts, plus gangs. They're bogged down. The Normandy cannot retrieve kaidan - no shuttles, but they have prevented the Cruiser from reinforcing the station or from being able to take it out. I'll need to support one or the other Shepard, I'm sorry."

"We. And no we won't."

"What? I mean, I can get the Alliance to move in on one area… splitting the fleet may cause an issue with the other representatives, especially if they know Geth are involved."

"Exactly. So, let's keep this _Spectre_." he hit his comm. Two images popped up, revealing a surprised Kirrahe and a not-so surprised Jondum, "Gentlemen, I'm calling in a couple of favours. i need the help of the Free Salarian Task Groups."

Jondum grinned, "But that doesn't exist Admiral,"

"It better. Sending you co-ordinates. Get ships there _now_. One cruiser, disable it. The station, rescue and retrieval of my team. Get in quiet. You have twenty minutes. And Kirrahe, you're now an acting Spectre, should anyone question your orders. Refer them my way. Shepard out."

He looked at Miranda and limped past her, heading for the stairs.

"Shepard, what are you doing?"

"Saving my best friend."

"But you're…"

"Help me or get out of the way Miranda. I have a spare kit set upstairs."

Miranda nodded and helped him to the bedroom. Inside he hit a button and part of the closet slid aside, revealing a veritable armoury. He smiled grimly, "If Delenne had attacked me in here, it'd be a different story…"

He tossed the cane aside and began strapping armour on. Miranda bound his knee up and pulled tight, eliciting a grunt of pain. "Shepard, you won't be able to…"

"Painkillers - I need the suit to keep administering them."

"But…"

"Not now. you can criticise me for killing my liver later."

The armour went on, clipping into place, straps secured. Shepard pulled a helmet from a shelf and looked down at the metal face plate, then jammed it over his head. A pair of Carnifex pistols clamped to his thigh. A widow slapped against his back-plate mag lock, followed by a Mattock rifle. Finally an SMG, the Locust, thunked to his waist. he felt the pinpricks at his neck and then the warm sensation as his leg became a numb, blissful nothing. He turned.

"Sky car. Now. You're driving."


	12. Chapter 12 - Flames from heaven

Garrus slumped against the side of a container, wincing. Kasumi was panting next to him. She shook her head slowly.

"Three clips left. And we're only a few hundred metres from the warehouse."

Garrus groaned and touched his side; his hand came away blue, "One of them must've winged me."

Kasumi made a small noise in her throat and crouched next to him, yanking a medigel pouch from a pocket. The Turian hissed as the cool, healing gel staunched the wound. He managed a smile down at the diminutive thief. She glared up at him, her face set.

"You _need_ to be careful. How'd my reputation look if I lose another…" her voice nearly choked. Garrus grasped her shoulder

"You aren't losing me kiddo. Just a flesh-wound."

"Then stop crying and get moving you idiot."

Garrus grunted and moved. He groaned as they heard the electronic chitter of approaching Geth, "Running isn't working. We'll get lost. We need to fortify. Ambush. Channel them, maybe salvage a heat sink or two."

"At least we killed the mercs. Just the zombies now."

"Because that sounds so much better. Over there, the containers make a choke point." With some effort garrus forced the access port on one container. He back-tracked and clipped a tech mine to the side of another container, then returned to Kasumi. The pair squeezed inside the breached cargo container, moving quickly to push the container's sparse contents of mechanical parts into a rudimentary barricade, "This should be fine. Now let's see if they ignore us, or if we're going to have to snipe with pistols."

They shared a brief smile and then propped pistols up on their cover, waiting for the end…

* * *

"EDI, get me a damn firing solution!"

"I cannot calculate an optimum firing pattern: the debris is preventing me from tracking the cruiser effectively. Additonally, they have projected a jamming net. We are unable to signal to the Citadel to summon aid."

"Good Liara got that message off. Just hope someone heard it. Why aren't the fleets responding to a damn firefight?"

"They cannot detect us - the nebula and debris prevent accurate readings and we are too far for a visual analysis."

The Normandy shook and Joker grumbled, shunting the ship between two hulking fragments of a Reaper. Lances of light tracered around them, "Goddamn fighters, they're herding us."

"Likely to allow the cruiser a direct shot with their spiral gun."

"Thank you for that EDI. What about the station?"

"No movement as yet."

Joker grimaced - he was damned if he was going to get outflown by a bunch of mercs. He'd taken on Collectors, Geth and Reapers. Debris or no debris, this was going to end badly for that cruiser.

* * *

Alenko cursed as another console sparked. Beside him the captured mercenary worked feverishly, swearing loudly.

"They're remotely locking us out. Trying to vent the corridors."

Kaidan slammed a hand down on a console, then activated his comm, "Status Vega?"

_"We've stopped him at the junction between engineering and the bridge. Got them bottled up. They got heavy weapons, but aren't firing - don't want to damage the station I reckon. Vasquez is down, Richards is wounded but stable. Ammo holding. We've switched to emergency thermals to preserve heat sinks. More time to let weapons cool, but…"_

"Yeah, keep them pinned, we'll see what we can do," He looked at the merc, "Why are you helping?"

"Because they'll kill me on principle. I may have told you something. So, may as well try to survive."

Kaidan shrugged and continued flashing through red-lined menus. He could really use EDI about now.

* * *

The sky car bucked as Miranda pushed the vehicle into a dive towards the warehouse district. Below they could see tracer fire and the signs of a running firefight. Shepard cursed.

"That is a lot of mercenaries."

"Gangs, vagrants, anyone with an axe to grind. C-Sec stirred up a hornets nest."

"Hell of a diversion."

Miranda swerved the vehicle, face set in a determined grimace. A rocket screamed past the vehicle, exploding behind them. Tracer fire lit the air around them. She pulled the vehicle up. Shepard shot her a look, "What are you doing?"

"Keeping us out of range. I can't land near them. They must be taking pot shots at anything that _looks_ like C-Sec."

Shepard growled to himself and brought up his omni tool, "Circle around and get as low as you can. Try to draw their fire as best you can, then get to Bailey's command post. I'll need you to guide him to us." The Admiral adjusted the shield emitter on his belt.

"Shepard, what are you doing?"

"What's necessary."

The sky car door flew open and Shepard rolled out.

"Shepard!"

* * *

Joker cursed again as another missile exploded, forcing him to choose an awkward path through a floating cloud of metal. He winced as he heard shrapnel graze the skin of the ship, the larger fragments pinwheeling away from the vessel's mass effect fields. Holographic displays showed the three fighters forming up behind them - a clear shot at their engines clearly available.

"Shit."

And then one of the fighters simple vanished. The other two pinwheeled away, making evasive manoeuvres. New contacts appeared: the sleek, oval shapes of Salarian fighters. six of them lanced through the murky clouds of the nebula, turning the hunters into the hunted.

_"SSV Normandy. This is Major Kirrahe. We have them on the run. STG Cruiser Vaelreen will provide boarding support. Commander Shepard has requested disabling the Cruiser."_

Joker grinned wolfishly, "Roger that Kirrahe. We're on it."

He gunned the engines and spun the Normandy in a 180 turn. On his screens he could see the Cruiser, the Captain evidently panicking at this sudden change, angling to find a clear path through the debris field, for a jump to FTL.

"Oh no you don't"

EDI seemed to offer a smug grin as he saw the firing solution present itself. Joker fired, sending bright beams of superheated metal screaming across the hundreds of kilometers and smack into the hull of the bulky merc cruiser.

* * *

Alenko blinked as he saw the flash out of the bridge viewport. A thanix blast slicing neatly through the enemy cruiser's mid-section. He watched the vessel begin to list, lights flickering as power began to fail. He practically punched the air. his comm crackled to life.

_"Sir, we got something happening. Gunfire. The geth are pushing hard, but the mercs are trying to bug out."_

Kaidan watched as the boards lit up green. He flicked through screens and chuckled as he saw five Salarian shuttles inbound. Sensors read another Cruiser moving into position to cover the docking bay.

"Reinforcements inbound. If you see a chance, push them back."

_"Understand. Right you sons of bitches, take it too them!"_

The comm disconnected as gunfire barked, the sound of a squad of Marines unleashing hell. Kaidan leaned against the console and exhaled. Another channel of the Comm crackled, _"Major Alenko. Or is it Captain? Major Kirrahe here. My team are inbound to your location. Hold the line."_

* * *

The descent was silent. The noise came as he hit the air bubble. The air erupted in noise: tracer fire lancing around him, missiles pinwheeling after the saw the warehouse below him, expanding to fill his view. Shepard's face was set in a grimace - he saw the shambling movement below, closing in on a single point. His hud beeped, showing his airspeed in red. Seven hundred metres. Six. Five. Four. Three.

Punch it.

He activated his omni tool which flared his shields to life. The small mass effect generator flashed as the element zero burned bright. As he hit one hundred metres his descent and he began to drift the last hundred metres. The air shimmered blue as his shields fizzled with the strain. He took stock as he floated down: twenty Geth platforms, at least. A sudden explosion seventy metres away brought a grim smile to his face. Keep fightin, Garrus.

He unslung the Widow rifle from his back, the top of a cargo container now barely five metres away, sighted at the furthermost Geth and fired. The synthetic practically exploded in a shower of metal and white spray. He pulled the bolt back, ejecting a spent heat sink, as his feet thudded against metal. Several Geth turned and he saw that only a few carried weapons.

He kept his movement fluid, hand moving from the still-extended bolt to grasp the SMG at his hip, left hand still holding the foregrip of the rifle. Walking forwards, he twisted the SMG at his waist and fired off three bursts, catching the nearest armed Geth in the eye-stalk. The machine shuddered and fell, not even shielded. Shepard released his grip on the SMG, slid his hand along his belt, gripped a heat sink and rammed it into the Widow. The bolt slid home, he sighted again and fired. Another Geth dropped. He stepped forwards again, dropping onto a lower container, bracing as best he could with his good knee.

The bolt slid back again, the hand gripped the SMG, another burst felling a closing Geth. Another heat sink into the rifle, another Geth dropped. he stepped off the container and hit the ground, wincing. The bolt came back - this time he pulled the SMG from his waist and jammed it into the chest of a Geth that lurched forwards, emptying the clip. The synthetic fell with an electric gurgle. Another Geth stepped forwards and Shepard side-stepped, pivotived and slammed the SMG into the back of the machine's cowled head. It stumbled and crashed into the side of the container, head bursting as the impact of a power-armour augmented hit forced it's momentum up.

Shepard dropped the shattered SMG and twisted his grip on the Widow, swinging it up and behind his right shoulder.. Another step forwards and another Geth. This one got an uppercut from a swinging anti-materiel rifle. It lifted a few feet in the air and crashed down. Shepard discarded the broken weapon and pulled the pistols from his side. Striding forwards, he counted the shots.

* * *

Garrus and Kasumi had taken about twelve of them down. They had pulled the container doors shut in a lull, resetting another tech mine. Now they huddled at the back of the container.

"What a way to go, hun."

"Yeah, not how I saw it."

"Sorry. Crap honeymoon."

"My own fault, falling for the hero."

"True." He sighed and coughed, his side beginning to hurt again. he saw his wife's eyes gleaming in the dark of the container, "But I'm still sorry. You could be living a good life. Somewhere on Earth. instead you got stuck with a career vigilante and all round idiot."

She smiled, her lip quivering slightly, "And you still chose the sarcastic thief with attachment issues. Why?"

"Because… because you made it worthwhile. You gave me peace. Because that smile just makes it all better."

Good. Now, stop being sentimental. How are we getting out of here?"

"You cloak, I cover you. You tell Shepard." He fished a grenade from his belt, their last, "Take a few of them with me,"

"Not going to happen"

"Dammit Kas… let me be the martyr. I'm not as good as the Commander at it, but please. I don't want you to…"

Her hand closed over the explosive, "Together, or not at all. I lost one partner and found you. I don't rate my chances for a third time."

He swallowed and nodded. Bother clutching the grenade, they pointed their pistols towards the doors. A hammering was coming from them, the distant sound of gunfire echoing.

"Make them count. And then on three…"

There was a crash from outside. A loud tearing noise. And then an orange lange of energy pierced the door, accompanied by an electrical gurgle. White fluid slid down the interior of the crate. The blade was removed and the door creaked open. Garrus tightened his grip on the trigger but froze when a voice spoke.

"I'd rather not get shot today. You guys want some alone time? I can be back in five."

* * *

Bailey arrived twenty minutes later. Shepard was propped on a bench in the warehouse, feeling very woozy and bleeding from a bullet wound to the shoulder. Kasumi fussed over him and Garrus as they chuckled over the situation.

"Seriously? Suicide pact? Damn."

Kasumi glared at him and he held up a hand in surrender, wincing as she applied another batch of medigel with a little more force than necessary. The sound of sky cars caused them to tense and reach for weapons, but they relaxed as they saw the blue lights flashing through the entryway. Bailey almost fainted as he entered.

"Jesus _Christ_ Shepard. Got a war going on out there."

"But you're here now."

"Yeah but _Jesus Christ_. We stirred up half the merc groups here - they all think we're raiding them. We found the outliers for this place, but by then it was a six way shootout. Got my teams cordoning a secure route here, but the Council's gonna be pissed that the trade docks are not going to be able to access goods. We've got a months worth of cleanup building. And now this!"

He took in the bodies - Geth and merc. Shepard shrugged.

"Blame these two for this lot. Mine are out back. But it seems like some mercs were storing Geth platforms. not true Geth, just the hardware. They're running a similar subroutine that Delenne got hit with. basic functions, like a LOKI mech. I think we just stopped an invasion."

"By who?"

Shepard shrugged and massaged his temple, swaying slightly. He checked his omni-tool as it blipped and took the call. Liara's face appeared on screen. He managed a lopsided smile.

"Go ahead. Is Kaidan…?"

_"In serious trouble when he gets back? Yes. But he is alive. There's quite a big setup here Shepard. It will take time to decode the data, even with EDI''s help. And the Salarians."_

Shepard nodded and chewed his lip, "And whoever did this now knows we know."

Liara shook her head, _"No. they know about your staging post being activated. But they do not know whether this base has been taken - the Cruiser we encountered jammed all transmissions. We have identified the communication channels, although we do not know the recipient. EDI believes she can fool them for a day or so. That will be enough to transfer the data and see why this station was operational."_

Some good news it seemed, Shepard blinked, feeling fatigue looming. He managed a nod, "Excellent. Well sweep here, see if we can't find out what they were doing. From what Garrus said, sounds like they were trying to hack into the Citadel systems, not sure which ones though. A lot of Geth here, well… Geth lookalikes," He got unsteadily to his feet, "Right now, get the Normandy to hold station - keep them thinking you've been compromised - if they have eyes on the station, they'll think you're gone. The Cruiser?"

_"Seized. We're running the same cover from there. I will send you the registration data for the vessel and anything of note."_

The line terminated and Shepard took another step. His leg buckled and he fell. Arms caught him and he found Miranda holding him up, glaring daggers at him.

"Never do that again."

"Hell, it's what I do. Little trick from my N7 days - overload the shield generator, gives you a nice drift to the ground. Wipes your shields, but good for a dramatic entrance and a tight LZ."

"You had no shields?" Miranda goggled at him. He smiled, eyes glazing slightly.

"Yeah. Didn't seem fair otherwise."

And with that, he was out like a light.

* * *

**A bit shorter this time - thought it'd be nice to have some action!**

**As always, please visit the forum or send me a message with feedback - I do my best to respond!**


	13. Chapter 13 - Revelations

Liara massaged her temples and leaned back in her chair, eyes skimming across the various details and bytes of information the servers had revealed. EDI stood beside her, head tilted to one side. A viewscreen flickered to life in front of her, revealing Feron, her Drell assistant. He looked astounded.

_"Liara, where did you get this? It's amazing!"_

Liara arched an eyebrow and smiled, "You sound excited. Found something?"

_"This is… it's a map of the entirety of a Geth runtime, analysed in real-time. It's the equivalent of sequencing a species DNA and identifying every strand. Amazing work, who-ever did it. I saw aspects of this in your older files. Quarian research, archived stuff. The Alerai was mentioned…"_

Liara stiffened and glanced at EDI. The AI nodded slowly, choosing her words carefully, "Work done by Admiral Rael'Zorah?"

"Potentially. Thought there are many who have tried to look at the Geth in detail, to understand AI research."

"Doctor T'Soni, the odds of this being a coincidence are too…"

"I know," snapped Liara, "But do you want to talk to Shepard about the possibility that the woman he loves is building a program that enslaves an entire species? I would not like to be in the room for that conversation. Anyway, we still don't know what organisation might be behind this. Too large scale for mercenaries; Cerberus doesn't exist any more. Salarians? Quarians? Those two are most likely."

Feron, still on the view screen looked puzzled, _"It is similar. Are we talking about Tali? I did some comparisons… and there are bits of code that match the data packs that we have used before - packs that became military standard during the Reaper War as a general anti-synthetic device. But look at these strands."_

Another screen lit up, showing the program in detail. Several threads and chunks of data lit up. EDi tilted her head, "These bear the signature style of Admiral Tali'Zorah. macro favouring, remote synching, coupled with a brute force approach."

Feron nodded, "But if you look at the pattern, you can see they have been inserted into a wider code. We have one item on the system that matches that patterning - the encoded signal deployed by one Admiral Daro'Xen during the Rannoch Conflict last year."

Liara tilted her head back and groaned, "So it _is_ the Quarians. Fantastic."

"I do not see how this is cause for celebration."

"EDI…" Liara looked at the silver face and glared as she realised the AI was smiling, "Oh good, you now understand sarcasm. Anyway, to what end are they doing this? Manual deployment seems too blunt."

"Further investigation is necessary. Doctor T'Soni, I will analyse the data with Feron. You should take a rest. It has been ten standard hours since we took possession of the data."

"Yes. A coffee would be nice. Thank you EDI."

She rose and stretched, hearing her vertebrae practically click with the exertion. With a sigh she exited the cabin and head for the kitchen unit. Kaidan and Vega were both hunched over the table nearby, reading through reports. She smiled and, after pouring a steaming mug of what passed for coffee, she joined them. Kaidan smiled up at her, Vega offering a vague wave.

"How goes the eternal search for truth."

"Slowly. Bad news is that I looks like the Quarians are involved. Good news is that Tali is probably not aware of it. It's legacy code. How is Shepard?"

"Resting; Miranda has him sedated apparently. Mad bastard practically tore his leg to pieces. She's doing what she can, but looks like he may be bed bound for a bit."

"If it stops him running off and causing more mischief, I am all for it."

Vega glanced up and grinned, "Fat chance, Doc. I mean he was already pretty busted up and he still air dropped into a combat zone. The shit that guy does for his friends."

Liara shook her head, "He appears to have a death wish."

Kaidan sipped his own copy, "Yeah; can't blame him much. The shit he's been through. The shit we put him through. He just keeps on going."

They fell into silence. Liara twisted her hands and sighed, "I tried to make it up to him. I spent so long after he came back just… asking for things. Demanding."

"Hey, how do you think I feel? After all the shit we went through, I flat out rejected him. Walked away. And he still lets me off with only a nod and a smile."

Vega frowned at the pair, "Yeah, you two really goofed. But _loco_… he has faith. Always does. Always comes through."

Kaidan looked at his XO and shook his head, "He's running on fumes. This whole things is so much so quickly. The man's practically just out of a coma. His last memories are of something happening on the Citadel, wiping out the Reapers and then finding out that the world's gone to shit."

"And you're losing faith again? Damn, sir…"

"No. I'm standing by him this time because I don't want to see him shoulder a whole crap ton of stuff," Kaidan leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through black hair that was slowly becoming a little too long by Alliance standards, "Where is this going? Are we going to find a huge conspiracy? Or is it some saren-like madman? And why should Shepard have to deal with it? because the galaxy can't sort itself out for ten minutes?"

Liara placed a hand on Kaidan's thigh and smiled, "Well, he isn't alone. He never has been."

Alenko nodded and sat forwards, "Well, we'll be ready when the call comes."

They turned as a cabin door hissed open and EDI emerged. She paused.

"I realise i could have spoken over the general comm, but I feel the levity of the information required a personal touch. We have traced the signal origin for communications to this outpost: Argus Rho. Information pertained to the "last transmission for the Geth" and a deadline of two days from today. 47 hours, 37 minutes and twelve seconds to be precise."

Kaidan was on his feet, "EDI, get Joker to set a course for Argos Rho. We haven't got time to waste. Let the Salarians know to hold the fort. Keep the ruse going."

Liara sighed and stood as well, "Back to work then. Thank you EDI. Let's see what else we can do with this data."

Vega looked between all of them, "Oh, my turn? Well, I'm going to go get some rack time. Enjoy kids!"

Laughing at their looks he backed out of the mess and headed for the crew quarters. Kaidan harrumphed and glanced at Liara, "I'll catch you in fifteen. It'll take about twelve hours to get to Argos Rho. That's if the relays are reliable. Please kick EDI out when I get there."

Liara suppressed a smile and nodded emphatically, then turned and headed back to the cabin, ready to crunch some numbers.

* * *

Shepard was finding the fact he kept waking up disorientated, yet comfortable, a mildly repetitive fact. He never minded comfort per se, just that the whole "not remembering how he got there" schtick was getting rather old. He moved slightly and regretted it instantly as he knee became a small, localised ball of fire and pain. He risked a look, expecting the bedsheets to be aflame. instead he just found a heavily bound and bandaged knee. There were small spots of blood on the dressing, a hint of surgery.

Groaning, he folded himself out of bed and grasped at his cane, helpfully propped against the bedside table. he gingerly tested his weight and found that, whilst it hurt, he could use it. He was glad to see that Miranda had left him the grace of underwear. Slowly, he got dressed and meandered out into the apartment proper. he could see from the landing that the window had been sealed with a mass effect field, the temporary generator humming just outside, clamped to the wall. It kept the smoke and the elements out.

Garrus and Kasumi were lounged on the sofa, the Turian sporting a sling and with a distinctively peaky look. Kasumi was fast asleep on his chest. He saw Garrus nod up at him, then hold a finger to his lips. Shepard descended as quietly as he could. As he got to the lounge he came face to face with Miranda who gave him a quick look up and down.

"I was hoping you'd rest for another few hours. I see your legendary constitution is still going strong. How's the knee."

"Hurts like hell. Tell me doc… how bad is it?" he feigned a shocked and worried expression. Miranda pursed her lips.

"You've nearly liquified the joint. the cybernetic fragments ground it to hell, but they're also holding it together. Definitely going to have to get you a cloned limb. I took the liberty of checking the Citadel surgeries - nothing yet, all their labs are busy churning out medicines and supplies. You'll have to wait. Which means no more jumping out of cars. And by extension no more of us going on crazy missions without backup."

Shepard looked down as his omni-tool chimed. He read the message and nodded slowly, mouth formed into an approving look. Miranda frowned and he showed her the message, "Just some of our friends heading off on a crazy mission without backup."

Miranda threw her arms up and made a disgusted noise, then walked past Shepard, heading for the stairs, "And with that, I'm out. Going to get some sleep for myself now. Please don't get yourself shot in the next six hours."

"Want me to call Traynor?"

Miranda paused and gave him a look that curled into a small smile, "No need…" She laughed as his face twisted into a shocked expression. Her laughter floated away as she practically skipped up the stairs. He glanced over at Garrus who just offer a shrug.

"Seriously. My apartment and I'm the only guy not getting any. You two better not have.. y'know… on the couch."

"Wouldn't dream of it Shep."

Kasumi's head popped up blearily and she giggled, "The kitchen, now. That's a different story."

Shepard goggled then waved a hand in front of his face, screwing his eyes up, "Jesus guys, I know you're happy to be alive and all, but I need to, like, cook off that… did you at least pick the buckshot out first?"

The Vakarians chuckled, "Just kidding Shep. Too freaking shattered for those sort of games. Plus Garrus here has the upper body strength of a baby pyjack right now."

Shepard limped across the room, through to a small office area beyond, "Well, you guys get some rest. Go on, use my bed. Sofa can't be that comfy. I need to do some work."

"Take a break Shepard!"

"Paperwork. Lots of sitting. And no shooting. go on, shoo."

He ignored the fact that it was now Kasumi who was practically skipping up the stairs. He slid into the office chair and sighed, transferring the data from his omnitool to the local terminal. He skimmed through the data, then leaned on the table scanning certain subsections in more detail. Liara had gone into depth. It was a rapid job, initial findings only, but it would suffice for the Council. And there was a silver lining in there somewhere:

Tali seemed innocent.

Part of him thought : "_how innocent_?" The part of him that still felt like a wounded animal. She may only be a part of the wider scheme, an innocent pawn, or possibly even an instigator.

She had changed, apparently. But that much? Would she be willing to watch the world fall down around her? Had she been that badly hurt? He scoffed at the idea, but it was still there, a malignant idea in his head.

However, first he had to play a part - there had been a request in the message from Liara. And it was a rather clever move - in line with what he wanted and it would allay suspicion. Kaidan had, apparently, already briefed Hackett. Shepard keyed a request into his comm and waited for the acknowledgements. Several live images flickered to life, projected above his terminal. The interim Council. The Asari looked cautious and the Salarian kept her face unreadable. The others seemed business as usual.

"Councillors, thank you for granting me this request."

"_Oh, now we're Councillors_…" That was Esheel, the Salarian, the bitterness very audible in her tone. Shepard smiled.

"You are for the moment, Ma'am. I wanted to present my initial findings concerning a troubling incident from yesterday. It's a little bit slapdash, but I can tell you what we know so far. I also have some far graver news to report."

He made a show of steeling himself. The Councillors seemed to notice, leaning forwards.

"At approximately 1930 hours, Citadel time, yesterday evening, all communications with SSV Normandy SR2 were lost. She was performing routine patrol checks in line with tje ongoing investigation, tracking a signal we believe relating to events. She was last reported in the vicinity of the Relay, heading towards a debris field at the rim of the Widow nebula. At the Alliance's request, a Salarian strike group was tasked to investigate and assist. They found no trace of the Normandy, nor any sign of a signal. It is the belief of the Alliance Admiralty board that the Normandy suffered a collision due to some form of interference from the debris field and jumped to FTL incorrectly. At this time, we have them listed as MIA."

He swallowed.

"As of yet, the Alliance is waiting to conduct a full investigation and has not yet informed the families."

All the of the Councillors were straight faced, the Korgan and Geth looking genuinely sad; the Turian flanged his mandibles carefully and Shepard knew right then that the man wasn't convinced. The hanar he had no idea. Jin was the one who spoke, however.

_"I am sure I speak for all of us, Admiraaal, when I say how deeply sorry we are to hear of your loss. It is always difficult when a Captain loses his command. That which defines him. We, of course, will respect your wishes for privacy. And I am sure my colleagues will join me in offering any assistance we can provide during the investigation."_

Shepard twitched. He couldn't quite read the tone - some overly layered sincerity? Sarcasm? Contempt? He merely nodded.

"Sir, you have my thanks. I know we have had our… disagreements, but your offer is truly appreciated. It is good to know the Alliance has friends. On that note, I wish to move to a more immediate concern."

The Councillors nodded, Jin settling back seemingly mollified and smug. Though that could have just been Shepard's imagination. He coughed and continued.

"Yesterday morning I was assaulted in this apartment. The suspect has been detained. However, there are two facts that make this case troubling: first is the possibility of indoctrination."

That got them talking, all trying to question him at once. Even the Geth joined in. Good girl! Shepard held up a hand. Somehow, it got them to quieten down.

"And secondly, we do not know the source. At this time I am still reviewing the capabilities of the Spectres, as requested by Councillor Victus. This includes whether or not the Spectres are, indeed, even necessary any more. C-Sec has proven resilient, proactive and forthright; the combined militaries of the Council have the reach necessary. Perhaps the time for Spectres is done."

The Councillors all looked a little suspicious then. Shepard barrelled onwards.

"Of course, I will prioritise the reformation to present all options. This case with the possible indoctrinated is possibly just a… fanatic. A remnant."

"_You are quick to dismiss this_." That was the Volus councillor - Barla Von, "_Hsshk - you have not told us much, Shepard. Hsshk_." The distinctive sound of the Volus' respirator cut through the comm like a knife. Shepard nodded slowly.

"True. I don't wish to jump to conclusions yet. Suffice to say, the assailant was not successful, nor were they a husk."

"_Don't play around, Shepard. What was it_?" The Krogan now.

Shepard sighed, "I will present these findings once the assailants family have been properly informed. I do not wish to prejudice the investigation at this time." He made an awkward face, as if he was uncomfortable concealing the fact.

"_With Conviction: Human_?" The Elcor now. Jorl.

"I cannot comment at this time. Suffice to say, we believe that the indoctrination signal was transmitted from a location in the Wards. We, that is Commander bailey and I, feel that it is a criminal gang responsible. I am sure you are aware of the ongoing cleaning operation in the Wards at this time. This is a result of this investigation.

"_Rather a lot of firepower being used for just a simple gang, Admiral._" Esheel again, sounding amused now.

"Never said simple, Councillor. The fact they seem able to wield a form of mind control is worrying. possibly the use of dr… I mean alternative methods. Hypnosis. Implants. Neural webs."

He liked that little slip. Make them think that it's an organic. And if one of them knows something, make them think we're panicking. Which we are, sort of. But they won't know how much. To the room as a whole, he said:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I wanted to give you a bit more insight. I will have a full report by tomorrow, once examinations have been completed. Right now i am a little distracted… as you can understand. And I will have the report on the new infrastructure by the end of the week. if that is all?"

The Councillors paused as one, but then nodded one by one. Their portraits winked out. A single text transmission burst through, however:

_Thank you. We await your findings - Descartes_

He hoped her faith wasn't misplaced.

* * *

The Normandy emerged through the relay into the Argus Rho system. Kaidan stood just behind the pilot's seat eyes scanning the inky blackness beyond.

"Y'know boss, we've got sensors. Better than eyes…"

Captain Alenko chuckled, "Seeing anything?"

EDI looked up from her spot in the co-pilot's chair, "Reading three vessels - a Quarian Cruiser with Geth Frigate Escort. The Cruiser is the "Moreh"... Admiral Daro'Xen's vessel."

The bridge went quiet. kaidan spoke first.

"What's their heading?"

"They are moving toward the relay, likely en route to the Citadel. This route is the most direct from Rannoch."

"Bit of a damn coincidence," he chimed the comm to Liara's cabin, "Liara, you seeing this."

_"Yes. I believe that they are running ahead of schedule. The fact that they are moving toward the relay, rather than already being in orbit around it would indicate they have visited a system."_

"Good point. Supply pickup maybe? Or a drop off? I guess Daro's on board."

_"As is Tali, I believe. She seems to have become less choosy in the company she keeps."_

Kaidan looked at Joker, "Can they detect us?"

"Nossir, stealth drives on full, and Geth don't use windows remember. Anyway, we're three thousand kilometres away. they can't get a visual. Which system?"

"Hydra, apparently. Wonder why it's out here?"

"En route, maybe? A good place to have a loyal supply base."

"Right. Well, I'm gonna suit up. Keep me informed."

"Will do boss."

* * *

An hour later, they found what they were looking for. It hung in orbit over Syba, a sickly blue planet. The station hung in the upper atmosphere, masked by the gas. But the signal frequency gave it away. Kaidan grimaced, checking his kit for the final time.

"Another station. And no STG to bail us out this time. Any capital ships in the area?"

"Not reading any sir." Joker's voice was muffled on the comm.

"Right. We'll go in hard, with a reserve team for our second shuttle. Once we're in, get distant. I want you to be able to hit whatever's down there. EDI and Liara are with me, as well as two marines. Vega, you'll command the reserve. I want you ready to haul our asses out of the fire if need be, but I'm not committing all our transport in the first run."

The hangar bay was a bit crowded, with the Normandy's troop contingent, Vega and Liara present. The hiss of the elevator announced EDI's arrival. He nodded at the AI and gestured at the shuttle. he looked at the crowd.

"We're here to retrieve data. We won't get into a firefight unless necessary. So far, this looks like a research station and a supply base. Intell from the Mercs said they had nothing to do with this place, so expect Quarians, potentially Geth. That means tech experts. But they won't be expecting a true AI and a pair of biotics. Any questions?" He nodded at the silent crowd then gestured to the shuttles, "Let's load up."

_"Unidentified vessel, this is Weather Station Kelsh'Rin. You are on an inbound trajectory. Please state your business. We are tracking you with out point defence."_

"Awfully antsy for a weather station," muttered Joker. out loud he said, "Kelsh'Rin, this is Alliance Vessel Normandy. We have suffered damage to our FTL drives and have minimal power. Requesting assistance."

_"We are unable to assist - we have limited repair teams and no capacity to aid stricken vessels. Have you messaged the Alliance?"_

"Negative, our comms are local only. I say again, we request assistance and medical support. We have injured aboard! C'mon, a shuttle? Please…"

The radio was silent for a moment, then the voice came again, "Halt your trajectory. We can dispatch medical teams and repair crews."

Joker smiled, "EDI?"

_"They have tried to jam our communications. They are also broadcasting a request addressed to the Moreh. I have successfully spoofed a response, allowing them to assist us."_

"Good. You in their system?"

_"Not yet. they have surprisingly effective firewalls. My mobile frame will need to be hardwired into the station to form a bridge. However, I have control of external communications and sensors - they will not see the shuttle."_

Joker smiled and commed Vega, "Hey big guy - expect company in the Hangar bay."

Ris'Vaar van Moreh was excited. This was a real catch - the Normandy! And wounded! Since this project had began he had been stuck on guard duty with his men, protecting a high risk facility. And yet it was in the middle of a spacing lane! The Admiral had insisted this would make it a perfect hiding spot.

But now they had the chance to seize a real prize, something that would allow them to advance the project - the AI housed aboard the Normandy itself. They had been told to assist by the Moreh: the station commander had chosen to interpret that as "seize".

The Quarian shuttle approached on an open vector. They could see the vessel clearly - the hull seemed intact, but the engines were firing sporadically. The hangar door hung open.

"We are about to claim one of the most famous ships in the Galaxy in the name of Rannoch. Tali'Zorah herself served aboard this vessel. It is only right it becomes ours. The Commander wishes us to seize the AI. briefing indicates that the vessel was damaged during an engagement at our Citadel facility, the pilot reporting a malfunction with the Relay causing them to drift through the network. Expect minimal resistance. Anyone fights back, kill them. otherwise, prisoners for interrogation."

His men nodded, readying shotguns. The shuttle roared into the bay, doors unfolding. The strike team emerged making haste towards the elevator. Lights flickered on the viewport above, showing power fluctuations. One of the marines twitched.

"Where's the damage?"

"What?"

"It looks too clean… no sign of combat."

"We haven't seen upstairs yet."

The elevator doors hissed open, showing it empty. A pair of marines entered. Ris turned to the rest of his squad. "Til, Shan, Vree and Prin, with me. Shur, Gel and Thim, secure the hangar. Comm their pilot, tell them we are heading to the bridge for a briefing and to do damage assessment."

They usually had ten marines aboard a frigate like this, as well as a standard crew of thirty regulars. Not armed at stations. Easy. First, to secure the bridge, then the AI, whichever deck it was. he checked his shotgun.

The doors hissed open and he was blinded by the sudden light as twelve high intensity torch beams focused on him. A human voice spoke.

"Stand down amigo. Would hate to rip your suit."

His visor shifted to dark and he groaned - twelve marines aiming straight at him. He considered hitting the button to go backdown, but he knew they'd lock the lift. His comm crackled.

"Sir, I have been told to tell you… there is no way off this ship."

Glaring, Ris'vaar dropped his shotgun.

Kaidan held his breath as their shuttle settled against the hull of the station. Carefully, suits sealed and helmets affixed, they took to the surface and began their approach.

"Your sure that this access port is going to work?"

"Yes, Captain. However, I do not understand the need for subterfuge."

"This station is connected to one where we were ambushed by a cruiser. it's claiming to be a weather station but has a thanix cannon. And going by the message from Vega, it tried to dispatch a strike team to take the Normandy."

"I see your point. What is your plan now?"

"Same as before. get in, get the data, get out, minimum gunfire. If we can persuade them to stand down, so much the better."

Liara chuckled, "Always the optimist."

EDI crouched next to a small service hatch, "I can scramble the system at this range - they will be unaware that this airlock has been triggered. it is small, so I advise two insertions. I have no schematic of the base so I cannot be sure which level we will be on - likely a maintenance floor, due to the need to access the external structure."

"Break it open then.

Kaiden and one of the Marines, Simmons, went in first, the airlock cycling through. They found themselves in a dimly lit, drab corridor. A moment later and they were joined by EDI, Liara and the second Marine, Wright. They advanced quickly down the corridor, towards a larger junction. A door to one side slid open, revealing a lab.

It was empty, save for a table of synthetic parts - Geth, primarily, but also products made by other races. the head of a LOKI mech, a Spyder security droid chassis and a FENRIS leg. EDI ignored these and approached a nearby terminal. Her eyes flickered momentarily.

"I am in. Oh…. oh no."

Liara moved quickly as the AI staggered briefly, "What is it."

"The things they… the things they are doing here. To the Geth. they have a shackled AI in a lab and they are… you would call it a lobotomy. Oh dear…"

EDI disconnected and shook herself. Liara held onto her, looking into her eyes. She offered a smile. EDI returned it. Kaidan hung back, not wanting to intrude. he gestured for the marines to cover the door. The AI seemed to get her bearings again.

"This is a localised terminal, but I now have a layout of the base - ten levels. We are on level eight - storage and minor testing. Three levels above is manufacturing and robotics labs. Level ten is cargo storage. Level one is the bridge and gunnery decks. Level two is the hangar. Decks three to five are the AI labs."

"Where do we need to go."

"The main server is on deck four. Crew compliment is forty, with eighteen marines, ten technicians and twelve scientists. this is one of three outposts run by Daro'Xen. This facility is focused on AI subversion."

EDI shook herself again, as if realising she sounded like a tour guide. Kaidan nodded and moved back into the hallway, "We need access. Lifts are vulnerable."

"Maintenance hatch at the end of the corridor."

"Right, let's move it people."

They ascended, carefully and quietly. The main contingent of marines seemed focused near the bridge, according to EDI, the rest of their compliment now safely aboard the Normandy. The base commander was getting slowly more and more antsy, however. His requests for updates were becoming more frequent and EDI was devoting part of her run time with faked messages back concerning firefights and sudden resistance aboard.

They reached deck four and moved quickly. A pair of Quarian technicians we surprised at their work, hunched over the twitching form of a Geth. Liara bowled them over with a biotic blast, the marines moving to secure them quickly, removing their omni-tools and fastening hands with quick-cuffs.

EDI moved to the twitching Geth and frowned. She ran a quick scan, "Most of this platform's runtime have been deleted. They appear to be studying the effects of a forced overwrite with code."

She spoke calmly and Liara moved quickly between EDI and the restrained Quarians, "EDI, we are here to stop this. let's get to the server."

The AI gave her a long look, then nodded slowly. She glanced down at the Quarians, her face suddenly forming into a snarl. It lasted a moment, but she moved quickly away with Liara. Kaidan looked down at the bound men and tutted, "You have no idea how lucky you are."

"Bosh'tet! you are in violation of sovereign…"

"Can it. You're torturing sentient beings and I'm a Spectre. Do not push me."

That shut them up. In the next room EDI patched into the server. Liara rested a hand on her shoulder.

"We will stop this. Get this data to Shepard, stop whatever they're planning. Root it out."

"It will not stop, Doctor T'Soni."

Liara blinked: the AI's voice sounded… sad, hopeless.

"What do you mean?"

"Every time we prevent a disaster, someone else steps in. Someone tries to destroy the world, tries to tear apart the peace," EDI looked at Liara and shook her head, "Are synthetics and organics destined to always torture one another?"

EDI blinked as Liara suddenly embraced her

"No. Individuals might try. there will always be people with impure motives. But organics kill organics. We are cruel, kind and erratic in our own ways EDI. Only by working together will we prove such foolish notions wrong. Do not give into that despair."

She leaned back, hands on EDI's shoulders and smiled.

"After all, Jeff would only claim he was right, and you cannot let that happen."

EDI smiled and nodded.

"You are right, Liara. That was my first… experience of despair. I will catalogue it to be wary of it next time…. data transfer finished, mass uploading to Normandy secure server. I can inform you of one bit of good news, Doctor, to relay to the Admiral."

"Yes?"

"Admiral Tali'Zorah is ignorant of this base's purpose. She is innocent."

* * *

**Ok this one got a bit big - so I've split the chapter in two. Big stuff happening soon.**

**Conspiracy revealed! Who'd have thunk it, eh? Lots of exposition next chapter, big idea of what's going to go down! And why.**

**And maybe someone gets some proper "ahem" face time.**


	14. Chapter 14 - Loose Ends

Liara felt relieved; a bit of good news amidst the nightmare. He smiled and seemed to sag a little.

"Good. But how do you know?"

"This station is one of three. The other two are public stations, one under the Command of Admiral Tali'Zorah. Mission files state that it is a research station co-staffed by Geth and Quarians in orbit around Rannoch. Research notes state that Tali has been conducted voluntary studies on Geth AI consciousness to assist them with the transition. There have been requests from Admiral Daro'Xen filed for particulars of her research to "assist" in Geth and Quarian compatibility. these file segments have been transferred here."

"And the other base?"

"A Geth platform R&D site, in the Perseus Veil. There are dummy requisitions, requesting parts and spares. This station is a shadow operation, making use of research and developments by the Quarians."

Liara shook her head slowly, "And the data you've found?"

"Shows Geth being tortured, lobotomised and controlled by the Quarians. This data could still be harmful to Tali in the public domain. It could be harmful to the Quarian race."

Kaidan stepped in, "Political discourse later - we are in hostile territory and they could be…"

The lighting turned red and sirens began to wail. Liara grimaced.

"I think they know we are here."

EDI shuddered and staggered away from the server, "Transfer complete… but I have been locked out of the systems. Feed-feed-feed-feed back."

The AI sank to her knees. Kaidan bent down and slipped her arm over his shoulder, "I think that's our cue to leave."

They exited the lab, but were forced to duck back in as bullets ricocheted off of bulkheads. Kaidan growled, "Only a matter of time. Change of plans. We head to the bridge, seize the station and hold it as evidence." The marines, Simmons and Wright, leaned out and began to lay down cover fire. Kaidan looked at Liara, "Hun, would you mind?"

"My pleasure."

Wrapping a biotic field about herself, Liara stepped into the corridor. Bullets impacted against her barrier, barely even denting it.

_"I will destroy you!"_

She thrust her arms forwards, sending a blast of biotic energy rippling down the corridor. They heard the cries of alarm and the crack of people landing hard against bulkheads and decking. The marines surged forwards, kicking weapons aside, before levelling weapons at the stunned Quarians. Kaidan touched his ear and grinned.

"Guys, I'd hold onto something if I were you…"

The Quarians looked puzzled, but were only halfway to their feet when the station shook, sending them crashing to the floor again. The marines, Liara, Kaidan and EDI, on the other hand, had gripped at what ever they could and remained standing. Liara snarled at the subdued Quarians.

"Stand. Down."

* * *

Captain Trella'Zin nar Moreh vas Morkleih growled. The blasted frigate had captured half his marine compliment and he now had reports of intruders aboard his station. Admiral Xen was going to have his head. He had no desire to be the next test subject for the Geth puppets.

"Report!"

"We last had them reported in the data-store. Something's in the systems… Keelah, they've taken _everything._"

The Captain's voice was thick and dull when he spoke, "What?"

"I… I don't know. They just mass downloaded our data. Activated AI countermeasure. There… they're out…"

"Sergeant Pran reports contact. Two hostiles… Sergeant? Sergeant! Marine team has gone dark."

"Dammit, light that frigate up. I want it scrapped. At least they won't be getting out of here with…"

On the screen he watched the Normandy orient itself and gawped as a lance of light speared towards the station. He was thrown from his command chair, consoles around him erupting in sparks.

"Fires on gunnery deck - the thanix generators are offline. The cannon's gone sir! We have casualty reports. Sounding general alert and evacuation…"

"Belay that! We stand and we fight…"

Behind him, the access elevators opened, revealing six kneeling Quarian marines and five very armed non-Quarians. The lead human grinned at him.

"Oh go on, give it a try. Stand down Captain, we're here on Council business."

The Captain lunged at a console, but collapsed with a cry as a bullet sliced through his thigh.

"Nice try. Next one is through your visor. EDI, what did he try to do."

"Emergency transmission. I would hypothesise that it would relay the current version of the Geth control code to be transmitted. I have the data, but have not extrapolated the means by which the signal would permeate all Geth units."

Kaidan walked across the bridge, his marines keeping the other cowering crew-members covered. He squatted down next to the Captain and held up a medigel sachet.

"I think we have time for a talk, don't we? Get Joker on the line, deactivate all security systems and keep the decks sealed. Are there any sapient Geth left on board, EDI?"

"I have twenty restrained platforms listed as still operational according to the ship manifest."

"Get them out of here and into the Normandy. Transmit what we have to Shepard. Secure banding. And as for you Captain, we're going to have a talk. Order your men to stand down."

"I am a Quarian. We do not give up our ships so…"

"If you don't, then maybe I should just release those Geth into the hallways, let them wander around… lost, confused… angry."

"You work for Shepard… he would never…."

"Shepard is a lot of things. One thing in particular," Kaidan leaned forwards, "He's not here."

Captain Trella'Zin nar Moreh vas Morkleih made a life decision.

Shepard jerked awake. He'd dozed off in his office chair. He squinted out the window: that was the trouble with the Citadel - you couldn't tell what time it was by the position of the sun, or appreciate a cloudless night. It was always twilight in the wards and always sunny on the Presidium. Yes, it had a day/night cycle, but everything was always so well lit, it made no odds. He glanced at the terminal in front of him, which was flashing with several unread messages.

He saw that most were from liara and EDI, including one which was a large cache - it was marked as a priority and had a templated cover sheet included in the surface message. He blinked at the data summary, feeling a wash of emotions roll over him: Tali wasn't involved, at least not consciously. He read through the message and grunted - there was a lot of data, apparently. The pertinent and most recent had been transferred to him. The Normandy was bringing the rest, along with several prisoners. They had requested Alliance support. A neutral party, he supposed. idly he flicked access for kasumi and garrus - if he was going to have an evening of dull documents, no reason to read alone.

Standing he limped over to the kitchen counter and rummaged around, stopping after a few minutes.

They'd hidden the alcohol. Bastards.

He stood up and sighed. Well, regardless, things were going to ramp up soon. But he'd have to handle it carefully. The data here would… well, it could cause another Morning War. He paused as the door chimed. Frowning, he made his way over and clicked it open.

His heart nearly stopped. His throat went dry. His hands felt clammy and he realised he hadn't shaved for several days.

She looked more austere, as she had on the vid comm. At least she wasn't wearing armour. Her hood no longer had the swell and arch it used too, more utilitarian and tight to her helmet, as it had been on her Pilgrimage. The purples were darker and she looked more military now. taking in details, he noticed two Quarian marines stood behind her. He managed to resist the urge to dive for cover.

"Admiral Tali'Zorah… I wasn't… I didn't think you'd be…"

She turned and gestured to the two marines, speaking in clipped tones, "Wait downstairs. I doubt that an Alliance representative would try anything. This is an unofficial visit."

The marines nodded and, with a wary glance at Shepard, departed. He shuffled to one side, allowing Tali to enter. She practically stalked into the apartment.

"So, um, can I get you anything? Got a water purifier. And a steriliser from… the party…" he swallowed again, watching her carefully. Tali, for her part, walked into the living area and stopped. She seemed to be taking in the damage. Slowly, she turned.

"I would have thought you would have cleared up. It's been a _year_ since the war."

Ah, so that's how it was going to be. He limped forwards and he could feel her eyes focusing in on the cane. He kept moving, but paused as he saw her tense at his approach. He stopped , keeping a couch between them.

"Yeah. I know. I was pretty much out of it. Alliance kept my survival a secret. What do you want me to say Tali? I can apologise, but really what could I have done?"

She said nothing, but her eyes shot up and met his. He nearly rocked back under gaze, "What could you have done? I don't know Shepard. All I know is that I'm trying to move on. And then you're back."

She turned and began to pace. He saw her holding her arms at her sides. Rigid.

"Tali I…"

"No, you _bosh'tet_. Don't "Tali" me. Don't try and make this _better_." she paused and jabbed a finger at him. He managed to walk a little closer as she resumed her pacing, "I was moving on. I met Jin… started working on something that made sense. Helping, building. And then you just pop up again, as if nothing has changed!"

He stopped as she spun on him again, "That's good, Tali… I mean… "

"You _left_ me John. I saw you run. I saw you go to _die_. And you didn't _care._"

He bristled, "So, I should have stayed, watched us all die? Watched you die? I couldn't bear that."

"You made me watch you die. Made me care. I wanted to die with you. I learned then… don't get too close."

He jerked back, her words like ice, "So what is it with Jin? Tali… I wanted more than anything…. I wanted to give you a future."

"He is kind to me, in his way. He cares about our people. _He_ can give me a future. You saved my life John. You really did. But now… now I need to look at what matters."

He looked at her, seeing her eyes glimmer under the helmet. More so than shook his head, "Tali, there's a lot going on. Things happening…"

"I don't care, Shepard. I have my people back. I have a chance at… something. Maybe a family."

Shepard felt his throat catch, his head hanging, "So. Those words on Rannoch. I guess… I guess I'm just the front-line fling? You stood by me before."

"I saw you die once. We were friends. And then I loved you. And I saw you go through hell. And then you _died_ again. When was it ever really us? It was war and madness and desperation."

"You felt _obligated_ to humour me?" His voice contained a hint of anger. Tali shook her head.

"No, I don't… No. But I have responsibilities, Shepard. Duties. This wedding will be a moment of truth. I don't want to be… I don't know."

Through his confusion and anger he saw her hands: clenched into fists, held tight at her side. He saw her, the Admiral. And he saw her: the girl. Chained by duty, by loss. What was he doing, putting her through this? For a crush? She deserved _better_. She deserved happiness. He sagged.

"You're right. I shouldn't be a complication," he tried to smile, but it became a sneer, his anger mixing in his gut. Tali took a step forwards. Her words were a choked hiss.

"Shepard. I saw you die. _You left me, bleeding_. You ran. I hoped for months and wished. And then you were gone and…. and… then I started finding work. Things to just make me feel something. Something other than… anger. The geth needed help adapting. Daro has really made strides. I found… purpose again. And Jin… he gave me that sense of duty. The knowledge that my people still need guiding. We're building something. A chance for Quarians."

Shepard nodded, head feeling thick and foggy. She was babbling - nervous, unsure. But right now, he didn't know how to read it. It was as if the last eleven months had just come shunting back, "Something… to hope for."

"Well, I… I … and suddenly you're back and I don't... I am so _angr_y with you. You hurt me so much. I saw you burning. And then we had no body. And I hoped and I… and everyone just moved on. Gave up. But we'd always seen you come back. We'd always hoped. And then it was just me hoping. And you didn't come back. _You left me alone._"

He saw her shoulders shaking, her voice choking out sobs. His throat wanted to speak. He wanted to embrace her. He was at a loss. He let out a shuddering breath.

"It would have been easier if I had died."

The slap caught him by surprise. Very much so. It caught him across his left cheek and practically spun him. He braced against his left leg, which buckled, the cane skidding across the floor. He hit the floor hard, knee first. Pain lanced through his leg, eyes popping with stars. He yelled in pain. He managed to look up and his face must have been a vision - hurt, shock, grief. Tali was shaking, her hands up by her mouth piece. She bent down, an arm reaching for him.

"Sh...Shepard. I… I'm… please."

"What the hell?"

Garrus was on the landing, glaring down. He practically skidded down the stairs, growling. tali looked panicked.

"We were… and then… and… I didn't mean."

"You didn't mean? What the _hell_ did you do?"

The Turian was practically looming over her. tali managed a half choked sob and practically sprinted. Shepard held up a hand,

"**Tali**! Tali…" he slumped, the sobs caught in his throat. Kasumi gave Garrus a look, gestured at Shepard, then took off out the door. The Turian shook his head and squatted down next to the Admiral.

"You ok boss?"

"Garrus, why'd you do that? I was… "

"Getting your ass handed to you by a grieving Quarian. Yeah."

"I need to… go after…"

"No. Right now, you need painkillers. And rest. I saw you sleeping in the office. It's not enough - you're fried boss. And she isn't helping. You've worked yourself up over this."

Shepard clenched his teeth and snarled, "I could've… done something. Cleared the air."

Garrus shook his head, "Shepard…. no you couldn't. She needs to work it out. The girl's running. Has been for a year. And that's got her priorities skewed."

"Yeah... and I tipped her over the edge. Fucking brilliant. She's right. She needs to move on," He pushed Garrus' arm away, managing to lever himself up the wall to a standing position, "And I have a meeting to attend to. I'm done."

"What…?"

"You heard me. I'm done. Done. I'm submitting my recommendations to the Council in the morning. Now, please… I just want… some time. I'm going for a walk."

Wincing with every step, Shepard limped to his study, retrieved his jacket and headed for the door. garrus made to help him, but Shepard held up a hand.

"Vakarian, right now I am in a bad place. It won't involve any alcohol. Best thing you can do is go through the data I sent you. Put together a C-Sec detail. I want Admiral Daro'Xen taken into custody. I want to think."

And with that, Shepard disappeared out into the bustle of the Citadel.

* * *

Jin'Draxen vas Tranlor walked sedately through the grand lobby that was the currently a grand building site. In a days time, he would be married to the most recognisable Quarian maiden in the Flotilla. they would link environment suits and become one. Her mind and grace couple with his vision would lead them to greatness. Ever since meeting her he had admired her conviction. Her passion. And whilst it was at times misplaced, he had guided her back onto the right Quarian path. She had seemed lost when they had met. He liked to think he had helped. Daro'Xen had been right about her - she was brilliant. And she would make a good wife. Of course, she would have to step down as Admiral. But she would be happy, he knew.

His office door slid open and he frowned at the darkness, "Lights!"

"Sorry about that. I think better in the dark."

Jin froze at the voice. Silver eyes narrowed behind a yellow visor, "Shepard. What the hell are you here for? Get out!"

"_Sit down._"

"How dare y-"

"Sit. Down."

Wordlessly, Jin found himself taking a seat. In the gloom he could make out Shepard reading through a data pad. They sat in silence for a moment, with Jin about to deliver a cutting remark, when Shepard broke the silence.

"You know, a lot of people have tried to kill me. Assassins, Reapers, Collectors, Geth. Not many Quarians. You're the first I think."

Jin sat stock still, then leaned back slowly, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please. I have all the data. Your little relay station in the debris field. Mine now. Daro'Xens little lab of horrors. Mine too. Your mercenaries? Rounded up. Nice try with the dummy accounts. Stupid. Should've got an Asari to advise you. They've been doing this longer."

The datapad clattered on the desk. Jin felt augmented eyes focus on him. Inside his suit he realised he was sweating. The man was a cripple! Deficient! Why was he so…?

"You could try taking me. I know Quarians are deceptively strong. All in the legs. And while I would love to choke you, watching that life ebb from your eyes I have something bigger to concern me. The data I have… it's big. Now in all this, you're small fry. Hell, from what my team tells me, you're somewhere in the pecking of order about minion two hundred and seventy three. Frankly, you're the sort of person I kill on the way to real problems."

"Why are you telling me this? Why not arrest me? Or can't you?"

"I could do. Lots of bureaucracy. Lots of problems. And probably a war. This data, as I said, is big. It'd destroy you politically. It's going to tear Daro'Xen into pieces. But, unfortunately, it will also hurt someone very dear to me."

"Tali'Zorah…." Jin hissed, "She is to be mine human…"

"Yeah, I get that. So we're going to cover some ground rules. Part of me believes you want another trophy. I look at this room and all I see are prizes - statues, achievements. Maybe you think you care, but right now you need to know you won't be treating her like some acquisition."

Jin stared at the figure in the shadows, trying to work out the man's angle, "So… what? You protect me and I just….?"

"_No_. I protect Tali. I go against everything legal that is screaming at me to just gut you here and now. I don't want your people to end up fighting the Geth again because of this information. I don't want Tali strung up as an example. I don't want this stinking galaxy tearing itself to ribbons because one idiot thought they would try the same tricks again. The deal is you do your utmost to preserve the peace. You kiss as much metal Geth ass as you need to. You make nice with everyone. You make this world better."

Jin cocked his head, "I cannot promise…."

"Oh you can and you will. And you will make sure she is happy. Every damn day. Because if you don't; if the world teeters on war because of some mad scientists; or if she ever has a moment where she is anything but gloriously happy with her future, I will bring the whole thing down. I will_ burn_ you. I will rip that suit off and leave you to stew on the Volus homeworld. And then I will destroy _everything_ you have built."

Jin sat stock still as Shepard rose. He heard the click of the man's cane as he walked towards the door. He turned as the man paused at the door. Shepard turned to regard him, silhouetted against the doorframe.

"Do not make me come back Jin'Draxen nar Moreh vas Tranlor jar Rannoch."

Alone, Jin vomited into his suit. He lay on the floor and shook. He stayed that way for a while, until the fear abated.

* * *

**Feel free to hate me. This isn't the end, trust me. **

**There are two parts, the second is coming up tomorrow - it needs some heavy editing, but I think... well, you'll see.**

**I tried to handle Tali's grief in an understandable way. She is, essentially, suffering MAJOR ptsd. Or the Quarian equivalent. She's grieving, but doesn't _think_ she is. Trying to be in control.**

**And she just snapped.**

**As always, opinions on a postcard. Wait until the next chapter before you judge TOO harshly! We'll get more of Tali's perspective.**


	15. Chapter 15 - Springs Eternal

She had run. She hadn't known where she was going. The marines had tried to stop her, but she had just leapt into the sky car and gone. Their frantic communications were met with silence. Now the car weaved, ducking through traffic, her driving erratic. Her mind was awhirl, barriers breaking. It was supposed to have been easy. She was an _Admiral_: to just tell him to go away. Break it off cordially, to never show his face, that was what she had wanted to say. To tell him it was _done_. That she was fine and would forever been fine.

But seeing him standing there, scarred and broken: it had broken her again. And to see him fall. The watch the man just crumble.

It had been horrid.

The car settled into a cradle and she reached up to her visor. She cursed the barrier, for the first time in eleven months. It had been a shield but now it was just a block for herself. She couldn't even dry her own eyes.

Trying to get the tears under control she managed to clamber from the car. She glanced around and blinked, recognising the area, dimly. She walked, pushing through the crowds. Even here, on the upper wards, there were crowds - more refugees. Some turned to watch her, curious: with Rannoch reclaimed Quarians were even rarer, most having flocked home. Wordlessly she pushed through the throng, down access stairs, through a cluttered market and into a dim, red lit alleyway. Her breath shuddered in her chest: it was still the same. Somehow, through the war, the destruction, this one, insignificant place was untouched?

Silence reigned, the walls cutting off the hustle and bustle of the wards. She leaned back between two piles of supply crates and slid to the floor. Admiral Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Neema sunk her head into her hands and wept.

* * *

The files were detailed. Horrifyingly detailed. The evidence was, as always, sketchy.. Bad things were happening, but linking it to a specific individual was going to be hard. part of him was tempted to just dump it on the Council, but that would at best land the whole thing in a mire or, worse, cause a rift with the Quarians, Geth and damn near everyone.

The question was: what was the point? You couldn't transmit that sort of virus en mass and expect it to not be countered pretty quickly. This had to be a quick win weapon. Something that hit everywhere that the Geth were at once, subverting them or weakening them enough that you could dominate them on masse. There was no transmitter anywhere that could do that, aside from the Citadel and the mass relays…

Garrus froze.

But that's what the mercs had been doing, wasn't it? Trying to tap into the Citadel?

Shepard had asked him to They needed to parse this information - the dull side of any investigation: the paperwork. He keyed up his comm and pinged for Jondum. The Salarian's face appeared, looking frustrated.

_"Ah, General Vakarian Nothing new to report here - the station is shut down. The crew are being very helpful. We even found a Quarian. Twitchy little fellow. He has been… most illuminating."_

"Jondum. Please assure me that that station has no dead-switches, hidden transmitters or anything else?"

_"We deactivated three different redundant transmitters, all pointed at the Citadel. Why?"_

"And have you swept the surrounding debris field?" Garrus scratched his fringe - this station was huge. How could they stop anyone transmitting to it? You could set up any number of comm buoys in the damn nebula, fire a pulse at the Citadel and watch it blast the signal out across the Galaxy. On the other end of the comm, Jondum nodded slowly.

_"We did a sweep in a thousand kilometer radius around this point. No other comm buoys found. I think I know what is worrying you - a repeat of the transmission from a few days ago?"_

Garrus nodded slowly, eyes narrowing, "Yes… but we didn't exactly go into specifics…."

_"As I said, the Quarian has been very helpful. He has assured me that the project they are working on is at only an interim stage. The transmission has to be maintained. And since this station has been compromised, a repeat action is unlikely. It would require both a substantial VI network and access to remote relay station near to your location to have a discernable impact."_

So. The Geth that had attacked him had been a test run? Damn. "If your cruiser detects any repeat transmissions, they have my permission to engage and destroy. I'll advise the Turian fleet… and see if the Alliance'll play ball. Captain Alenko should be able to back us on that."

_"Understood General. I would appreciate a more thorough debrief later. I do understand this concerns the Geth. To what end, I do not know, however."_

Garrus nodded, thanked Jondum, then disconnected the link. He got to his feet and headed out out of the office and towards the kitchen, still scanning through the files on his omni-tool. An update from Kaidan informed him they had taken the main station, the source of the transmissions and he felt himself relax more. He had put out an order to discretely detain Admiral Daro'Xen on the order of the Council. The missive had been sent using Shepard's authorisation - messy, but it needed to be done. One loose end tied up at least. Then it was just what the hell to do with this evidence? It was too big for him to even get his head around.

As he scrolled through the data a particular file caught his attention - an audio transcript of a long distance communication - it had logged the day before. with a shrug, Garrus played the data. the voices were distorted, but Quarian. He listened and clacked his mandibles. This…. this was bad. He sighed, then commed Kasumi.

"Any luck?"

_"Damn she's good. nearly as good as me! Drives like a demon. Lost her somewhere in the Upper Wards, didn't see where she landed."_

Garrus flexed his mandibles thoughtfully, then keyed up some information on his tool, sending it to his wife, "Try there. If it's still around that'd be the place. Weird, but maybe it makes sense. You sure she hasn't gone running back to the fiance?"

_"Garrus don't be an asshole. What the hell were you playing at back there anyway! You saw her. She's one of our closest friends!"_

Garrus leaned against the kitchen counter, "Yeah…. I know. Just seeing Shepard like that… he's done so damn much. And I know, she is in a bad place, but she wasn't on the floor looking like her whole world just imploded. You didn't see his eyes afterwards Kasumi."

_"No I didn't, I just saw someone who sees you as a brother run away, terrified. I know you meant well, but that was not good, Garrus. "_

"I…. yeah. Find her. She'll be there. I'll be along shortly. I think we all need to clear the air."

Kasumi disconnected and Garrus flinched: first row, what a milestone. After heading upstairs to brief Miranda, who had surprised him by being fully clothed whilst in the presence of Samantha Traynor, he headed out to flag a cab.

* * *

The med bay door slid open, revealing a clean, clinical room. He flinched slightly, the machines bringing back some unpleasant memories. isolation. Fear. Nightmares.

**I know you feel this.**

A voice from his past, promising pain and salvation. part of him had begged for sweet oblivion, to be freed from the burden of carrying an entire galaxy. But he had pushed on. He had stared down the devil. Seen the bleating madness of its mind. And he had won.

Now he was the nightmare. And he didn't really know how he felt about that.

The figure atop the room's sole gurney turned a flashlight head to regard him.

_"Admiral Shepard. it is… good to see you. I detect increased stress on your upper Tibia and severe fragmentation of your left patella. Do you require medical aid? I could summon…"_

He held up a hand, "Relax, Delenne. How are you feeling?"

_"I am… operating at 87% efficiency. The technicians have purged the rogue code and restored my mobility to within optimal parameters. Currently I am…." She cocked her head at his amused expression and her eye-flaps raised, her shoulders doing a semi shrug, "I have… felt…. better. But I am still alive. Is that why you are here? To request a status report?"_

"Sort of. But not for an official reason. I wanted to make sure you were ok. And to apologise… for what I did."

_"Admiral… Shepard; if you had not done what you did I would no longer be able to hold an exchange. Or you would be terminated and… I feel I would not be comfortable if that had been the outcome."_

Shepard dragged a chair over to beside the bed and sat down, exhaling heavily. The leg pain was bearable, but he could feel it dulling his mind. He managed a smile, however.

"Well, I'm just glad you're ok. I wanted to let you know - we found the source of the signal. We got the bastards. I don't know if that means anything - but I know that having your mind… not be your own is a difficult thing to come to terms with. I wanted you to know it wasn't your fault as well. And I wanted to let you know that I am not going to let anyone do this to you or your people ever again."

He patted the side of the gurney and nodded, then paused as he felt a soft, artificial hand lay atop his. Delenne lifted it and squeezed. She was looking straight down, silent. Her voice was somehow softer, yet still in that electronic, synthesised echo that all Geth spoke with.

_"Thank you. I am having difficulty processing the… reality. My runtimes stipulated that I was operating at maximum efficiency and yet I was not me. I did not want it. Geth do not have the same concept of revenge. Merely survival. And yet I find I am… relieved. A threat has been removed. But it is more." He eye came up and focused on him, "Thank you. The Geth owe you another debt."_

Shepard's mouth twisted into a grimace, "No. No one owes me anything. I did what I had to do to keep things… going. To make things right. But now," he heaved a sigh, "I think it's time to pass that torch on. I wanted to ask a favour of you, Delenne. I won't demand anything, but I think if anyone can help, it'll probably be you. You know what to look for now."

Delenne arched an eye-flap. _"Ask."_

"Watch Tali'Zorah for me. When she's on the Citadel. Ask any Geth you know to… keep her safe. Whatever comes next. And make sure that Jin'Draxen keeps his promise to make her happy."

_"He promised this?"_

Shepard smiled mirthlessly, "Yes." Slowly, the Admiral stood, "So, if you could. But only if you can. Good day Officer Delenne. Keelah Se'lai."

"Not the most scenic of nightspots. Personally, I hit a bar after Keiji. Of course that was three systems away, with just the clothes on my back."

Tali's helmet shot up her sobs becoming a choke. The air atop a crate shimmered revealing a frowning thief. Tali tried to glare, but another sob scrunched up her eyes, "Go away."

"Now why would I do that? It's been nearly a year Tali. You don't write as much. Heck you haven't even asked about the blue."

Tali looked up and blinked - kasumi was right: there was _blue_ on her face. Lines across cheeks, "Wha- blue?"

"Yeah, you aren't the only one who can get hitched you know. Not letting you have all the wedding fun. Especially as you wouldn't let me dress you up or play bridesmaid." Kasumi pouted and folded one leg over the other in a huff. Despite herself Tali coughed out a laugh, but she quickly looked away. There was the thud of feet hitting deck and the soft padding of kasumi's feet. A presence slid down beside her, "So, you are in there somewhere."

Tali's face shot round, a glare ready, but she flinched as she met Kasumi's eyes. The sharp retort on her tongue died under that gaze. instead she managed, "What do you mean?"

"I mean the feisty girl who put together a shotgun with nothing but a tube and some spark-plugs. A Quarian who saw some guy knocked down by a Krogan and vaulted from cover to blow the damn thing's head off. A woman who spent hours talking with me with nothing but the stars out a window. My friend."

Tali tilted her head, "Of course I… we've always been."

"No Tali. This is the first conversation we've had in six months. We barely had one of those when the Normandy docked on Earth. What happened, hun?"

Tali's head sunk, "What do you think? My world was _gone_. I moved on. I grew up."

"Bullshit."

Tali reared back, "Wh- what? How _dare_…"

Kasumi pursed her lips and snorted, Tali scrabbling to pull away. Kasumi's hand flashed out and gripped Tali's upper arm firmly, pulling her back to a seating position, "Ah, no. Not yet. Don't try that Admiral crap on me. I was at your trial. I saw you shout them down. So don't think I'll put up with it from you missy."

"_Missy?!_"

"Yeah. I think I've earned the right to be snarky with you. I cried on your shoulder often enough. As Jack would say, payback's a bitch."

Tali stared at Kasumi, her body caught between fight and flight. Which got turned into utter-off-balance with the next statement.

"So, this is where you two met?"

"I am… what, oh, um, yes… it was an ambush. A trap by Saren. I thought I was going to die and then…"

_A Turian, all white face paint and backlit neon. Two Salarians, armed to the teeth. The Turian had trailed a talon along her cowl, making her skin crawl._

_"Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?"_

_She had slapped his hand away. He had merely smirked._

_"They'll be here. Where's the evidence?"_

_"No way, the deal's off."_

_The Turian's head had snapped up and he had taken a nonchalant step backwards. She had seen the two Salarians moved. Without thinking she had flung a grenade and dived for cover. Her heart had been beating madly, her suit warning her of increased adrenaline and impacts to her mass effect field. She had pulled the shotgun from her back, felt it shake in her grip. She had only been on Pilgrimage for a few weeks and now she was going to die… or worse… in some stinking alley away from home. She had managed to lean out to see the Turian advancing. And then she had seen his head explode. The Salarians behind him had tried to move but one had been slammed into a wall by a biotic blue glow, the impact so hard she heard his bones snap. The second was practically flipped backwards by another heavy round, his head as much a mess as the Turian's._

_She had turned, shotgun raised, to see three new figures: a Krogan, a Turian and a human. They had weapons out, but after a moment of tension, had stowed them. Cautiously she had lowered her weapon. her heart was beating hard, her adrenaline still running high._

_"Fist set me up!" I knew I couldn't trust him," Her voice had been strained, angry. The human had stepped forwards, indicating for the aliens to check the bodies. he had removed his helmet, revealing a face frowning with concern._

_"Were you hurt in the fight?"_

_A fight? That wasn't a fight - that had been pest control the way these three had walked onto the scene. She had managed to put a little confidence in her voice: she had faced down Geth!_

_"I know how to look after myself; not that i don't appreciate the help. Who are you?"_

_She kept a grip on her shotgun. At this range, if he had ill intent, the round would penetrate the barrier and take his head clean off. The Turian and the Krogan would be an issue though. The human had glanced down at her weapon and smiled. A genuine smile - she was getting used to reading humans and knew that expression._

_"My name's Shepard. I'm looking for evidence that proves Saren's a traitor."_

_She exhaled. They wanted something. She'd be able to repay this debt at least ._

_"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But not here. We need to go somewhere safe."_

_The Turian had interrupted then, "We should take her to the human embassy. Your ambassador will want to hear this."_

_The human had nodded, then given her a look which she realised was a non- question. He was seeing if she would agree? Asking her, rather than just… taking her? Slowly she had nodded. He had replaced his helmet and indicated for her to follow them._

Tali shook herself from the memory, "So, yes… quite an introduction."

"So why come back here?"

"Because… because for the first time in my Pilgrimage I had felt safe. Someone actually gave a damn. Even if it was for data. And then… then I realised that he'd have helped even if he didn't know who I w...was."

She rocked slightly and hissed, trying to hold the tears back. Kasumi patted her shoulder.

"So, what about Jin?"

"What about him?" Tali snapped.

"Aaaah. Not all a bed of roses then?"

"No bed at all… he was… kind. We met on the Moreh. I wanted to work. I wanted to do _something_. Admiral Xen was working with the new Geth Conclave. It was weird, she was working with them. I helped as liaison. Built some new R&D designs, adaptability for new platforms to cope with the self-aware subroutines. Jin was there, getting started on his political career. We talked. He talked. He was… a presence. Noise."

"You love him?" the words were soft, as if anything louder would spook her. Tali scoffed.

"Why would I? He is… safe. Secure. He will never ask for much from me. I may be able to have… a family. Normal." Her voice cracked a little there. She turned her visor to Kasumi, a frown in her voice, "Why am I telling you this?"

"Because you need to tell someone. And I was your best friend on the Normandy."

"...not quite…" Tali's voice was faint. Kasumi pressed the advantage.

"Yeah, well, I came close. So, you're marrying someone who's a safe bet and a politician. Hey, I can't judge. I married a cop."

"_Vakarian_?" Tali goggled, "You mean… you and Garrus? I thought the blue was a… a human thing. Like your little purple thing on your lip!"

"_Seriously_? How did you not notice Tali? Oh wait… distracted. Makes sense. That's two of you…"

Tali turned her head away, "That… that was a long time…"

"Yeah yeah. So, you get the house, white picket fence and domestic misery. Well done Tali. I mean, I knew you were clever, but I never had you pegged as going so far as to come round the other side as an utter moron."

Tali turned her head slowly and gawped at her. Kasumi returned the gaze unflinchingly. After a few minutes Tali managed to speak.

"What did you just say?"

"Oh we've been over this. You're settling and you know it. You just said so. What, a normal life? After the three years we've had? Bullshit. Bull. Shit. You'll snap…" she tilted her head and breathed out, "No. You already snapped. This is… something else."

Tali stood and stalked across the alley, folding her arms, "Stop it."

Kasumi rose as well, "This isn't just losing someone. I know how that feels."

"_Stop it._"

"This is worse…"

"I said stop!" Tali turned around and flung her arms down, "Please…. please stop…. I… I can't…"

Kasumi stepped forwards and hugged the Quarian. She felt the girl flinch, then felt the weight as Tali sagged into her, "Oh Tali. Tali… you… you haven't been close to anyone have you?"

The Quarian heaved breaths, her eyes dry from weeping as she clung to Kasumi, "He died Kasumi…. then he came back. He always comes back. Always. And then he died again. I could say… say so many things. But… but there was no time, no time at all. We had dreams and promises and he broke them and he left and he died. We had time to say things and then he… and now he's back and I can't watch him die again."

Kasumi gently pulled herself back, "Why don't you tell him?"

Tali shook her head, "I can't… it hurts. I've lost him _twice_."

Kasumi shaking her jolted her thoughts. The woman was snarling, "And now you're losing him again you… you… you _bosh'tet_. God damn you're a selfish stupid idiot." The thief let her go and Tali sagged against a wall, hurt in her eyes. Kasumi was practically trembling, "You had a second chance with a man you never told you loved, with someone who cared. I got a memory box. I lost someone who was my _other_. And damn that I'm not lucky that Garrus is here for me now. Wouldn't trade _that_. But a while back I would have thrown myself into a star to see Keiji again for real. For just one moment. Not a shadow. And now, gods know why, you're being given a third chance and you're spitting on it. Because you're afraid."

"This marriage is important! It will have two clans uniting… it will be a symbol of progress and… and this way Shepard can have a life too."

"Then you owe him the truth at least. He saved your people. If you owe him anything, you owe him the truth that you don't love him. That you've moved on. You owe him the chance to accept it. And maybe if you say it often enough, you'll believe it. Like I believed having that greybox was being with Keiji again. When you can look Shepard in the eye and tell him, hand on heart that it means _nothing_."

Tali tried to speak, "It's not that si-"

"Yes it damn well is! I was about to kick Garrus' bony but really cute ass all over this station for the way he shouted at you. But now I'm a step away from just… walking away. You're the woman who faced down your own people. You have taken brutes on, faced down threshers and now you're scared of love. Damn."

Kasumi leaned against some crates and exhaled. Tali's voice, when she spoke, was small.

"It isn't… my people need me now. Our lives… he can have a future, children. Maybe I can… try to move on. I know I haven't and it isn't fair. I ca-"

"The same people who had you tried for treason. Who nearly suicided themselves because they wouldn't listen to you. The same people who are being pretty, isolationist and reactionary with all of us?" Kasumi snorted, "I don't know… I really don't."

Tali slumped, "I just… I still, still care. About them. I'm _Quarian._" She looked up as Kasumi laid a hand on her shoulder. Tali was still trembling, "I don't know if I have the strength… I wanted to let go so badly… but I still lo… lov. Dammit, it hurts. I can't do this…."

Footsteps echoed in the alley - a Turian came into view: Garrus. He nodded at Kasumi, who stepped away, then looked over at Tali. She was still shaking, arms wrapped around her torso.

"Hey."

She stiffened at his approach, but relaxed when he spoke. She felt off balance - utterly drained. "Hi Garrus… I… don't know what's…"

"You're right in the middle of something bad Tali. I wish you weren't, And not just… this." He waved a hand vaguely. Garrus' mandibles flanged, "I just had Admiral Xen arrested. Attempted genocide. Crimes against the galaxy. Unsanctioned experiments against sapient beings. And you know what: she was using your code. Your data."

He hung his head. Tali stared at him, then spoke, her voice flat. "What."

He managed a shrug, "Listen tali… I'm sorry for shouting. It's been…. a heavy couple of days. Bad shit Tali. Shouldn't have taken it out on you. Shepard's been… working like a demon. When he just needs to take a breather. You know what he's like."

She managed a weak laugh, no mirth there though, "Yeah… always being a… a stupid bosh'tet."

Kasumi looked at Tali, eyes locked on hers, "You know someone tried to kill him?"

Tali's head shot up and she hissed, eyes wide. She staggered and shook herself, "What?"

Kasumi nodded, "Couple of days ago. Repurposed a Geth. Forced her to try to murder him. In his own home. So, y'know what. Run. Hide. What does it matter to you. You've moved on."

"That's not… fair. Who? Who did it? Why?"

Garrus looked at Kasumi who chewed the inside of her cheek. The thief gave a half shrug, then turned away. Tali felt her heart sink: another friend lost. Someone else alienated. Except whereas before she had distance enough to ignore it, now it was right here in front of her. Her throat caught again, "Kasumi… I.."

Garrus stepped between the two and placed a hand on her shoulder. he smiled at her, gently "She'll be fine. I think she's… disappointed. It's sad, I know. It's damn hard. We lost him too. But it's never easy, is it? Seeing someone you blame for things? Seeing them walk away. Trying to forgive them and yourself."

Tali looked into those blue eyes. Eyes that had tried desperately to reassure her as she screamed her loss to the stars. He nodded slowly and she swallowed. The brother she'd never had. "You mean Sidonis… but that was different… he betrayed you…"

"But he had his reasons. And Shepard's were a hell of a lot more noble and left all of us alive. I found something. I don't think Shepard knows about this. Maybe he thinks he's doing something good for you. Always did try to fix us. But you know what? I think we sometimes need to fix him."

Tali shook her head, "I'm not…"

"Don't try to lie to me Tali. I'm a detective. She's a master manipulator. You're only fooling yourself. And it's killing you." He tapped his omni tool, bringing an audio file up, "Now, in the spirit of an informed debate, let's review something."

He pressed play. Quarian voices echoed in the alleyway.

_"You have made a grave error."_

_"The man was a threat."_

_"To your impending nuptials; nothing more. Your actions have compromised my project."_

_"But you won't tell me what the project is!"_

_"Of course not. You are a fool and the less you know the better. Suffice to say it will deliver the new era for our people that you have been promising the galactic community. We will have to slow the pace to avoid rousing further suspicion."_

_"I got you those mercenaries. I got the parts into the warehouse district. I saw what was inside. I can guess, Admiraaal. A mech program. Augmenting the Quarian military. Geth subversion. A useful countermeasure. Quite a surprising toy, controlling a Geth so completely."_

_"You have been digging. I would advise you go no further I don't think you can manage to see the scope. You have what you wanted. And Tali'Zorah's assistance has made this possible. It would be a shame should there be an… issue."_

_"No!... No. She is… dear to me. I wanted to assist. To be part of this future."_

_"Sentimental. Just like your father. Always cared about his pets. Well, you got your heroine. Ensure the transmitters are up on schedule. And no more… meddling."_

_"I don't see why this is a major problem. It is just a mech control program. At worst the Geth get blamed. And who cares about that."_

_"You lack vision. At the least, you are sure he does not suspect?"_

_"The fool is obviously panicking. He does not wish to upset things. He is a broken man. His ship is gone."_

_"That troubles me. It just vanished?"_

_"The mercenaries confirmed it. It investigate their location, fled and impacted debris, before vanishing through the relay. Your assets are intact."_

_"Then refrain from any more fits of jealousy. We lost an entire batch because of this little stunt. And our Citadel data. Your triggering of the test subject was ill-advised. All because you feared losing that little trophy."_

_"I have men tracking the Keepers. Honestly, I can do more if you just told me why you need the Citadel. A countermeasure in case we are sidelined? My efforts make that redundant. We are respected. Even if we have to work with Geth. And Aliens."_

_"We shall see. We are ahead of schedule. Tali is aboard and we shall be with you in a day at most. Then we can get this foolish romantic event done with."_

_"I look forwards to welcoming you. I will have everything ready."_

The audio cut out. Tali stared at nothing for a long time. Her hands flexed. He gaze had become unfocused. When she spoke, it was with a calm that made Garrus take a step backwards.

"He needs to die."


	16. Chapter 16 - Closure

"Was that wise?"

"Was talking working?"

"Hey, I was getting through…"

"She's in denial. She's an engineer: she needs a problem with solid aspects that she can disassemble and reassemble."

"So what, we traumatise her even more?"

"No, we stop the self-pitying funk she's got into.

""Funk"? Where did you get that one from?"

"Oh, one of your old vids…"

"Wow, you've really taken to the whole human culture."

"Like you mind…"

"Point, now we should hurry, she's a damn fast mover."

The Vakarians sprinted along the ward access corridor, a figure in purple a few metres ahead. She moved with purpose, dodging easily amongst the crowd. They emerged on the Presidium, heading straight for the Citadel tower. Garrus looked down at his omni tool and blanched, "Oh hell. She just downloaded all the files."

"What?!"

"She… she must have bypassed and gone straight for the secure files…"

"We better speed up!"

They saw Tali enter the elevator, saw the doors shut and watched it rise. They stumbled to a halt, panting. Garrus swore, shaking his head, "Well, either she's gone to tip off the current boyfriend…"

"Or we're going to have to explain to the Council why they're one short."

* * *

Jin'Draxen sat at his desk, trying to read through reports. His eyes wouldn't focus. His skin felt tight. C-Sec had just informed him, as a courtesy, that Admiral Daro'Xen had been detained at the dock. The Moreh had been impounded under spectre authority. He had wanted to protest, to start trouble.

But he knew that it would be a bad idea. For all his preening, he had that streak of self preservation. One of the Councillors had queried why he had not lodged a protest and whether he needed reminding of procedures. It had been the damn Turian. The man had been smirking he was sure of it. Patronising bosh'tet.

The door to his office slid open. He looked up and managed a smile, possessive and victorious. Here, he at least, he had a consolation prize.

A shotgun planted against your visor has a way of redefining the world, however. He swallowed.

"You scheming little _worm_. What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

"Admiral Tali'Zorah. I… what is the meaning of this… We are to be marr-"

"Like _hell_ we are. I have had a really _really_ bad day. And maybe I can make it better."

The shotgun pressed a little closer. Jin swallowed.

"Please… please don't be angry… he'll kill me."

"_He_ will? You mean…. Shepard?"

"He said to keep you happy. To keep you smiling! Please! He said… he said he would hurt me."

Tali blinked. She had slapped him. She had pushed him away. Screamed. Tried… and he was still fighting battles for her. She rubbed the side of her mask with her free hand.

Dammit.

Damn him. But thank Keelah for him. Oh she was an _idiot_.

She focused back on Jin, "You used me. You and Xen. You took what I made for the good of our people. And you twisted it. And then you made a big mistake: you tried to kill him."

"We are getting married! What is one human? It was a filthy filthy mistake surely? You came back to us, all forgiven."

She stared at him. When she spoke, it was carefully and slowly, as if to a child, "I. Have. A. Shotgun. Do not _push_ me Jin. Was it all lies then? Or was I to be another… trophy." Tali spared the room a glance, "All I see here, is trinkets, baubles. So, I was to be the trophy _bondmate_? The tamed heroine to boost your career? Whilst you looked to take away the only thing that really _mattered_?"

"Tali… you came back so lost. So alone. But… we made you better! You moved on from that foolish fancy. And he gave his blessing… not that it was needed, but still… we can build a new Rannoch, make us great. Quarians charting a path through the stars, but with a home…"

His words: that was always his appeal, something that had, on some level, reminded her of Shepard. He always spoke so well, so confidently. Jin had always the right words. But now she listened, they came over as hollow. Full of ego. A shadow. But then, hadn't she been one too? Drifting, days filled with data and dreamless sleep. Not feeling, trying to avoid feeling.

And then that message from Liara. The blurred images from a press conference. And she had felt the rage, the hurt. And the loss: that she could never be with him because _he might go again_.

She was an utter utter fool. Kasumi was right. How could she not love a man that was so utterly utterly mad and reckless and willing to put up with her, willing to threaten a damn _Councillor _to keep her safe? Why had she been running? He would always _be there_. And that knowledge gave her more clarity than all the repairs and simulations and projects done over the past year combined.

Well now she would stand. She would do him proud. Even if it meant never seeing him again. She would do what Shepard would.

Slowly she withdrew the shotgun. Jin relaxed.

"Thank you. Now, I will overlook this. Obviously you saw him… a bad idea - it has evidently stressed you out… wait, what are you doing?"

Tali had her omni tool open. Files streamed out. She shrugged, "I am merely making the information on you, Admiral Daro'Xen and my own research available on the extranet. I have a VI auto forwarding relevant data to the Councillors."

Jin staggered back, "_What? But… But that could mean war_! The Geth will kill us all in retribution! Our names will be stricken! We will be worse than outcasts. Our ships will reject us, our clans. I will be stripped of my position!"

"So, you knew."

"No! I mean, I ah…. I was aware… of some things. I knew the Geth could be controlled…"

She snarled, "And so you sent one of them to _kill_ the man who gave us our home. The man who saved us. The man I _should be marrying_." She stopped and swayed as the reality of her words punched into her. She recovered and refocused on the cowering Jin, "_You are a disgrace_. So know when I say this, I say it with pride. I may be forced to spend the rest of my days in prison. But it will be totally worth it to know you are _nothing_. I am glad we never linked environments. I don't think I could live with your stench."

"But quite happy for a human's musk!" He cringed back at the words, his bravado forgotten against that stare. Tali cocked her head and looked around the room.

"I'd run if I were you Jin. I don't just have a shotgun." She fished something from a pouch and pressed a button. "I also have a grenade." She smiled and flung it at the golden statue, where it stuck, adhesive sealants securing it in place. The explosive began to beep, faster and faster. With a strangled cry, Jin scrambled from the room. Tali, allowed herself a slightly manic giggle, then sprinted out. The bomb detonated just as she cleared the door and dived out of the way.

There was a flash as the incendiary device engulfed the room in flame. it billowed from the door, then was sucked back in by the secondary device's implosion, clearing the frame. Jin lifted himself unsteadily from the floor, people beginning to rush over at the explosion, sirens sounding in the distance. he peered around the room and wailed.

Several C-sec officers were approaching, weapons drawn. Tali stood arms clasped behind her. She nodded in recognition at Commander Bailey.

"Commander… I have just dump-transmitted several files to the extranet and the Council. I place myself in your custody. I would advise you take the Quarian Councillor into similar custody… for his own protection."

Bailey looked her up and down, "Files? What files? All I know is that something just went boom on the Presidium. Don't rightly know if this is a good idea, Ma'am. It's tense now…"

"Nevertheless Commander, I submit myself to your custody."

_"That will not be necessary."_

The electronic reverberation came from a Geth unit, azure in colour. The unit wore a strange imitation of Quarian garb across it's platform. The unit inclined its head at Tali.

"Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

"It's… vas Neema, actually…."

_"Really. I am not usually mistaken. Councillor Descartes. A pleasure. And an honour to meet a friend of the Progenitor."_

Tali nodded, frowning, "Legion? Yes… A pleasure. But I don't understand."

_"You had faith in the Progenitor. Likewise afford us that same faith. We have reviewed your data. We feel there is no need for further enquiry as per your involvement."_

"But…I only just... I made those files, those AI routines! I am responsible!"

_"Are the Quarians of old responsible for the deaths on Eden Prime?_"

"What, no! I mean, well… in a certain sense…"

_"Could they have forseen that event from where they stood, creating a new crop duster? Do you blame the butterfly for the unintended consequence of its passage? The hurricane that furls from its wings? Would you crush every thing of beauty to prevent a hurricane?"_

The Geth turned as another unit approached. This one was C-Sec blue. they exchanged a brief conversation, a few mathematical clicks and whirs. Descartes turned back to a thoroughly confused Tali, _"Those who had the folly to plan have been detained. We know Shepard sought to protect. We know he thought to preserve peace. But risk is inherent in the universe: we Geth must show we are worthy to stand within it. We must be better. We must see things as they are. We must be willing to know fear and pain. As the Admiral said: no more secrets."_

The Unit known as Descartes turned towards a thoroughly confused Bailey.

_"Commander, I believe there has been some form of technical problem with the Quarian Councillor's chambers. I would advise he be taken to a medical wing and secured."_

"She threw a grenade! And she threatened me with a shotgun!"

_"As you can see, he is clearly delusional. I will raise a vote of no confidence for my colleagues..."_

"You can't do this! You're just a machine! A tool... Unhand me, let me _go_..."

They watched as a pair of C-sec officers restrained the man. Bailey frowned and consulted his omni-tool, glancing between Tali and the Geth Councillor. He waved at his men to take the struggling Quarian away, then nodded slowly at Descartes. "It would appear that Admiral Tali'Zorah here has been... most helpful in exposing a terrible crime. Working with an investigation team. I don't think we need trouble her."

Tali watched as the Commander quirked a grin at her. He threw up a salute with his non-synthetic hand, winked at her, and departed. Descartes turned to Tali and inclined her head.

_"I believe you have an appointment, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."_

"What…?"

_"Admiral Shepard is en route to the Ward docking ring. He has chartered a vessel. You have approximately twenty three minutes before he departs. His ship registers no known destination."_

She didn't think. She just managed a quick nod and ran, sprinting towards the elevators. Garrus and Kasumi were just stepping out. She hauled both of them in. She managed a sheepish look, even through the helmet: dipping her head.

"Kasumi, Garrus... I want to apologise... no time... I need a lift…"

Garrus grinned, "Where to ma'am?"

* * *

Shepard leaned on the customs desk and sighed.

"No, I am not MIA. Or KIA. That record should've been rescinded. I am back on active duty, as you can clearly see from my Spectre record."

The Geth customs officer looked over the screen, _"Apologies, but your record stipulates that you resigned today."_

"Yes, well, but that means…"

_"Ergo you are not a spectre. Thus you are not on active duty. This means you can still be listed as KIA or MIA."_

"But I'm stood right here! You have my biometric scans!"

_"Possible clone. Incident from 16 months ago, standard galactic time. Precedent."_

"But my records have been updated! I'm an Alliance Admiral, John Shepard."

The Geth made a show of looking over the records again. it paused and nodded slowly.

_"John Shepard?"_

"Yes!"

_"Apologies, believed you stipulated Jane Shepard. Have located your correct file. For the purposes of this departure, will you be taking items over…."_ the Geth continued its litany of checkpoints. Shepard leaned his hand on his arm, groaning, _"...or any agricultural goods worth over 652c?"_

"No!"

_"Thank you sir, you may proceed."_

"Sometimes I wonder if you're putting that newfound sentience to good use…." grumbled Shepard. He hefted his duffel bag, which felt light and began to limp towards the security gates that led to the private charters. Something sparked and the gates slammed shut. Shepard leaned his head back and groaned. He just wanted to go. To get away. Didn't he deserve some peace, something to go right for him for more than an hour straight?

He turned to shout at the poor Geth but paused. Frozen as he looked across the near deserted departure area. Kasumi and Garrus stood at the entrance, hanging back. He could see blue flashing lights beyond them - C-sec cruiser sky-cars.

But that was all background clutter. She stood there, hands twisting in front of her. She kept glancing at him, shifting from foot to foot. She deactivated her omnio tool, powering down the overload she had just triggered. He swallowed. _Please… no. I can't handle another… I just want to go. Have they brought her to apologise? She doesn't need to. i just need to get the hell away from... everyone._

"Admiral Tali'Zorah. Come to see me off? Make sure I make my shuttle?" That was mean. He knew it. But he couldn't stop the bitterness ebbing slightly into his voice. He managed to smile, making his voice light. "I would've thought you would be preparing for the ceremony."

She watched him. He was leaning heavily on the cane, but still able to stand upright. His air of command hadn't gone, but he seemed more withdrawn. Cautious. Wary.

Of her. She felt her heart tremble. Slowly, she managed to speak.

"I see you chartered a ship. Why? Trying to get that holiday you kept putting in for?"

She managed a laugh too, nervous, tentative. Slowly she took a step forwards. Beneath her helmet she licked her lips and took a breath. She saw him tense and paused, "Just... taking a break. Give you that space you wanted. You and... the Councillor."

"The wedding… will not be happening. Irreconcilable differences. " She gestured with her left hand, "He wanted to enslave a sapient race, albeit without really getting what that meant and I… didn't." she managed another small laugh, "Shotguns may have been involved."

He looked surprised and adjusted his grip on the black duffel, "But… your people. Weren't they expecting…"

"I think… I think my people can look after themselves. And they need to decide what to do with war criminals. Alongside the Geth. That is our choice. As you said to them: no secrets. Start again," She stepped forwards again, slowly, "Which brings me to… us. No secrets Shepard."

He stood there for what seemed an age. She nearly jumps when he breaths, "I don't know Tali… I... don't know if I can handle… these past few weeks have been hell. And then you flat out tell me to back off and now this? I can't handle the back and forth… it's too much right now."

She felt her stomach churn. Her body was ready to turn and flee. But some part of her, something that had pushed past those doubts, the part that had tried to fight as she was bleeding and watching him run for that damn beam; the part that saw him trying to be a martyr again.

"No. It is not. It was never too much between us. I watched the Normandy burn and I never said how I felt - I was a girl. Then I saw you again and _Keelah_ it was the best damn day of my life. And I still said nothing. And we had a few days, so short and then you went back to the Alliance. They took you from me. You came back and you _gave me back my world_. You saved my people. Dammit John, how does_ anyone_ repay that? And then you ran and I had to watch you go… and I couldn't help you. I couldn't be there with you. And if I couldn't have you what was the point? It was… never your fault. It was mine. If I hadn't been hit, maybe you would have been quicker to the beam, survived without me losing you. I would have made it there with you. Stood by your side, together to the end."

Her head bowed. John blinked, physically leaning back as she practically bared her soul, "Tali…"

"Not finished...I wanted that house John. I buried everything. Hid. I wanted to die… but couldn't do it. And now you're back… and I didn't know what to do. I had so many things, so many plans. And it just felt… too painful. Every time we had a chance, something happened. Politics. A war. Idiots. I was so worried that.. .that I'd lose you again… and now I am about to lose you… again."

She gave a little shrug and tilted her head. He swallowed and let the duffel bag slide from his shoulder. He ran his hand through his hair and half turned away. His thoughts were difficult, the blood slamming through him, heart beating far too fast. He heard her speak again.

"Please say something John. _Please._ What do you want?"

He was stunned. He felt flanked, under fire. Fighting for so long, all you have left is cynicism. He was expecting something to crash through a wall, or a messenger with an urgent demand, or maybe even a summons to face retrial. He shook his head slowly.

"What do I want? Now you ask me? No one ever asks that. Right now, part of me wants to run and hide. To not inflict _me_ on you anymore. I mean look at me. What is there left? A broken old soldier." He massaged the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezed shut, "All I have are nightmares, fears. All I am is a reputation with a limp. What do I even _mean_ to you? I hurt you so badly Tali that you ran to another person… a person, it seems, you didn't even really give a damn about. What the hell?"

He swallowed, trying to stop the shaking in his limbs. He saw her, silently watching, eyes shimmering. He could get lost in those eyes. Had got lost in them.

"Honestly? I want to just know where I stand. I mean you're in pain. You _were_ in pain. Can I live with myself for putting you through that? I _want_ to just hold you. I _want_ to see your face. I _want_ to hide us away from this world and pretend none of it matters. I _want_ to do things to you that would make an Asari blush. I _want_ to be more than just some form of stress relief. I _want_ you to know what you mean to me and I want to believe you see me than more as some favour to repay. I want to know if it's fair on you to be with someone like me if you don't really love me, because the only measure of peace I ever get is when I know you are happy. To hear you laugh. To see you smile again. I _want_ to spend the rest of my life with you. But I won't if all it is is you doing your duty."

His head sagged. After the past day, he was expecting a sharp rebuke, an apology, some form of stammered excuse. Maybe a sob. Or a denial: that would've made it easier. Painful but easier - to just walk away and be forgotten. Then he felt hands grasping his. He blinked and looked up. A purple visor was in front of him. She raised his hands to her helmet and let go. There was the hiss of seals releasing. He reached to stop her, words forming on his lips, worry in his eyes, but they died as she lifted the mask away.

She was still as beautiful as the first time he'd seen her - silver-white eyes amid sharp accentuated features. Her eyes were watery, tears streaking down her grey-purple skin. Her mouth set in a trembling smile.

"Stupid bosh'tet. It was never duty."

He was stunned; this wasn't a clean room, "But you said... Tali it's not…"

"Lots of immuno suppressants and Geth suit reinforcements." She smiled at him and shrugged, "Part of ongoing treatment. But useful. And I know what I said... I was trying to push you away, make it _easier._"

She looked at him, a trembling smile on her tear streaked face. "_Idiot_ - I knew I loved you when you strode through that door on Haestrom. Always there, always fighting. Never leaving me. And I just… I was stupid. I am not being a bosh'tet and letting you go. Ever again."

He felt her hand on the back of his head and felt lips against his - hot to the touch and soft. He blinked but his body remembered. His arms wrapped around her waist and the world ceased to matter. He drew back after what seemed an eternity. The universe at last slotted into place. The sounds of the small crowd in the lounge cheering faded to a background buzz. Tali gazed at him, a smile on her face. She spoke, hesitantly.

"I was such an idiot. I am… sorry. I will… can you forgive…"

"Nothing to forgive. I'm sorry I wasn't here. I left one hell of a mess.."

"You saved the galaxy… I think it earns a pass."

He chuckled. He held her close, part of him terrified that if he let go she would vanish again.

"Maybe...It's been tough. Are you sure…? I mean, this is rather a big step… If you need space to get your..."

Tali leaned back and stared at him. Her forehead creased into a frown, "You know, I have been in a bad place. A _very_ bad place. I hated and I was angry and now… I'm not. So, I will warn you now: I have a shotgun. You have another knee."

She gave him a mock glare, but her trembling lip completely ruined the look. He laughed, the first real release in days. He hugged her again, his lips finding hers again. They broke apart after what seemed hours. "Point taken."

She sighed, laying her head against his chest, "And I think that had to be one of the worst proposals I've ever heard. And one of the best."

Shepard blinked, then looked down at the Quarian in front of him. His brain did a quick double-take of the conversation. Tali leaned back again, arms still draped over his shoulders. He looked into those eyes and realised something. She giggled and tilted her head.

"Practically baring your soul. Me bearing mine? In front of an audience. Isn't that how it's supposed to be done?"

Shepard looked across at the crowd. It was bigger now. Garrus gave him two thumbs up and then gave Kasumi a one-armed hug. The pair turned and began to shoo the crowd away. Amongst the C-sec, he noticed a familiar, blue Geth platform. It bobbed it's head and disappeared into the throng. Shepard looked back down at Tali.

"Well… it usually involves a ring… or an item of some importance."

"You did give me a rock…" Tali patted a pouch, "Just took you a long time to follow through."

He swallowed and nodded slowly, "So… not a front line fling? Not some passing fancy or a rebound? I hear cancelling a wedding can do horrors for your perspective."

Tali pulled herself up and kissed him.

"No. For the first time in so long... this is real, _you are real_." she whispered, "Real and mine." 


	17. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

His palms were clammy and no matter how many times he clenched his fists he couldn't stop the slight tremor that ran through his arms. He could hear the whispered murmurs of the crowd behind him, but he kept his eyes fixed on a point approximately six feet in front of him, just above the small balding bureaucrat in front of him. He felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Just breath."

"I… I'm fine. I just don't know what's going to happen."

"Yes you do. She's going to walk through that door, bond herself to you and then control your life from now on. Not that she didn't already."

"You and her both."

"Hey, I just sign your paycheck, Kaidan. And keep your record clean. She decides what colour the nursery is going to be."

Captain Alenko glanced at his best man. Shepard grinned back at him, then gave him a reassuring wink. Kaidan managed to exhale a shuddering breath, "Thanks. No pressure."

"Hey, it was you that wanted to make an honest woman of her. Now relax. I'm going to make sure the ushers haven't done anything to upset the delicate political balance of the galaxy by sitting the Hanar next to a Krogan or something."

"Yeah… I think I saw grunt try to eat a program…"

"Well, if your fiance will insist on the full bells and whistles wedding."

Shepard gave Kaidan another reassuring pat and turned to walk down the aisle, checking the guests. It was quite the turn-out. Not just close friends, but politicians and even the odd journalist - a big society wedding. The Citadel's main registry office was packed. He paused and bent down to talk to Shala'Raan, Tali's aunt, who was sat with the Quarian contingent.

"Good view Shala?"

The Quarian woman smiled at him through her clear breather-mask - the progress made with their immune systems meant that full environment suits were no longer necessary, but they still needed breathers to prevent infection by inhalation. The "revelation of the Quarians", it had been called. Some still wore the full suits, still nervous, but progress was being made. They could only go fully free back on Rannoch and even then only in certain areas. It was a start.

"Wonderful, Admiral. Quite the turnout."

"Well, Kaidan has a lot of pull these days. Lots of people who owe him. And a lot of people who want to see him happy. This is a big event. Got to have all you big-wigs here!"

Shala frowned at the expression, but smiled, "Ah, another idiom. Tali has yet to give me the full course. She picks them up quickly. Mind you, Councillor Descartes has been most enlightening as a cultural ambassador - the Geth do tend to learn rather quickly."

Whilst he wanted to avoid politics, especially today, Shepard felt he had to ask, "I read the reports, I get the official picture. How are things now though?"

Shala cocked her head and shrugged, "Things will be tense for a while to come. But the… incident with Daro'Xen showed us that the Geth are more magnanimous and analytical than we thought. Again we misjudge. They do not judge the race by the actions of a few. We do not want to repeat the mistakes of our ancestors. And neither do they. We live and learn," she quirked a look at Shepard, flashing another smile, "And Councillor Descartes has been happy to help. She passed me a copy of recovered Quarian music data, found on one of our old Colonies. We make small steps, but me move forwards."

"Good to hear. I trust your guests are comfortable. We have laid on purified food for the reception afterwards."

"Ah yes, the ceremony feast. Amazing how in all cultures there are always similarities. My thanks, Admiral. Now, you should attend to the other guests. Favouritism to an aunt-in-law will not do."

He chuckled and nodded, moving among the guests who were settling down. A brief word with Barla Von, catching up with Councillor Victus - the usual. A movement at the back of the vast room caught his eye and he limped towards the doors - he didn't need a cane now at least, but even with the flash-grown replacement joint there was still some restriction of movement. But he wasn't as slow as he had been at least.

He slipped out the door to find Tali waiting. She looked absolutely stunning, all flowing, loose cloth draped around her lithe form. She wore a face-mask now, similar to Shala'Raan's, but coyly obscured by a veil. As he closed the door behind him she lifted herself onto her toes and pulled the veil and mask away, planting a kiss on Shepard's lips. He smiled at her and looked around.

"I hope that wasn't an attempt to delay bad news…."

"No, if I wanted that I'd wouldn't be wearing so much silk… more lace, perhaps... Such nice materials humans use!"

She twirled and he found himself leaning back to appreciate the vision before him.

"You look stunning."

"You're biased!" She dipped her head demurely and looked at him, "But it does feel a lot nicer. Liara asked me to check Kaidan hadn't run off."

"He hasn't. Poor guy's practically nailed to the floor there."

Tali laughed, "I will pass it along. Now, go back and make sure that legendary spectre courage doesn't fail him."

"Aye aye, Admiral. First dance later?"

"How could I resist?"

She enveloped him in a hug, planting another kiss on him and was then gone, vanishing into the gardens that surrounded the Citadel's registry. Chuckling, Shepard disappeared back inside.

* * *

Kaidan heard Shepard's approach and glanced to one side.

"This is the worst part."

"The waiting?"

"The waiting. I could run."

"You could. But I would have to wash my hands, disavow any knowledge. Not going to offend the major information broker in the galaxy," Shepard smiled, his voice mild, "And then you'd have to keep on running. And that's nothing compared to what her father'd do to you."

"Always knew you were a fan of cruel and unusual punishments."

"Only for those who bring them on themselves," There was a sound as the crowd moved, all standing. Shepard nodded forwards, "Eyes front, Marine."

Kaidan swallowed as the music began - an uplifting choir of candescent chords, haunting as they echoed throughout the cavernous Officiation room. Haunting and yet uplifting. He felt the presence of someone approach, the sound of gasps and sighs from the audience.

And then she was there, resplendent in a figure hugging dress that seemed to shimmer in the light - an azure gown that flowed into a long train. It accentuated her figure, flowing into her skin almost, almost hiding the gentle swell of her stomach. Kaidan's throat was dry. He watched an older Asari step around his bride-to-be, taking station to one side: Liara's father, Matriarch Aethyta. His gaze remained locked on Liara, relieved and yet suddenly fearful. From the corner of his eye he saw Kasumi and Tali, wearing their matching bridesmaid gowns, step to one side, behind the Matriarch.

He met Liara's eyes and saw there a mirror to his own emotion: hope tinged with fear. The sight cemented his thoughts. Slowly, Kaidan smiled and reached out, taking his fiance's hand in his.

* * *

Shepard stood and chimed a fork on the glass in front of him. Slowly, the hubbub in the feast-hall died away, Wrex's booming laugh from the back of the room echoing into silence.

"Ladies and gentlemen. And jellyfish. And Geth. Thank you for coming to help Liara and Kaidan celebrate this special day. I know we all have our own cultural norms, all different and yet so similar. It is my pleasure today to introduce you all to The Best Man's speech. Kaidan, I would like to apologise in advance. Same to you Liara."

He pulled a large sheaf of papers from under the table and looked out at the crowd, a serious expression on his face.

"As you all know, I am a man of few words, not prone to speeches," he had to pause as the laughter rippled gently around the room, "Nor to giving grandiose statements about the nature of others," He fixed a look at Tali, sat on the Bride's end of the table, on the other side of Matriarch Aethyta. His other half was giggling like a mad thing, "So…. I will keep this brief."

He tossed the papers over his shoulder, mock-scowling at the loud sighs of relief from his audience.

"Kaidan and I met under interesting circumstances, during boot camp on Luna… he had just made a pass at one of the instructors and, well…. lets just say that forged him into the fine, quietly reserved man we see before us…!"

Shepard keep it short and punchy, ribbing the poor Captain over his fashion sense, errors in judgement, comedic moments and sentimental pauses. He read out letters from absent friends: Zaeed who told him to that he'd "Finally made the goddamned right choice,"; Admiral Hackett who commented that "He expected him on duty at 0500 the next day", to which he followed up with "Which gives him a whole four hours and fifty nine minutes to think about what happens after the wedding night," Liara practically turned purple.

Finally Shepard wound down with: "...and because we know what a voracious, out-going and frankly predatory individual Kaidan is, I would ask any members of the audience with the access codes to the Captain's cabin on the Normandy to please step forwards and delete them from their omni-tools."

There was light chuckling as several people, evidently in on the joke, stood and approached the wedding party's top-table: a human member of the catering staff, followed by a grinning Traynor, then a smiling Gabby, one of the Normandy's terrible-twosome of engineers. The chuckles erupted as Wrex stood and approached the table, keying his omni-tool. He winked and mimed a "call me" to Kaidan and sat back down. Shepard smiled and raised a glass.

"Now, please be upstanding. I would like to raise a toast to friends absent, friends lost and love found. To the past for the memories had and to the future for the memories yet to come; To congratulate two of my oldest friends for finding each other. And for their impending new arrival. To Kaidan and Liara!"

The audience stood and practically bellowed the response: "Kaidan and Liara!"

* * *

Shepard sat and watched. The lights had dimmed in the feast-hall. he was sat to one side, Wrex and garrus chattering away beside him. The party was going well - slow music chimed across the room and in the centre kaidan and Liara swayed, lost in each other and the faint hum of the music.

Councillor Victus slumped into a chair beside him, watching the pair. He heard the Turian chuckle faintly and raised a half full glass to the man.

"Glad you're enjoying yourself Councillor."

"Adrien, please. formality all the damn time, I think we've earned first names by now."

"And now you sound like you're flirting."

The Turian barked a laugh and shook his head, "I could do worse. But no, I have to deal with so many damn politico's, so many knives and plots. It'd be nice to just sit and talk… to a friend."

John Shepard looked across at the man and arched an eyebrow. He managed a smile, "Thank you… Adrien. It's been a damn long time coming, but we're getting there." He sighed and sipped at the drink in his hand; for a moment his eyes saw nothing. Adrien was silent too, watching the slow flow of the dance before them. When he spoke, his voice was quiet.

"We have to enjoy moments like these, John. There's always a new front, always something…"

Shepard gave him a frown, "That sounds like the voice of defeat. Not the Adrien Victus I met on Menae."

"I hate politics Shepard. I'm a damn soldier. All clean lines and battle-fronts, lines of sight. At least the enemy has the decency to attack…"

"Except where they feint. Except where they offer false flags? You're being disingenuous Councillor: battle is nasty and dirty and sneaky. Double crosses and people clawing each others' eyes out for any advantage," he took another sip, relishing the burn of the alcohol, "At least in politics you get to see them squirm more."

"This idiocy with the dalatrass…"

"...is for tomorrow. Let it lie for now. Wrex knows. You know. The Free Salarian Republic knows. For one night, Adrien, just enjoy a drink, find some company and dance."

As if summoned, a blue skinned figure in a form hugging dress appeared from the crowd. She eyed both the men, her eyes settling on Victus.

"Care for a dance with the Father of the bride?" Matriarch Aethyta's mouth curved into a grin. Adrien Victus' mandible's flared into a smile of his own. He inclined a head to Shepard.

"If you would excuse me, Spectre-General."

"Knock yourself out, Councillor. Councillor Aethyta… please don't break him."

Liara's father chuckled and placed a hand on her hip, "As if. He may be a little bruised however…" she bumped a hip against Victus who stumbled, but recovered admirably. Shepard chuckled as he watched them adopt a formal pose and join the dance. He leaned back and just savoured the peace. No gunfire; no distress signals; no fear.

Arms draped around his shoulders. Lips pressed against his cheek. A lithe figure trailed hands across his shoulder, moving into view before settling herself comfortably into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey you."

"Hey yourself… talking politics?"

"Trying not to. Thank god for fathers' in law."

Tali laughed, a soft sound amidst the music and susurration of noise in the hall. Shepard noticed Wrex and Garrus pointedly ignoring them. In the background Kasumi was laughing with Shala'Raan. Grunt, the tank-born Krogan, was in deep discussion with james Vega over something very important. The large pile of bottles near them indicated how deep their discussion evidently was. Shepard felt Tali lean her head into the crook of his shoulder.

_Peace._

"You know, I can't believe it's been…"

"I know..."

He nodded slowly. It felt so long ago - barely two years or so. He tried not to count; that would feel like it still had a hold on him. The nightmares were no more at least. Patient arms had held him, gentle murmurs in the dark had reassured him. And he had helped her too; a reassuring presence, a reminder that not everything had been broken. He felt her shift in his lap, heard her sigh.

"Here I am, draped on my human... my father," she quirked a smile at him, eyes soft, "Father would be so _proud_ of you."

He paused as he felt her hand touch his cheek. He looked down and saw her eyes staring at him. Even now she still trembled, as if he was going to vanish; shatter and disappear from her. He squeezed her gently and felt her relax. His voice was soft when he spoke.

"Someone's been having Turian brandy."

Tali tried to look defiant, but now deprived of the mask to obscure her face, her expression were a little harder to pull off: her sly grin breaking out almost instantaneously.

"Maybe. Kasumi is a bad influence. So is Miranda."

"What can I say - I build excellent social groups."

Tali tried to press closer to him, humming contentedly, "True. And I owe Miri a damn sight more drink-wise. There's a debt I'll be paying off for ages."

"Sorry to have put you out so much."

He smiled softly at her - those sort of jokes had to be done carefully. She didn't always appreciate them. This time she just swatted his chest.

"I would pay it a thousand times over. You know that, bosh'tet."

"You know, you still haven't told me what that means."

"It's a ploy to keep you with me - you keep asking, you won't disappear."

He looked her full in the face then. He saw the fear there, still. The guilt. Every time she saw him limp, he saw her swallow. He ran a hand along her jaw-line and smiled. Shepard saw her searching his gaze, as if trying to see the lie, trying to find the trap that would doom her again to a future of emptiness. He pulled her close.

"Never. Never again."

She relaxed, settling again. He felt his hand trail down to her abdomen and press there, protectively. her hand settled over his and squeezed. Memories of lips and tightly wrapped sheets, gasps in the night; loss and recovery gulped in equal measure. Two souls finding each other once more.

"Worked too hard, fought too long, lost so much. Not again, Tali'Shepard nar Rayya vas Rannoch. Not letting you go ever again. Thought I'd made that pretty darn clear."

He felt her adjust herself, her voice a thrum of contentment. He had to swallow and gave her a little look from the corner of his eye. She merely arched an eyebrow innocently. He cracked a smile and they turned their gaze back to the feast. Friends dancing amid colour and light; the sight of laughing, smiling faces; the fear now long-fled. Contentment and happiness settled on the crowd.

"We are here. We survived. And we have so much more time. I love you."

Tali turned her head and lifted herself, pulling aside veil and face-mask, planting a kiss against his lips. She pressed hard against him. When they drew apart, they were both nearly panting. She smiled at him.

"Keelah se'lai."

* * *

**And there we have it. An ending of sorts. Some of you may choose the former chapter for a better flow. But i think this works too.**

**Expect more to fill out this universe. Spot the not so subtle hints!**

**Feel free to PM me with questions, corrections, suggestions etc. I am looking at forum options, should I ever generate enough information / story / ideas!**

**Quite sad to wrap this one up - I do love the characters, but I don't want to overschmaltz. Or torture them for too long! I think they've earned some form of peace by now.**

**Or at least a regularity to the insanity.**

**I would like to thank:**

**Nightstride**

**V-rcingetorix**

**Way of the Sheika**

**The Sneaky Fox**

**Your feedback and kind words made this even more a pleasure.**

**Also, thank you to all who gave me reviews - always helpful and always an honour. It is truly humbling to realise I impacted people, even in a small way. I hope i can continue to entertain.**

**If you have ideas or suggestions about what you'd like to see from the characters, please feel free to tell me. I can't promise I will follow through, but I always like to bat ideas around!**

**All the best,**

**Praetus**


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